Jesse has this pet peeve of getting annoyed that I have so many tabs open at a time. Sorry, that's why they invented tabs, Jesse, so you can look at several things at a time. Anyway, I was going through blogovizing and working on some drafts of things and I told Jesse, "If you're annoyed at how I have ten million tabs open at once, you'd hate seeing what my blog looks like!"
But that's totally a good thing, though. For me, I keep drafts open as projects I'm working on that I don't want published quiet yet. On that note, I have a bunch of unfinished projects. Technically I have three rough drafts although I'm probably going to scrap two of them. But I have three more great ideas, one kinda was born as part of the draft I'm keeping, the other was inspired by the age old question "what do you do if you find a case of money" and the last is based off a personal fear/concern I have.
All this will center around Reno.
The end.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Short Stories
I enjoy writing but I'm by no means a writer. Fortunately, thanks to places like www.lulu.com, people who enjoy little things can take those things to make a bigger thing. Basically the site is a self-publishing site. I've always taken an interest in writing short stories. It's something I've done for as long as I could remember and I feel like maybe it's a good idea to do something with them. So what exactly do I write about? Well, a lot of random stuff. However I notice I tend to draw fascination with characters who are a little quirky. Butchers. Hit men. Waitresses. Housewives. Vigilantes. I like introverts who struggle with who they are as people and their place in society. I like the moment they find someone who is so different yet so similar to them. I like twisted relationships that don't quite make sense yet make perfect sense. I love child like grown ups and sophisticated children. I like bad guys who have a heart and conscience and good guys who realize they are capable of doing evil and feel ok with it. I love people who go out and get revenge on others simply because they hold a grudge. I like people who realize they are more resourceful when placed in predicaments that force them to be creative. I also like people whose stories connect indirectly. Anyway, I think whatever I may have to offer might be fun for some of you out there. Probably more geared towards chicks, but most people I know who read a lot are chicks, so there you go!
Self Interview To Help Explain The Creative Inspiration
The following interview takes place on a desktop computer as the logical thinking side of my brain tries to pick at my creative side in an attempt of processing and help explaining the creative inspiration.
Logical Side: So, I understand you've been on a creative stint lately.
Creative Side: Yes. I've been feeling especially creative lately but I just don't know where to start. Being at home for so long has been building ideas in my head and it just feels so overwhelmed with creative juices like it's going to erupt; like some sort of creative volcano. Some of my ideas involve money, others just involve time and lack of interruption. Urgh! Those always suck because I find myself never having much of either. Oh well. 'Tis the nature of the beast I suppose, right? I guess at this point I've been writing a lot. It's the only thing I can do that doesn't cost and comes naturally.
LS: So what are you doing now?
CS: Right now, I just finished a few rough drafts. I had two that kinda tied in together and one that is a total rewrite of the main part of the first one.
LS: Exactly what do you mean by that?
CS: ::drinks tea:: Well, I had this one idea for a story and I wrote it. But then it didn't seem quite right because it seemed like some parts could use a little more explanation and instead of going into detail in those parts and getting super wordy, I just decided to create a whole other story to explain the back story. They kinda stand out on their own as individual short stories, but if you read them together, it starts to form a novel. I didn't want to leave the original story hanging with this questionable ending. I mean, I suppose it could work either way. Maybe I'm making a mistake by making it longer than it should be? But yeah, it was supposed to be a few collections of random short stories that maybe had connecting themes, but then I thought it would be kinda fun to have these little stories that held up on their own as a short story but tied into each other so if you read it chronologically, you would wind up with a novel. I guess I just don't have the patience to sit and consicely write a novel or read one for that matter. I'm notoriously lazy when it comes to reading yet I'm selfish in the sense I totally want others to hear what I have to say. You know, like someone who talks too much and doesn't shut up when you're trying to have a conversation.
LS: So instead you're trying to break the conversation up?
CS: I guess I just need a drink or two in between stories so I can shut up and hear what someone else has to say. ::hahahah awkward laugh:: You know, have you ever been in that situation? You go out with friends and suddenly realize you've been talking about yourself for way too long so like you just stop what you're doing and become so involved in your drink and listening to someone else just to level the playing field? Sometimes you just sit there wondering what the hell they're going on about but you listen anyway hoping to find a way to turn their story back to you even if it has nothing to do with you at all? God, I totally sound shallow right now, don't I?
LS: Completely. So do any of your stories have common themes since you said they're all connected?
CS: Kinda. I'm a fan of introverts. Bad decision making. Self realization and awareness. Awkward moments. Nothing your average person hasn't dealt with at some point in life or another. I love characters who are just awkward with insecurities. I guess we never really grow out of our insecurities.
LS: Probably not. Would you care to elaborate?
CS: Well, ok, I think most people can agree they have had a period in life where they were awkward and didn't feel comfortable in the world. I think for me jr. high was pretty crappy. High school sucked too to an extent but jr. high was the worst. When I was young and going through an awkward phase, though, I used to write letters to people who weren't from this lifetime or that I had even known just for the fact of feeling like I was reaching out to someone. I threw them all away but some of the things were pretty silly normal teenager stuff. You know, stuff like, "gee, how come guys don't like me" or whatever. Just stupid stuff. But the thing is, when you're young and awkward, even when you grow into your confidence, that awkwardness is still there with you and it follows you for life. It kinda makes you who you are and you will always be defined by that. Only difference is when you become an adult, they call it quirkiness and somehow it becomes socially acceptable, especially when alcohol is involved! ::hahaha::
LS: I see. So how are your people awkward?
