Sunday, January 29, 2006


So it's flippin amazing that two separate people who don't know each other both said the same things about me: I like to "talk smack" or "about people I hate" and if stranded on an island I'd bring a "gun". Wow. I hope more people answer my thingie so I can see what else everyone thinks!!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A cute story about The Herp

So I'm totally a bad snake mom this week, neglecting my snake child. I forgot to feed him on Sunday, but that's ok. I forgot to do a lot of things Sunday. Anyway, I convinced myself to get his fuzzies at lunch and forgot on Monday. Then when I was half way home I remembered, so I just went to Quality and got him two live fuzzies. They were totally cute. They were these little black baby mice. I dropped one in for him to chow down on while I pet the other (a point Lori was disturbed by. She didn't know how I could sit and pet something I would be sentencing to death via snake in a matter of minutes. I don't see what her point is. It's just a fuzzy thing and I love fuzzy things and I gotta provide for my baby, so yea.) Anyway PETA-tics aside, The Herp is totally stupid with killing and slow, fortunately he has a equally stupid dinner piece. Half way while he's attempting to kill the fuzzie, I put the other one in his feeding container to avoid Baby Girl's attempts of playing or maybe even eating it and I leave the room to get a DrPepper. When I return, that dumb snake is over there wrapped around the one snake with the back half of his body and now starting to kill the other one with the front half of his body. I yelled at him "YOU CAN'T KILL THE OTHER ONE UNTIL YOU FINISH EATING THE FIRST ONE YOU IDIOT!!!" Strangely enough, he finishes killing both and then wolfs down the one, followed by the other. My silly little guy! Today we were snuggling and watching King of the Hill. Then he pooped on me. Oh that Herp!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The News

I've found myself being like my parents. I am watching the news on several occasions throughout the day. I watched it earlier today when all that football crap was on. Then I watched Dateline. Then I caught the Fox 11 news at 10. Now I'm watching ABC news at 11? Geez. IT's all the same news. Why???

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Best F'n day EVER!!! *a vomit story*

So my boss bought this allegedly hot ass hot sauce for Javi. Javi said it tasted bad and didn't like it. So at lunch today we're all hanging out back and my boss tells Javi to get the sauce and let people taste it and my boss tastes it and doesn't really seem to be responding to it too well. Javi was making some sorta comment about what if someone ate a tablespoon of it and then he said he'd pay someone $20 to eat it. I said I'd do it. Brought back my glory days of high school eating weird food concoctions on the quad for money. So everyone was looking at me like no way will this happen. And there was a brief moment of like hot hot hot hot hot. Then I made Javi get me my $20. Fuck yea!!! I start chuggin water by the glass and DrPepper and eating ranch dressing to try and neutralize the burning. All the while Ken keeps telling me "I told you not to do it!!!" Then the fun begins... After that, I start eating bread and feeling pain burning near my heart and my sinuses are like explosively open. My mouth and throat are on fire. It's like every vessel in my body is popping off at once and others are going off behind them. I go to the trash can and open the lid because I know I'm going to vomit. I puke. A new burning sensation comes into my nose and eyes. My eyes swell up in pain as the burning in my nose goes through my sinuses and starts causing clumps and clumps of snot to errupt. More vomit comes out in liquid spirts followed by more rounds of vomit. Bodily fluids are everywhere. I start to vomit my food. Lunch. Dinner. Everything comes out. I start to bleed from my mouth and nose. I'm not sure where the blood is coming from but the burning is so emense I don't even pay attention to where the blood is coming from, just how I can stop it. After about 20 or 30 minutes of barfing and snoting and bleeding and 5 minutes of my eyes being so swollen in pain I can't even open them, everything starts to suddenly fade away. I take a wet cloth to my eyes to cool them off and wipe away the tears that started dripping when all my orifciaces were being flushed out. Then I blow my nose a few final times only to find pieces of french fries coming out!!! After that I gargle and spit a few times and chug some more water. It was the best fucking day at work ever!!! Everyone was laughing, including myself!!!! Plus I made $20. In the end, I looked like someone socked me in the eyes. My blood vessels around my eyes are like little red freckles. Under my eye lids are more little broken vessels. There are areas turning purple from the internal bleeding and I had a really bad headache from some of it above my right eye. It was rad. Everyone says I look like shit now like I'm hung over or something, but it's all good. Har har to everyone who says I'm stupid for doing that. Whatever that's my drinking money for the night!!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Happy birthday earthquake

Life is totally unpredictable. Who ever saw it coming that morning 12 years ago at 4:31 the ground would shake and destroy half of the valley. No one saw it coming. Sometimes life throws a curveball. I feel like my life has been hit by an earthquake once again.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

some sort of break down

i feel really bad cos i didnt go to church on christmas. i havent been to church in months. i feel horrible when i go to church like god is punishing me for something and its not a physical pain but a mental torture so unbearable it makes my soul cringe. pure catholic guilt is unbearable. when i go to confession i feel like im going to vomit and after that i am happy as if my sole has been wiped clean and i can die free of sin. i suppose part of my troubles is also a spiritual agony i fear the easter season cos my easter duties are due. i know i've done horrible things. i fear my punishment and how the father will perceive me. i hate myself for angering God and yet not doing anything to fix it. i don't know what to do anymore.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Why is it that...

