Monday, April 30, 2007

Pug Happens

For the last month I had been trying to get a pug from this lady in Lancaster. She kept giving me the runaround and I wound up finding Lulu. She was a 7.5 month old pug who was moved from one house to be the friend of a year old pug. However when she was moved, the pugs didn't get along well so her owner had to get rid of her. I found her ad after a disappointing call with the Lancaster lady and much to my luck got a call back the next day! When I went to meet Lulu, she was not very fond of me at all. She barked, her hair on her back raised, and she would run away. She would jump out of my arms when I tried to hold her. But I had this weird feeling that we were meant to be so I gave her owner the money and put a lead on Lulu to take her home. Once I put the lead on things changed. She knew I was going to be her new mommy. The car ride home from Arcadia started out rather somber as Lulu cried because she was leaving her old mommy to live with a new one. But later, she got comfy and started snort-snoring on my lap. We took her to Petco to get some little things for her and then took her to see Lori and Izzy. Now she is in her new home for the next 5 weeks till we move. She's pretty comfy here I think. But, fyi, we get along just fine now thanks! She sits by my feet while I'm on the computer even! Myspace is sucking right now and won't let me upload pics of her, so here she is!!! Mein little booger Lulu!!!

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Pug Crazy!!!

I've been waiting all weekend to get my pug but the darn people selling him aren't home yet! I keep calling every half hour to hour and this old man who is house sitting for them keeps answering and I think he's getting frustrated with me calling so often by this point. I just want them to get home so I can get my pug already dammit!!!

Thursday, April 26, 2007


A long time ago, Jesse asked me how I felt about moving to Reno when he graduates. I wasn't too sure what I thought about it at the time. Then in November when I visited him at school for the first time and we left the airport and drove through town, I started thinking, "you know it might not be such a bad idea to move here one day..." Then back in March, when the idea was nothing more than a pipe dream, I started to think, "it might be good to move to Reno to be closer to Jesse." Shortly after, I started to talk to Jesse about how he felt and he thought it was a good idea. I weighed out the pro's and con's and eventually came to the decision Reno was the right decision. I told my boss I was thinking about leaving. He wanted to know for sure this was something I wanted because they would have to find another employee to replace me. I assured him this was what I wanted to do and planned on leaving no later than September 1st. Jesse and I applied for an apartment. We got accepted. The reality of everything starts to sink in: this is really happening. Jesse and I have an apartment. We're moving to Reno! It is so crazy how fast this is all happening. Especially since my dad kept asking me how I plan on doing any of this cos I don't have a job or a place to live there etc. So yes, my friends, I am moving to Reno. Hooray! We shall do something before I go for sure, but, yes. June 1st will be my last night in California. I hope to see you all before then...

Sunday, April 22, 2007


I've done so much goddamn driving this weekend and I am totally beat!!! Friday morning I left late at 4:30 am. Got to Sacramento by 10ish. Had breakfast. Made it to Reno by 1:45. Perfect timing. Did some stuff there for an hour and a half. Got to Susanville by 5. Checked in, met up with Jesse. Went with his party posse to the cut out for a bbq. Stayed there for a while. Went back to the hotel with Jesse. Took a shower and then laid in the bath for a bit. Laid in bed around 10ish and fell asleep, Jesse stayed up later. Woke up around 10:30 barely checked out in time. Had breakfast with Jesse and went back to the dorms so Jesse could fill out his apartment application. After that, went home around 1. Stopped off in Reno to check out the apartment area. Nice neighborhood. Went to the Peppermill and won $32 playing video poker. Headed home. Stopped off at a Taco Bell in the boonies. Rained forever. Snowed on the Donner Pass. That was cute. Stopped off at a Shell for tea and tampons. Came out and car was covered in snow. Left. After out of the pass, it rained heavily and didn't stop till Bakersfield. Hit traffic in Sacramento, some sort of bad accident. Set me back and hour and a half. Didn't get home till 12:30 am. Waited half an hour and left for San Diego. Didn't get there till 4 am. Didn't sleep in my bed all weekend, spent the nights in hotels. First night since Thursday I'll be sleeping in my bed again. [Looks over at it] Yea, i miss it. Bought me and Jesse new fishing rods and reels for when we live in Reno so we can go fishing hah. Won some lures for my dad. Ate a lot of crap. Tired. Very very tired. So very tired. Looking forward to sleep. Gonna sleep tomorrow when I get home from work. It'll be good. No more driving! Not for today anyway.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I'm the bomb.

Today me, Lori and Carly were at Starbucks and some "officers" came in to get coffee. At first I thought they were cops but then Lori pointed out they were the bomb squad. Carly was like "Is there a bomb at Starbucks or something?" and as if cued, I replied, "Yeah, there's a bomb. Me. I'm the bomb." Cue foghorn. Wooo-wooohhhh... Yea total dud, it was funny then though when I said it.