CS: I wouldn't say they're completely socially inept but they definitely have issues. I'm a big fan of domestic violence. I think it makes for great fiction. For me, it doesn't get any better than a weak woman who consciously chooses to stay in a bad situation and when they have an opportunity to leave, they choose to stay. I think that is rich. Yet so many women are like that. They are defined by their husbands and fear that if they leave, they are nothing. But then there's a moment of self realization in which someone, and I say someone because without being mean, usually these women stay around too long and don't realize they're in a bad situation because they are blinded by a pseudo love or fear, and someone makes them realize that and they say, "Hey I think it's time to go." So for me, the whole insecure abused woman theme is almost always present; a woman who is in some form of abusive relationship, whether it be physical, mental, or just that feeling of isolation and loneliness and lack of love. Which, come to think of it, I have to correct myself in saying I have been in the latter half. I dealt with a relationship for 5 years in which I was pretty much belittled and in a relationship to speak of but emotionally wasn't there and I guess I could say I'd probably rather be beaten because at least that would make more sense. :::hahah nervous laugh:::: drinks tea::: But then there's a lot of other things like grudges and revenge. I love a good grudge and I love great revenge. I think it's amazing how the human species can hold grudges. I mean, you kinda see stuff like that in the animal kingdom but revenge, that's all man. It's awesome. I love having bad guys with a conscience. I think I've grown out of the whole bad for bad sake thing. I think when you put someone in that situation, it just makes them some sorta sociopath. When you have someone kill someone for a justifiable reason, or they show compassion towards their victims, it kinda makes you like that person a little more. I've always been a fan of the bad guy. I've always wanted to know more about him. What makes him tick. Does he care about anyone or is he just some vacant evil being. I think when you make the bad guy human and not some super killer, it makes them more likable and more real. I'm the type of person who watches a movie where the bad guy gets hurt or something and you want to give him a hug and say, "It's alright, let me help you." :::nervous laugh::: I guess I always find them more interesting than some stuffy hero who saves the day. Do you ever notice how they're always a little cocky? I hate cockiness. In heroes anyway. I'm totally ok with a bad guy who is a little cocky when you meet him but then softens up a little later on. I love me some villains!
LS: Let me guess. You like the bad guys? So with this fascination with bad guys, what are their roles?
CS: I like them as my protagonists. I think they make far interesting characters and you can play more with their psychological depths and make them cruel yet likable. I like to give them a sense of morals and ethics, I think he's a little more compassionate towards others and how he treats them. Like, people who get killed, he likes to do it quickly so he doesn't grow attached because there's that possibility that if he gets to like someone, he won't be able to kill them. I like this guy, though. He's likable and compassionate but without being a total wuss. And I think he even provides a little bit of black comedy at times.
LS: So who is the real villain if your bad guy is your protagonist?
CS: Who do you think? I believe all signs point to the abusive husband. He's really a key point in everything. Without him, there's really no plot. The guy is a jerk. Everything kinda revolves around him in his world and he totally will step on anyone to save his ass, including his wife. He's just a scumbag and you don't feel bad for him at all. At least I hope you don't.
LS: There really are only three main characters. What about the supporting characters?
CS: It's funny because the only other characters I can think of off hand right now is just the whore. Her role kinda re-instates the whole issues of betrayal towards the wife and how the wife is kinda a doormat sometimes and people can walk all over her. I mean, you have a woman who is not only sleeping with her husband, but also getting paid to do it and it's like dually insulting to the wife, yet the wife feels sorry for her because she's a single mom going to school. But then, she's kinda a little more than just that because she's also a reinforcing wake up call that the husband has a problem and she has no emotional attachment to him, he's just paying her bills. But yeah, that just goes back to the whole insulting thing, though.
LS: So is this a town thing?
CS: Kinda. I wasn't too sure about a location at first, but now I'm totally feeling Reno. But I like small towns. I grew up in a big town. Everyone was just a nameless face in a crowd. When I moved to Reno, I kinda got this small town vibe from here. I think most people out here feel this town is kinda big. Not as big as the valley was but it's big enough. But yeah, if there's two things I've learned I love in my life of limited traveling it's small towns and deserts. Give me a small desert town and I'm a happy camper. :::hahah::: Really though, I don't think I could ever live in a small town unless I was going to snap and go on some sort of over the top dramatic rampage. Although I sometimes joke that I want to die in old town Albuquerque. That's a beautifully depressing place. It feels kinda like you're in a dream state somewhere between life and death. It's remarkably bleak. I think it actually makes a nice backdrop for some stories. I think I might use it one day for a Paddington Ramirez story of some sort.
LS: Oh no, not Paddington Ramirez.
CS: Oh, yes. :::a shared hahahaha with LS::: I loved blogging as him but I think it kinda got old after a while, but I think if I went a little more in depth with things it could be kinda fun. Or just do it a diary style. The Diary of Paddington Ramirez. Ha! But really, I think that's about all for now. I'd like to do a collection of stories in the desert. Not sure where yet. I'm thinking Arizona or New Mexico. Or even Reno. It's still technically a desert and it is a lovely backdrop.
LS: Well, if that's it, thank you for your time and your insight. Good luck with things.
CS: Not a problem. Thanks!
Logical Side: So, I understand you've been on a creative stint lately.
Creative Side: Yes. I've been feeling especially creative lately but I just don't know where to start. Being at home for so long has been building ideas in my head and it just feels so overwhelmed with creative juices like it's going to erupt; like some sort of creative volcano. Some of my ideas involve money, others just involve time and lack of interruption. Urgh! Those always suck because I find myself never having much of either. Oh well. 'Tis the nature of the beast I suppose, right? I guess at this point I've been writing a lot. It's the only thing I can do that doesn't cost and comes naturally.
LS: So what are you doing now?
CS: Right now, I just finished a few rough drafts. I had two that kinda tied in together and one that is a total rewrite of the main part of the first one.
LS: Exactly what do you mean by that?