Whenever you see the coolest shit you never have money? Perfect examples include the time I was at borders looking for something for someone and I saw a hardback copy of Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark compilation of all 3 volumes. I dunno if any of you guys remember them, but they were like THE coolest books to get at the library in elementary school. Not so much because they were just the all around coolest compilation of folk lore and stories told time and time again, but does anyone remember those totally creepy ass illustrations they had? Those were the best books ever. Reminiscing... I remember in 3rd grade my teacher had checked one out and was reading a story to the class about a girl named Jenny who wore a green ribbon around her neck every day. Then one day her husband asked her why she wore it and she said he could never remove it. So one day he removed it and her head fell off. The next day I came to class with a green ribbon tied around my neck because that's the kinda person I was and still am. Ha ha ha. Sigh... good times. I miss elementary school...but only sometimes.

Sunday, January 8, 2006

Oh yeah...

I think when I'm 30 I'm gonna leave California to live somewhere else for a few years....

Friday, January 6, 2006

Fortune Cookie

i got this mean fortune cookie that said "Rome was not built in a day. Be patient." this makes me mad. i get fortune cookies for an uplifting message telling me how great and smart i am and it insults me with this hatred? i would like to write to the manufacturer of these cookies in los angeles and tell them that their message did not make me feel very happy. stupid fortune cookie.

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Miners' Threats

Miners are highly under-rated. Now days no one talks about them with the exception of the mine collapsing that has been a huge story on the news, but this stuff happend all the time years ago to little or no importance. So on that note, I tell you a tale of the Mammoth Mine.

Once upon a time in the late 1800s, there was a mine located not too far from the Superstition Mountains on the outskirts of Phoenix, Arizona. When it was first discovered that there was a goldmine lying below the grounds, the town of Goldfield was established. There were a few buildings which included some saloons, a whore house, and a church. It took hours to get gold from Goldfield to Phoenix and this had to be done during the heat of the day in the desert to avoid attacks from indians. But enough of the outside threats! Let's get down to the mine!

Being a miner was one of the best paying jobs at the time. Most people made like 30 cents a day. Miners could make anywhere between 1 to 3 dollars a day. Mine Bosses would hire maybe 10 - 30 new people each day due to the high death rate of a miner. In Goldfield, miners went down in a 9 man elevator. 7 men would cram into a telephone booth sized space and 2 men would stand on top to lower the elevator down. Sometimes, people would get injured but hey, that's just part of the job.

But the real decline of a miners life starts as follows:
You work with explosives. In Goldfield they would clear out large areas of space with the 21 hole layout (4 holes on top, 6 holes below, 1 hole between another layer of 6 holes, and a bottom row of 4 more holes.) To do this you have a guy with a hand drill and a hammer who hits and hits and hits a 6 foot deep hole with a 1" diameter, big enough to shove a stick of dynamite into. Now on average it would take about 8 hours to drill the holes with the original tool which was a little drill with a hand crank but with the hammer, it cut drilling time almost 60%This new advancement also lead to more dust particles in the air, thus causing many miners to start getting those particles inside them. And so the coughing begins...

Now about that dynamite! You go to that 21 hole layout and put a stick of dynamite into the very back of the holes leaving the very center hole open. Reason being when the explosives go off, the rocks around expand and if there's no area for them to expand, they basically break but stay in place. So this allows some area to move as well as ensure the explosives work more effectively. The top rocks are first to be set off then the next rows down and so on to the bottom. The last row of explosions forces the top layers out, making it easier to clean out the junk. Ah, more of that dust...

No one cleared out the mines when areas were blasted out. You could always tell the new miners as they were the ones to cover their ears during a blast. Of course after a few months, you didn't have to do that because by that time you were deaf.

Of course, the greatest job is to the people who clean out the debris. Sometimes the dynamites dont all go off and may occasionally go off while debris gets cleared. So someone might lose a limb or die, either way, this means someone gets a job! Hooray!

Further down the line the men who work with the pick axes work by candle light. Each person got 2 candles a day. However the candles didn't last the full 8 hour shifts. So for good parts of the day miners would be in complete darkness, usually being during lunch breaks, and sometimes during working hours. When they exited the dark mines, the sudden transition into the bright PHoenix sun caused such a strain, most miners wound up going blind. By that time, they were no longer allowed to work and so someone got a new job! Hooray!