Thursday, April 12, 2007


Tonight I watched teevee for the first time at home in months. I haven't really been keeping up to date with my regular shows. I sorta watched teevee when I was up with Jesse, but that was out of my regular routine. I caught a bit of My Name is Earl. I don't watch that show. My parents regularly watch it. I caught it while eating. It was pretty funny, so I continued to watch it after I retreated to my room. After that I switched over to ABC to watch Ugly Betty but it was some special about the show. As was Grey's Anatomy. I guess they must be filming new episodes or something cos they make it look like next week will be all new. I then caught Notes From The Underbelly. It's a new show and it premiered tonight. I thought it was gonna be some lame ass being pregnant drama but it was actually really funny. It pokes fun of pregnant people and the process. The best part of the show was when the main character who is newly pregnant went to her half way pregnant friend's house with her other friend who is a divorce attourney and totally anti-marriage-babies. anyway the pregnant friend is married to an indian guy (india indian not waggon burner) anyway they had this baby wrap holder thing and the friend tells the main character to practice putting the baby in the wrap and she grabs this indian doll (savage indian) and was like "what's with pocahantis?" and her preggo friend is like "oh eric wanted an indian doll but they sent us this. stupid internet." lol then like after a failed attempt of wrapping the baby the husband comes in and is like "i want to practice diaper changing" and he gets the doll and looks at it and mutters "stupid internet" and walks out. lol. i thought that was pretty damned funny cos i've been a victim of misleading internet purchases... it sucks. i was able to relate lol.anyway it's a pretty funny show with a lot of potential. i do believe if i am watching teevee next week i will check it out again...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Cleaning Pt. 2

Today I cleaned more. Or shall I say I trashed more. The black trash can out front is full with my old memories. The closest I can compare todays cleaning to is to grieving. It was painful, hard, full of memories, and I knew it was time to let go. Even though I wanted to hold back on so many things, I had to do what I had to do. I feel like doing this will push me closer to Reno, but there is still the inevitable quest of finding work and a place to live first. I suppose my steps or priorities are all out of line? I was going to sell my stuff and have a big moving sale to make money but I realized the stuff I thought would be worth something is nothing more than random trash I've been holding onto for years because of sentimental reasons. Grieving period is over. It is time to move on...

Monday, April 9, 2007

Ich liebe Mein Booger!!!

I can't say I have ever felt so loved or loved someone as much as I love Mein Jesse!!!

I think about Mein Boogs day and night at random moments, even while peeing.

This months Guns & Ammo is all about the AR and it reminds me of his AR-15 the first rifle I ever shot, the one he taught me to shoot with.

I threw away so many things in my room because I know when I move up with him we will get new things that will be our stuff, shared.

I lie away at night hugging Ray Ray imagining what life will be like once we are together in Reno.

I constantly look at pictures of him because I love to see his beautiful face.

I long to be held and kissed by him again.

I know the next time I see him, I won't have to leave him.

I keep pictures of him within view on my computer at home and on the walls of my office because he inspires me.

I miss him greeting me when he comes home from work and saying goodbye when he leaves.

I enjoy the silent companionship we have at times, where we just lie in bed by one another watching tv or doing our own things, but knowing that the other is there within reach.

I love his well defined facial features and collar bone and his soft skin and smooth back.

I love to touch him and pet him and feel him.

I want to cook and sew and do domestic things for Jesse.

I look forward to coming home from work to Mein Boogs.

I look forward to going to sleep next to Mein Boogs.

I sit up waiting for him to call just so I can hear his voice.

There is something special about sharing a toothbrush.

I could lay in bed all day and watch him sleep.

I want to spend forever and a day with Mein Jesse Booger.


Tonight I started throwing everything away so that when the time comes, it doesn't seem a shock to me.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Myspace ads...

So I always have random ads in the upper right hand corner of my myspace and I see this one today:

I guess it bothers me because it says "wanna hook up a hottie?" or something of the likes yet they show a Greg Brady lookin fucker with a surfboard. Maybe somewhere in this fucked up emo scene the Brady Boys look cute or something, I dunno. I don't get it. I just feel like I'm missing out on something here, or like I'm not getting something? Sigh. Pathetic.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Susanville Redux

Well, this morning I got home from my second trip to Susanville roughly around 4 am and went to work after some 3.5 hours of sleep. Despite the various halucinations I had from lack of sleep on the way home, the trip was purely wonderful. I had such a great time with Mein Jesse Booger. He looked very handsome and healthy and taken care of when I saw him and was just as snuggly as I remembered him to be. We spent 4 nights together in a hotel on a very comfy queen bed with a fluffy cloud down comforter and one night like old times in his twin bed back at the dorms. I was so happy to be up there with him again, I miss him so much and I miss him more now that I am gone again! Although I am happy because I know I will be seeing him again regardless in 5 months when I move to Reno, or earlier if I need to go up for job interviews.