CS: ::drinks tea:: Well, I had this one idea for a story and I wrote it. But then it didn't seem quite right because it seemed like some parts could use a little more explanation and instead of going into detail in those parts and getting super wordy, I just decided to create a whole other story to explain the back story. They kinda stand out on their own as individual short stories, but if you read them together, it starts to form a novel. I didn't want to leave the original story hanging with this questionable ending. I mean, I suppose it could work either way. Maybe I'm making a mistake by making it longer than it should be? But yeah, it was supposed to be a few collections of random short stories that maybe had connecting themes, but then I thought it would be kinda fun to have these little stories that held up on their own as a short story but tied into each other so if you read it chronologically, you would wind up with a novel. I guess I just don't have the patience to sit and consicely write a novel or read one for that matter. I'm notoriously lazy when it comes to reading yet I'm selfish in the sense I totally want others to hear what I have to say. You know, like someone who talks too much and doesn't shut up when you're trying to have a conversation.
LS: So instead you're trying to break the conversation up?
CS: I guess I just need a drink or two in between stories so I can shut up and hear what someone else has to say. ::hahahah awkward laugh:: You know, have you ever been in that situation? You go out with friends and suddenly realize you've been talking about yourself for way too long so like you just stop what you're doing and become so involved in your drink and listening to someone else just to level the playing field? Sometimes you just sit there wondering what the hell they're going on about but you listen anyway hoping to find a way to turn their story back to you even if it has nothing to do with you at all? God, I totally sound shallow right now, don't I?
LS: Completely. So do any of your stories have common themes since you said they're all connected?
CS: Kinda. I'm a fan of introverts. Bad decision making. Self realization and awareness. Awkward moments. Nothing your average person hasn't dealt with at some point in life or another. I love characters who are just awkward with insecurities. I guess we never really grow out of our insecurities.
LS: Probably not. Would you care to elaborate?
CS: Well, ok, I think most people can agree they have had a period in life where they were awkward and didn't feel comfortable in the world. I think for me jr. high was pretty crappy. High school sucked too to an extent but jr. high was the worst. When I was young and going through an awkward phase, though, I used to write letters to people who weren't from this lifetime or that I had even known just for the fact of feeling like I was reaching out to someone. I threw them all away but some of the things were pretty silly normal teenager stuff. You know, stuff like, "gee, how come guys don't like me" or whatever. Just stupid stuff. But the thing is, when you're young and awkward, even when you grow into your confidence, that awkwardness is still there with you and it follows you for life. It kinda makes you who you are and you will always be defined by that. Only difference is when you become an adult, they call it quirkiness and somehow it becomes socially acceptable, especially when alcohol is involved! ::hahaha::
LS: I see. So how are your people awkward?
CS: I wouldn't say they're completely socially inept but they definitely have issues. I'm a big fan of domestic violence. I think it makes for great fiction. For me, it doesn't get any better than a weak woman who consciously chooses to stay in a bad situation and when they have an opportunity to leave, they choose to stay. I think that is rich. Yet so many women are like that. They are defined by their husbands and fear that if they leave, they are nothing. But then there's a moment of self realization in which someone, and I say someone because without being mean, usually these women stay around too long and don't realize they're in a bad situation because they are blinded by a pseudo love or fear, and someone makes them realize that and they say, "Hey I think it's time to go." So for me, the whole insecure abused woman theme is almost always present; a woman who is in some form of abusive relationship, whether it be physical, mental, or just that feeling of isolation and loneliness and lack of love. Which, come to think of it, I have to correct myself in saying I have been in the latter half. I dealt with a relationship for 5 years in which I was pretty much belittled and in a relationship to speak of but emotionally wasn't there and I guess I could say I'd probably rather be beaten because at least that would make more sense. :::hahah nervous laugh:::: drinks tea::: But then there's a lot of other things like grudges and revenge. I love a good grudge and I love great revenge. I think it's amazing how the human species can hold grudges. I mean, you kinda see stuff like that in the animal kingdom but revenge, that's all man. It's awesome. I love having bad guys with a conscience. I think I've grown out of the whole bad for bad sake thing. I think when you put someone in that situation, it just makes them some sorta sociopath. When you have someone kill someone for a justifiable reason, or they show compassion towards their victims, it kinda makes you like that person a little more. I've always been a fan of the bad guy. I've always wanted to know more about him. What makes him tick. Does he care about anyone or is he just some vacant evil being. I think when you make the bad guy human and not some super killer, it makes them more likable and more real. I'm the type of person who watches a movie where the bad guy gets hurt or something and you want to give him a hug and say, "It's alright, let me help you." :::nervous laugh::: I guess I always find them more interesting than some stuffy hero who saves the day. Do you ever notice how they're always a little cocky? I hate cockiness. In heroes anyway. I'm totally ok with a bad guy who is a little cocky when you meet him but then softens up a little later on. I love me some villains!
LS: Let me guess. You like the bad guys? So with this fascination with bad guys, what are their roles?
CS: I like them as my protagonists. I think they make far interesting characters and you can play more with their psychological depths and make them cruel yet likable. I like to give them a sense of morals and ethics, I think he's a little more compassionate towards others and how he treats them. Like, people who get killed, he likes to do it quickly so he doesn't grow attached because there's that possibility that if he gets to like someone, he won't be able to kill them. I like this guy, though. He's likable and compassionate but without being a total wuss. And I think he even provides a little bit of black comedy at times.
LS: So who is the real villain if your bad guy is your protagonist?
CS: Who do you think? I believe all signs point to the abusive husband. He's really a key point in everything. Without him, there's really no plot. The guy is a jerk. Everything kinda revolves around him in his world and he totally will step on anyone to save his ass, including his wife. He's just a scumbag and you don't feel bad for him at all. At least I hope you don't.