Of course the sun played a huge part in things. Unlike the myth of below ground being cooler, it was quite the opposite. Temperatures below ground were 18 degrees hotter than above ground and at times got as high as 136 degrees. Sometimes heat alone was enough to take one's life, but hey! Someone else gets a job! Hooray!

Now fortunately for the gold miners in the desert, they didn't have to worry about the high CO2 levels coal miners of the north worried about, but they had the threats of a mine collapsing. A huge part of this has to do with the geological structure of GOldfield as it lies near old dormant volcanoes of superstition and several fault lines. At any given time, the earth could collapse above hundreds, the biggest fear of a mine boss. Not so much because they were out of employees, because those were a dime a dozen. It was moreso because this mean they had to start all over again digging, exploding, and so on. However, the best friends of the miners were the rats. If you saw rats scurrying to exit the mine in a frenzy, you did the same. They could sense the movement of the earth long before anyone could, giving enough time for miners to exit, and allowing for fewer deaths.

Of course there were also other random causes for deaths. The guy who cleaned the toilets out would sometimes make deals with miners to swallow gold and steal it, cash it, split profits, etc. and if you got caught by the mine boss, guess what. They'd hang you. Which meant someone would get a new job. Hooray!

Now the Goldfield mine is located near an underground river. During one cave in, a miner was stuck in a glory hole for 10 days. He was able to survive by licking the few drops of water that dripped in from the walls from the river and by chewing on his candle stick. By the 10th day people thought he was dead, but when they found his body, by golly, he was still alive and very weak. He managed to get better, which meant he got his job back and one of the suckers in line had to wait for someone else to die. Boo!

The Mammoth Mine can no longer be found because it is now underground below the Mammoth Lake. Yes, that river found its way up. There is still a lot of unclaimed gold within the mine, yet you would need a lot of scuba equipment and balls to go down there and get it.

As for the miners, they don't get too much notoriety in the history books. Most people don't know of the severity of the conditions these guys worked in. However, if you ever get the chance to go into an old mine, surround yourself in pitch black darkness some 30 feet and deeper below ground and imagine doing manual labor in the heat, not to mention cough up blood from so many particles in your lungs, go deaf from the explosives, and blind from the constant darkness then blinding sunlight, well, I guess you'll never know what it was like. So to all the boys who worked the mines and the boys who were injured and died to the mines, I raise my glass of whiskey to you. Cheers!

Sunday, January 1, 2006

Oh the night and rain...

Brings out some really bizarre abstract strange blogs. I can assure you I can draw parallels between totally opposite things. Not sure how that ever came about but I guess its one of my Rainman-esque qualities. It's funny cos there's so many occasions in the day where I point out totally bizarre similarities to things where people see nothing and then go "oh yeah!!!" Fun. One of my strangest qualities is my ability to, while not being a math person, almost be able to point out averages between random things. Average dates between x and y, age between y and z, time between a and b. Strange separations by colors, sizes, lame stuff normal people don't look for. I can classify personalities by looking at groups of people. Like on new years eve, I was at a party and I could tell what each group of people were like. The drinkers, the heavy drinkers, the pot smokers, the sophisticated drinkers, etc. etc. Classifications of various degrees of alcoholics and alcoholics in the making. God I love people. I need to go to the dog park and see the bizarre groups of animal freaks there. Yay for today its 2:15 my birthday will be in 1 month and 13 days. blegh.

guns and lemons

Sometimes life throws you a lemon and you throw the lemon at someone else. But it's like if you shoot someone who's trying to break into your house. You gotta make sure if you do it, you're not gonna hurt them but kill them. Otherwise you're screwed. So you take that lemon and throw that shit as hard as you can. Fuck. I've been listening to this song like over and over. I put it on my profile. Anyway, back to shooting people who come into your home. Apparently the law protects criminals. So if you try to protect yourself from getting hurt and stop the person in their tracks before they hurt you, you wind up getting screwed. So you gotta obliterate them completely or allow them to enter your house and remain helpless until a third party can come in and by that time it's too late. The damage is done. So what the fuck do you do with lemons? Obviously you're not gonna be able to kill someone with a lemon. So you get thrown a lemon. So what the hell do you do with that lemon? If you keep it, it'll go bad. If you make lemonade, sure it's good for a while but then you have nothing. Then what? Wait for another lemon? Keep relying on lemons to be thrown at you forever to constantly be supplied with lemonade? Sure, its probably a lot easier to just take the lemon and throw it back from the direction which it came, but then there's a lemon that has gone to waste. It will rot off in the distance somewhere, maybe get picked up by a possum and be torn apart for everything that it has only to be dumped in some random garden. The lemon, while a simple thing, is full of such complex purposes and is truly one of the best things to have as it has so many uses, however, as a weapon, it fails. So I say, if you are going to keep people out of your house, use the gun or welcome them wearily. Better to protect yourself from the world than to have to rely on a lemon. However, should you get a lemon, it could be more useful than a gun...