Anyway I don't know where to begin on the fun. There was so much of it so I guess I'll just line list highlights and lowlights in no particular order:

- Dicking around in gunsmithing school. Repetitively hearing Swingin' playing and everyone singing along to it even though they were pissed off that it was playing for the umpteenth time. Giving Jesse's instructors ideas on how to make gun re-assembly difficult for him.

- Abusing the song Tell Me When To Go and playing it a lot and drawing lines from the song on Hoss's dry-erase board. Shake them dreads... Gas break dip... Ghostride the whip... Let me see that grill... *Tangent: Someone needs to add Put your stunna shades on*

- Roller skating in the dorms while Jesse was longboarding and crashing into each other. Meeting new people and greeting the old ones. Joking around and picking on one another. Desktop changing secret attacks.

- Excessive amounts of poor quality cable movies. Snuggling up watching movies and tv. Snuggling. Watching Maury Povich and laughing our asses off at the obese kids and the parents who refuse to cut off the food supply.

- Failed attempts at hunting rock chucks. Shooting the shit out of the abandoned car. Trying to tip over the abandoned car. Rummaging through the abandoned car. Throwing rocks at the abandoned car. Pretty much further destroying the abandoned car. Hiding from cars that would pass down the road in our camouflage. Wandering up mountain sides with guns in hand. Shooting at critters.

- Sitting in the shower with Jesse spitting water at each other for what seemed like a frighteningly long time and laughing hysterically the whole time. Being simple creatures enjoying simplicities of life. Bathing Jesse. Washing Jesse's mohawk. Lathering, rinsing, repeating.

- Sleeping with Jesse. Being held all night long. Waking up with Jesse's face next to mine. Watching Jesse sleep. Petting Jesse while he slept. Fiddling with his mohawk. Nuzzling noses. Biting lips. Random kisses on the forehead. Slapping asses. Sex at odd hours. Sex with socks on. Sex with nothing on. Sex on top, in front, behind. Rough sex. Sweet gentle loving sex. Sex till you're sore. Random quickies.

- Off roading at the cutout. Practicing drive by skills. Shooting from cars at mountain sides. Hanging out of windows of cars shooting at mountain sides. Kicking up dirt. Causing a ruckus. Doing no good and doing a good job of it. Rapid fire. Executing beer bottles. Blasting the shit out of squeaky toys with a shotgun. Random ammo strewn about the car. Metal and guns. Shooting in the rain till your fingertips become numb.

- Hugs and lots of hugs. Being close to Jesse. Walking arm in arm. Hand in hand. Side by side. Guiding his blind side. Being his right eye again. Seeing cheap wine in used food store. Making corn dogs and watching cheezy cholo movies at the dorms. Watching Jesse eat and wonder why he doesn't get fat yet I have one corn dog and I'm gianormous. Playful candy warfare.

- Sharing a bed. Having Jesse as the first thing I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. Jesse rubbing my back when I got sick. Jesse making me soup and green tea when I got sick. Jesse bringing me Ray Ray and my jammies so I could be comfortable and then tucking me in to bed when I got sick. Bringing me medicine and making me drink it so I would get better. Jesse taking care of me and just being sweet and caring and an all around wonderful boyfriend reminding me why I make so many sacrifices for him.

- Walking around Susnaville. Driving around Susanville. Antinquing with Jesse. Dining with Jesse. Making fun of yuppie moms and dipshit kids sitting out front of the ice cream parlor drinking smoothies. Learning Jesse has a profound love of meatball sandwiches with provalone. Eating pizza in bed. Getting diarrhea and Jesse noticing it smelled bad when he got back from work. Jesse leaving me his keys so I could get orange juice and ice cream. Waiting for Jesse to get home from work. Smiling when I would hear his truck pull up to the hotel or his keys opening the doors.

- Jesse's sweet sweet kisses. Half asleep kisses in the morning. Kisses when I was asleep and he didn't think I'd notice when he went to bed. Goodbye I'm off to work kisses. Deep and passionate kisses during sex. Random pecks for no apparent reason. Sniper kisses.

- Caresses and gentle touches. Running hands through hair. Checking for fevers. Holding and being held. Sharing blankets. Doubling up blankets for me when I was fevering and holding me close to keep me warm when I had the chills. Compassion towards one another from those who lack compassion for fellow men and women.

- Damning the Susanville Police department for busting a u-turn and giving me a speeding ticket. Talking about how cops suck. Laughing at the fact they didn't search my car with random rounds of ammo and brass strewn about the car. The mauser brass that stayed on the windshield wiper and how Jesse didn't turn on the wipers when it rained so it would stay there. The way it stayed there all the way home. The way I am leaving it there till it falls off or someone steals it as a memory of our good times.

- Check point calls at late hours to make sure I was safe on the way home. Telling me to call when I got home no matter how late so he would know I made it. Both feeling alone after spending 5 nights together in the same beds and then suddenly cut off to sleep solo again. No longer having each other to come home to after a long day. Knowing months will pass by before we see each other again but feelings of hope knowing that once we see each other next, it will be forever.