LS: There really are only three main characters. What about the supporting characters?
CS: It's funny because the only other characters I can think of off hand right now is just the whore. Her role kinda re-instates the whole issues of betrayal towards the wife and how the wife is kinda a doormat sometimes and people can walk all over her. I mean, you have a woman who is not only sleeping with her husband, but also getting paid to do it and it's like dually insulting to the wife, yet the wife feels sorry for her because she's a single mom going to school. But then, she's kinda a little more than just that because she's also a reinforcing wake up call that the husband has a problem and she has no emotional attachment to him, he's just paying her bills. But yeah, that just goes back to the whole insulting thing, though.
LS: So is this a town thing?
CS: Kinda. I wasn't too sure about a location at first, but now I'm totally feeling Reno. But I like small towns. I grew up in a big town. Everyone was just a nameless face in a crowd. When I moved to Reno, I kinda got this small town vibe from here. I think most people out here feel this town is kinda big. Not as big as the valley was but it's big enough. But yeah, if there's two things I've learned I love in my life of limited traveling it's small towns and deserts. Give me a small desert town and I'm a happy camper. :::hahah::: Really though, I don't think I could ever live in a small town unless I was going to snap and go on some sort of over the top dramatic rampage. Although I sometimes joke that I want to die in old town Albuquerque. That's a beautifully depressing place. It feels kinda like you're in a dream state somewhere between life and death. It's remarkably bleak. I think it actually makes a nice backdrop for some stories. I think I might use it one day for a Paddington Ramirez story of some sort.
LS: Oh no, not Paddington Ramirez.
CS: Oh, yes. :::a shared hahahaha with LS::: I loved blogging as him but I think it kinda got old after a while, but I think if I went a little more in depth with things it could be kinda fun. Or just do it a diary style. The Diary of Paddington Ramirez. Ha! But really, I think that's about all for now. I'd like to do a collection of stories in the desert. Not sure where yet. I'm thinking Arizona or New Mexico. Or even Reno. It's still technically a desert and it is a lovely backdrop.
LS: Well, if that's it, thank you for your time and your insight. Good luck with things.
CS: Not a problem. Thanks!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Big Trouble In Little Reno
Today we had the adventure of going to the ER. This story actually starts last night. Jesse got home from a crappy hectic day at work. Then he had to remove some slugs that were lodged in a barrel of a gun. Then he cleaned the shotgun and cleaned up his mess.
This morning was super windy. I saw that the wind knocked the table in my backyard over and into my old veggie garden. Chairs were all over the back yard. I fixed that and put the chairs back. It was such a crazy morning. About an hour later, I went to look in the fridge to see what I could make for lunch. I was glad to see my table was still standing on the patio. As I was going into the fridge, Grubby Little Fingers comes into the laundry room. He was puttering about with Lulu and I told them to back up so I could get into the fridge. As I look in the freezer to see if there's anything else, I hear puttering around my feet and then screaming bloody murder. I figure Charlie is just being a butt from growing or something as he's been doing lately and do a double take and realize that he has some sort of liquid on his face. I was thinking maybe something in the freezer dripped on him and the cold spooked him. Then I see it. An open container dripping cleaning oil in Charlie's hand.
Without thinking, I run him into the kitchen and run some warm water and try to rinse the majority of whatever is on him off his face and hands. He's screaming at me and hating life so I book it to the shower and dump him in there and strip his clothes and mine simultaneously while rinsing him. I hold him under the shower and pour cups of water over his face. He's pretty angry now and his crying has gone from scared to mad. He now is trying to bat the water away from him and I'm wondering if it irritates him more or if it's been taken care of [rinsing the oil out] and he's fine and just annoyed by me now. I dry him off and watch how he is to see if his eyes are watery or red or if he has any burn or rash marks. He looks fine with the exception of his eyes which are all puffy and red but he's also rubbing at them. He's also trying to watch tv too and tries to wriggle out of the towel and off my lap so he can go to the tv. At this point, I'm thinking whatever happened isn't too bad, but it's probably a good idea to take him in to get looked at. So I have to take him to the ER.
Just as I'm leaving, I see Jesse and tell him briefly what happened and leave. When we get to the ER, Charlie is pretty much back to his happy troublesome self. I see the triage nurse and they check Charlie out and all is fine but they admit us relatively quickly because I have a toddler with "acute chemical exposure". They make it sound worse than it is. And of course I feel like everyone is looking at me like it's worse than it is because of the circumstances that it's not bad enough that it's a cleaning oil but that it's a gun oil. An oil that usually is in a secured place and only got left out because of a stressful day and was so small and tiny that no one noticed it was forgotten to be put back. Of course Charlie is totally happy and trying to steal the medical equipment and break things. I guess my son was my only redeeming factor in the sense he was right in front of two adults and still trying to get in trouble.
So we get to a room and Charlie thinks he's on vacation or something at a resort spa. He's getting all this attention from strangers, food, milk, snacks, juice, tv, a bed. He has no clue what's going on and is just giggling and smiling and trying to break things and grab everything in sight. Anyway, after a thorough check up and list of chemicals in the oil, they say Charlie is ok. Even when he got in they said he seemed ok and asked if he was vomiting or anything weird and he wasn't. I said because I have no sense of smell I have no idea how much stuff he got into plus I rinsed him off right away and to be honest, I wasn't in the mood to play guessing games as to did he eat anything, did he not? This was one of those circumstances where I figured I'd rather go to the doctors and not need to than not go to the doctors and things get progressively worse.
In the end, we went home and all is well and Charlie tried to go back to the laundry room to play and I could have strangled him! My lesson learned today: my son is part goat. Charlie's lesson: get into things you're not supposed to and you get to go to the spa resort vacation place where everyone tickles you and says how cute you are and brings you food and snacks; and that being pampered is hard work and you gotta take a nap.
This morning was super windy. I saw that the wind knocked the table in my backyard over and into my old veggie garden. Chairs were all over the back yard. I fixed that and put the chairs back. It was such a crazy morning. About an hour later, I went to look in the fridge to see what I could make for lunch. I was glad to see my table was still standing on the patio. As I was going into the fridge, Grubby Little Fingers comes into the laundry room. He was puttering about with Lulu and I told them to back up so I could get into the fridge. As I look in the freezer to see if there's anything else, I hear puttering around my feet and then screaming bloody murder. I figure Charlie is just being a butt from growing or something as he's been doing lately and do a double take and realize that he has some sort of liquid on his face. I was thinking maybe something in the freezer dripped on him and the cold spooked him. Then I see it. An open container dripping cleaning oil in Charlie's hand.
Without thinking, I run him into the kitchen and run some warm water and try to rinse the majority of whatever is on him off his face and hands. He's screaming at me and hating life so I book it to the shower and dump him in there and strip his clothes and mine simultaneously while rinsing him. I hold him under the shower and pour cups of water over his face. He's pretty angry now and his crying has gone from scared to mad. He now is trying to bat the water away from him and I'm wondering if it irritates him more or if it's been taken care of [rinsing the oil out] and he's fine and just annoyed by me now. I dry him off and watch how he is to see if his eyes are watery or red or if he has any burn or rash marks. He looks fine with the exception of his eyes which are all puffy and red but he's also rubbing at them. He's also trying to watch tv too and tries to wriggle out of the towel and off my lap so he can go to the tv. At this point, I'm thinking whatever happened isn't too bad, but it's probably a good idea to take him in to get looked at. So I have to take him to the ER.
Just as I'm leaving, I see Jesse and tell him briefly what happened and leave. When we get to the ER, Charlie is pretty much back to his happy troublesome self. I see the triage nurse and they check Charlie out and all is fine but they admit us relatively quickly because I have a toddler with "acute chemical exposure". They make it sound worse than it is. And of course I feel like everyone is looking at me like it's worse than it is because of the circumstances that it's not bad enough that it's a cleaning oil but that it's a gun oil. An oil that usually is in a secured place and only got left out because of a stressful day and was so small and tiny that no one noticed it was forgotten to be put back. Of course Charlie is totally happy and trying to steal the medical equipment and break things. I guess my son was my only redeeming factor in the sense he was right in front of two adults and still trying to get in trouble.
So we get to a room and Charlie thinks he's on vacation or something at a resort spa. He's getting all this attention from strangers, food, milk, snacks, juice, tv, a bed. He has no clue what's going on and is just giggling and smiling and trying to break things and grab everything in sight. Anyway, after a thorough check up and list of chemicals in the oil, they say Charlie is ok. Even when he got in they said he seemed ok and asked if he was vomiting or anything weird and he wasn't. I said because I have no sense of smell I have no idea how much stuff he got into plus I rinsed him off right away and to be honest, I wasn't in the mood to play guessing games as to did he eat anything, did he not? This was one of those circumstances where I figured I'd rather go to the doctors and not need to than not go to the doctors and things get progressively worse.
In the end, we went home and all is well and Charlie tried to go back to the laundry room to play and I could have strangled him! My lesson learned today: my son is part goat. Charlie's lesson: get into things you're not supposed to and you get to go to the spa resort vacation place where everyone tickles you and says how cute you are and brings you food and snacks; and that being pampered is hard work and you gotta take a nap.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Revelations
I baked bread today. I made two loaves of white bread. I used some of the buttermilk from Chrissy and it really did a number on enhancing the flavor. I also started my sourdough starter for my Thanksgiving sourdough I'm going to make. I'm not sure at this point if I'm going to do rolls or a loaf. I'm feeling loafy though.
I'm really getting sick of conspiracy theories. I've decided that it's a lot easier to just assume the world is against you and it's going to come to an end. All this hype of the Mayan calendar and 2012 has had me freaking out over the last year, not to mention this stupid cockahooey theory my friend's dad told us about years ago and all the stuff is happening now. It's basically like this: the "predictions" that were discussed are basically things that have been politically ideas over the last few years but the gov't wasn't liberal enough to pull any of it off. And the Mayan calendar is like any other calendar. When it ends, it'll be like our December 31 ending one year and moving on to another. It's just a cycle coming to an end and a new one will begin. The world isn't going to end. There isn't some group of people plotting to destroy people who aren't a part of their secret elite. No one is going to deny you a job because of your age or ethnicity. When it comes down to it all, it's a matter of only the strong survive. You make an effort to get places and when you get to those places, you'll either have the skill set and charisma or you'll just not cut it. It is so much easier to believe lies than it is to open your eyes to the truth. The truth is life is what you make of it and the only person holding you back is yourself. You give stupid ideas power and let them control you or you step up and do something. There's a reason the 7 deadly sins exist and I can easily say there's a handful of people who fit into those categories.
On that note, I started this blog yesterday but didn't quite finish it because I was tired and ready to call it quits for the day. So today, my sourdough starter is looking pretty good and awesome so I'm excited and anticipate some great sourdough. Keeping my fingers crossed.
It's Jesse's birthday today. He's 29 now. At what point did we get so close to 30 and where did those years go? It's funny because I remember we were practically kids when we met. We were only 22 and 23. It feels like only yesterday.
We're finally going to Tahoe. I don't know if I mentioned this yet. Back in May I won this gift certificate for a one night stay and dinner and show at Harveys or Harrah's Lake Tahoe. We've lived in Reno for almost 3 years now and this is finally our first trip out there. We're pretty excited. To make matters even better, my mom will be up the day before we leave so she's going to watch Charlie for us and Lulu and Jesse and I are going to actually have a grown up dinner and date night. I think I might take my fun purple dress to wear out to our dinner and show. I'm so excited and can't wait. We never really had any fancy pants dates when we were dating. We just kinda hung out, went shooting and then Jesse went to school. We moved in together, got married and well, I haven't really got to enjoy the star treatment Jesse's ex's had. One day...
Other than that, I'm waiting to hear about my tube tying and should know by Tuesday or so. No more babies yay!
On that note, my husband is calling from the shower awaiting a fluffy warm towel from the dryer I promised to get him...
I'm really getting sick of conspiracy theories. I've decided that it's a lot easier to just assume the world is against you and it's going to come to an end. All this hype of the Mayan calendar and 2012 has had me freaking out over the last year, not to mention this stupid cockahooey theory my friend's dad told us about years ago and all the stuff is happening now. It's basically like this: the "predictions" that were discussed are basically things that have been politically ideas over the last few years but the gov't wasn't liberal enough to pull any of it off. And the Mayan calendar is like any other calendar. When it ends, it'll be like our December 31 ending one year and moving on to another. It's just a cycle coming to an end and a new one will begin. The world isn't going to end. There isn't some group of people plotting to destroy people who aren't a part of their secret elite. No one is going to deny you a job because of your age or ethnicity. When it comes down to it all, it's a matter of only the strong survive. You make an effort to get places and when you get to those places, you'll either have the skill set and charisma or you'll just not cut it. It is so much easier to believe lies than it is to open your eyes to the truth. The truth is life is what you make of it and the only person holding you back is yourself. You give stupid ideas power and let them control you or you step up and do something. There's a reason the 7 deadly sins exist and I can easily say there's a handful of people who fit into those categories.
On that note, I started this blog yesterday but didn't quite finish it because I was tired and ready to call it quits for the day. So today, my sourdough starter is looking pretty good and awesome so I'm excited and anticipate some great sourdough. Keeping my fingers crossed.
It's Jesse's birthday today. He's 29 now. At what point did we get so close to 30 and where did those years go? It's funny because I remember we were practically kids when we met. We were only 22 and 23. It feels like only yesterday.
We're finally going to Tahoe. I don't know if I mentioned this yet. Back in May I won this gift certificate for a one night stay and dinner and show at Harveys or Harrah's Lake Tahoe. We've lived in Reno for almost 3 years now and this is finally our first trip out there. We're pretty excited. To make matters even better, my mom will be up the day before we leave so she's going to watch Charlie for us and Lulu and Jesse and I are going to actually have a grown up dinner and date night. I think I might take my fun purple dress to wear out to our dinner and show. I'm so excited and can't wait. We never really had any fancy pants dates when we were dating. We just kinda hung out, went shooting and then Jesse went to school. We moved in together, got married and well, I haven't really got to enjoy the star treatment Jesse's ex's had. One day...
Other than that, I'm waiting to hear about my tube tying and should know by Tuesday or so. No more babies yay!
On that note, my husband is calling from the shower awaiting a fluffy warm towel from the dryer I promised to get him...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Baby Showers
My friend Raena is having her baby shower tomorrow. Recently when I was rearranging my photo albums I was looking over the pictures from my shower. My sis totally did an awesome job throwing it, but she usually kicks ass at whatever she does even if no one acknowledges her efforts. I totally don't regret waiting to hear from our insurance company if they can snip snip me and Tuesday is the big day I'll know whether or not it's doable. Woo! It sucks that Katrina, Elizabeth, and Alissa weren't at my baby shower and it sucks that Raena and Allyssa couldn't make it. But oh well, past is past. I hope Raena has a good time tomorrow and I wish I could have gone down. Ho hum. It's probably better I didn't because I have a cold and being sick sucks. I should totally go to Truckee Meadows Herbs and see if they have any new fun teas.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
You know whats buuuuuullshit??? (some TMI)
Like my tribute to the Bullshit/Angry Video Game Nerd guy???
I'm not gonna go into too many details but long story short, my gyno thinks I have endometriosis. If you don't know what that is, it's a gross lady-part disorder where your uterine lining grows wrong, usually wrong places or whatever and creates a bruising effect inside causing pain and all sorts of other weird crap. I never put all the signs together. I attributed my abnormally heavy and painful periods as a teen to stress. Then I went on the pill and suddenly it all stopped. Then when I wasn't on the pill, I was pregnant. Obviously, signs of endometriosis aren't present when you're on birth control or pregnant because you're not making uterine lining then because it's in use. During c-section I had this ugly cyst that looked like a giant raspberry removed. Post c-section I hurt and thought it was because I had a c-section. Then I got my Mirena IUD (which I love!) and thought the pain was still there because of the IUD. So gyno tells me that pain shouldn't be around a year later after c-section and I'm not fevering so there's no staff infection issues. They do an ultrasound to see if there's maybe gnarly cysts or something and check Mirena position. All is good. Mirena is in place fine but I do have a small cyst. However doc says that all my symptoms reek of endometriosis and they'll only know by doing a laparoscopic exam. He doesn't have any pamphlets on it so he gives me the one on sterilization, which is also done apparently laparoscopically.
Here's where the buuuuuuuuullshit comes in...
I don't want any more kids. I didn't want a kid in the first place. Charlie was an accident but I love him none the less and was the last person to know I was pregnant and abortion never even crossed my mind when I found out. I always joked that the only way I'd ever have more kids would be if I had another accident. I have a list about a mile long as to why I don't want any more kids. A few of the top examples include:
We have one child and one pug and that's the way it is.
Charlie is too used to one-on-one attention from his parents if he had a sibling it would make him jealous and possibly create some sort of complex in him where he grows up resenting his sibling and parents.
I hated being pregnant and it hurt really bad and I was super uncomfortable and never want to go through that again in my life.
I had a lot of problems after pregnancy with thrush and don't want to experience that ever again.
Raising one child is hard enough.
I don't want to be one of those people that has more kids than I can afford to take care of.
I don't want to be fat again in my life (selfish but legit reason.)
I don't want any more stretch marks (another selfish but legit reason.)
I don't want to have to pay all those co-pays and go to the doctors every month, two weeks, week, and then pay for labor and delivery costs. Those co-pays add up and birth is expensive!
But back to the buuuuuuuullshit. I hate when other people feel it's their place to butt in and give their two cents. "What if something happens to your child? What if you get divorced and remarry and want to have more children? What if 5 or 10 years from now your mind changes?"
OK, first off, let me say that anyone who says the "what if something happens to your child?" excuse is sick. I can't imagine if something horrible happened to my son, but you know what I can't imagine more? I could NEVER EVER IN MY LIFE think of trying to replace him with another child to fill the void. I mean, that's like having a dog you love a lot, the dog dies and you get a new dog. Sometimes you get a dud, sometimes you get another that is totally different and you love. I just don't think that I would go to that extent though if anything ever happened to Charlie. I mean, he is our one and only Charlie. If anything ever happens to him, that's it. He cannot be replaced and I would never try to do that. I personally think that's just wrong. That is my personal opinion, though.
As for marrying and having children, I'm kind of an advocate against that. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'd never do it. Personally, I'm not a fan of divorce. I would do anything in my powers to avoid divorce. Granted some issues are good warrants for divorce. Cheater, Abusers, Substance Abusers, Criminals, Chronic Mama's Boys aka Men who put Mommy above their spouse and children. However, I feel like this does something detrimental to the current child(ren). It's like you get married and they have a new daddy and it's not enough to say old daddy wasn't good enough, now you are saying that old child wasn't good enough and you need to have a new child. I feel like if you remarry someone and it's not good enough for them to treat the current kids as their own and be happy, it's just kinda sad for the current kids to have to deal with this new stuff. Of course this is just my theory. There's lots of cases where step kids adapt and even enjoy siblings. But for me, I'd never do it. Period.
Lastly, when I got pregnant at 25, I didn't want kids. I had an accident, love him, but don't want any more kids. I will be 28 in 3 months and 30 in 2 years. I know that pregnancies after 30 - 35 tend to have more complications. Why would I want to have a child later in life when it would be more difficult if I had a hard enough time the first time I got pregnant when I was in my birthing prime!?
Let me just end this by saying I am extremely opinionated. I'm not gonna hate anyone for doing things I wouldn't do. That's your decision. But these are mine and they're why I want my tubes tied when in Rome looking for endometriosis. Obviously I convinced the gyno. He just wants to hear it from my husband now that he wants that too. Apparently there's all sorts of legal crap the doctor could face. But he was also the one to mention that if we ever change our minds, while the process isn't reversible, there's always invetro. Pftt yeah right! If I don't want one more kid, I strongly doubt I want 8!!!
The end.
I'm not gonna go into too many details but long story short, my gyno thinks I have endometriosis. If you don't know what that is, it's a gross lady-part disorder where your uterine lining grows wrong, usually wrong places or whatever and creates a bruising effect inside causing pain and all sorts of other weird crap. I never put all the signs together. I attributed my abnormally heavy and painful periods as a teen to stress. Then I went on the pill and suddenly it all stopped. Then when I wasn't on the pill, I was pregnant. Obviously, signs of endometriosis aren't present when you're on birth control or pregnant because you're not making uterine lining then because it's in use. During c-section I had this ugly cyst that looked like a giant raspberry removed. Post c-section I hurt and thought it was because I had a c-section. Then I got my Mirena IUD (which I love!) and thought the pain was still there because of the IUD. So gyno tells me that pain shouldn't be around a year later after c-section and I'm not fevering so there's no staff infection issues. They do an ultrasound to see if there's maybe gnarly cysts or something and check Mirena position. All is good. Mirena is in place fine but I do have a small cyst. However doc says that all my symptoms reek of endometriosis and they'll only know by doing a laparoscopic exam. He doesn't have any pamphlets on it so he gives me the one on sterilization, which is also done apparently laparoscopically.
Here's where the buuuuuuuuullshit comes in...
I don't want any more kids. I didn't want a kid in the first place. Charlie was an accident but I love him none the less and was the last person to know I was pregnant and abortion never even crossed my mind when I found out. I always joked that the only way I'd ever have more kids would be if I had another accident. I have a list about a mile long as to why I don't want any more kids. A few of the top examples include:
We have one child and one pug and that's the way it is.
Charlie is too used to one-on-one attention from his parents if he had a sibling it would make him jealous and possibly create some sort of complex in him where he grows up resenting his sibling and parents.
I hated being pregnant and it hurt really bad and I was super uncomfortable and never want to go through that again in my life.
I had a lot of problems after pregnancy with thrush and don't want to experience that ever again.
Raising one child is hard enough.
I don't want to be one of those people that has more kids than I can afford to take care of.
I don't want to be fat again in my life (selfish but legit reason.)
I don't want any more stretch marks (another selfish but legit reason.)
I don't want to have to pay all those co-pays and go to the doctors every month, two weeks, week, and then pay for labor and delivery costs. Those co-pays add up and birth is expensive!
But back to the buuuuuuuullshit. I hate when other people feel it's their place to butt in and give their two cents. "What if something happens to your child? What if you get divorced and remarry and want to have more children? What if 5 or 10 years from now your mind changes?"
OK, first off, let me say that anyone who says the "what if something happens to your child?" excuse is sick. I can't imagine if something horrible happened to my son, but you know what I can't imagine more? I could NEVER EVER IN MY LIFE think of trying to replace him with another child to fill the void. I mean, that's like having a dog you love a lot, the dog dies and you get a new dog. Sometimes you get a dud, sometimes you get another that is totally different and you love. I just don't think that I would go to that extent though if anything ever happened to Charlie. I mean, he is our one and only Charlie. If anything ever happens to him, that's it. He cannot be replaced and I would never try to do that. I personally think that's just wrong. That is my personal opinion, though.
As for marrying and having children, I'm kind of an advocate against that. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'd never do it. Personally, I'm not a fan of divorce. I would do anything in my powers to avoid divorce. Granted some issues are good warrants for divorce. Cheater, Abusers, Substance Abusers, Criminals, Chronic Mama's Boys aka Men who put Mommy above their spouse and children. However, I feel like this does something detrimental to the current child(ren). It's like you get married and they have a new daddy and it's not enough to say old daddy wasn't good enough, now you are saying that old child wasn't good enough and you need to have a new child. I feel like if you remarry someone and it's not good enough for them to treat the current kids as their own and be happy, it's just kinda sad for the current kids to have to deal with this new stuff. Of course this is just my theory. There's lots of cases where step kids adapt and even enjoy siblings. But for me, I'd never do it. Period.
Lastly, when I got pregnant at 25, I didn't want kids. I had an accident, love him, but don't want any more kids. I will be 28 in 3 months and 30 in 2 years. I know that pregnancies after 30 - 35 tend to have more complications. Why would I want to have a child later in life when it would be more difficult if I had a hard enough time the first time I got pregnant when I was in my birthing prime!?
Let me just end this by saying I am extremely opinionated. I'm not gonna hate anyone for doing things I wouldn't do. That's your decision. But these are mine and they're why I want my tubes tied when in Rome looking for endometriosis. Obviously I convinced the gyno. He just wants to hear it from my husband now that he wants that too. Apparently there's all sorts of legal crap the doctor could face. But he was also the one to mention that if we ever change our minds, while the process isn't reversible, there's always invetro. Pftt yeah right! If I don't want one more kid, I strongly doubt I want 8!!!
The end.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Art Immitating Life
One of our friends told us that my lawn mower reminded him of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. I told him I hadn't seen that movie yet and when I finally did watch it, I couldn't help but draw so many parallels between a fictional movie and my life. I don't have the perfect house. I don't have the perfect lawn. I rent, but even though I rent, it is my house and how people who do not know me personally know of me. I am the person who decorated their house for the holidays. I am the person who tries to keep my place clean and orderly. I am someone who would make a good neighbor. This is beneficial to me because it assures that all the houses that are being foreclosed in our neighborhood get bought out by good families or investors who care about their tenants and don't just get any random tweakers or scumbags in that will bring down the neighborhood. Today, I was doing my usual yard work. Mowed the lawn, pulled weeds, watered, stuff like that. I had a Gran Torino moment when I got to the driveway. We have these weeds that grow in between the cracks of the cement and I pull what I can and clip what I can't. As I got further up the driveway, I found myself clipping weeds that were growing over in the yard next door onto our property and it just frustrated me because I don't understand how it is someone can live in a home and not pull weeds. These weeds are gross because they're all tall and itchy and the parts that don't itch have tiny little thorns. It just baffles me as to why some people are just so lazy and apathetic to the existence of their yards that they don't take care of things of the sort. It almost makes me wish that home owner associations existed outside of apartment, condo, townhouse and planned communities and in regular residential areas. Oh well. It sucks, but what can you do other than scowl, mutter to yourself about the scum next door not caring about their home and hope you never hafta go outside with a rifle and tell someone to get off your lawn. ::Insert awkward chuckle here::
Monday, November 2, 2009
Celebrity Halloweens?
Maybe I don't pay enough attention to the news or anything, but I was wondering what kids of celebrities or people in high status situations do for Halloween. Do they dress up and go trick or treating door-to-door or do they go to the mall or some boring party with their parents or just do nothing at all? I wonder if these kids are allowed to live normal lives and be children or if they have an adjusted lifestyle because of their parents? Like what did the Obama girls do for Halloween? I only wonder about this after my friend Evan sent me a picture of Brad Pitt dressed as DJ Lance Rock. What the heck did they do? Trick or treat? Or at some publicity thing? Or do celebrities just have some big celebrity party and bring their kids along in costumes. I dunno. It's a new curiosity I have.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Trick or Treat!!!
I'd like to take a minute or two to mention how much I seriously miss trick or treating. You see, when you get to be a certain age, it suddenly becomes uncool to dress up in a costume and go door to door asking for candy. Instead, it's more cool to pull pranks or go to parties or just sit at home and do nothing at all. Even though deep down, you still want to go door to door and ask for candy. And if you did, a lot of people usually just look at your size and do the, "Aren't you a little old for this?" thing. Fortunately, life redeems itself once you have kids. You can use the excuse you're taking them out. I mean, really, is a one year old really going to eat two buckets of candy? Probably not. You know it's just for the parents. Of course then you get some people who actually will consider the kid's ages and ask what it's ok for them to eat and at that point I say anything. Last night after divvying up the goods, I wound up with 2 buckets full of candy. Seriously it was amazing. We were oh-so-close to running out of candy at our house but we didn't. Someone handed out Halloween Play-Doh. I can't wait to play with that today with Charlie! Other than that, it was fun. I was happy to dress up and go out and get candy. I seriously miss trick or treating. I miss seeing kids running door to door in costume excited about candy. I miss seeing all the decorated houses. I miss people enjoying seeing costumes. I've spent so many of the last few years doing candy duty that I completely miss being on the other side of the door. And after last night, to be back on the streets, it was a good thing. I'm still giddy and on a sugar high. I love it. Up next: Thanksgiving! Woo! Holiday fun, here I come!
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