Friday, July 27, 2007

SPINAL TAP!!!!!!!!

Ok, I have to take a minute here to pause in bewilderment...

I listen to the 80's metal channel on iTunes whilst at work. Usually they play good stuff but once in a while they throw out a doozie. Right now they're straight up playing SPINAL TAP .... Big Bottoms. AHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!


Thursday, July 26, 2007


I was debating having breakfast this morning because I am up early enough to do so. However, yesterday was the first time in God knows how long that I have had breakfast and quite frankly it reminded me why I don't. Let's just say I had frosted mini wheats. Jesse told me it was a big fat bowl of nothing but fiber and sugar. Good point. It left me with a gnarly stomach ache and I made a boom. Ok, I'm going to get ready for work now, minus breakfast...

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

***** UPDATE: Action, Reno! *****

So tonight around maybe 9:00 the tweakers start arguing. I hear some random yelling and thumping and Jesse's on the computer and we're trying to figure out what's going on and so we turn off all the lights, fans, tv, etc. and sit by the kitchen window listening eagerly. Crazy lady winds up going out with some fat bitch. When she leaves the tweakers really go to town arguing. They're throwing and kicking shit and yelling about stealing shit or something. Then the tweaker lady gets blankets and shit and puts them in the back of their beat up ass truck and we start laughing thinking she's going to sleep in the truck, but then shes goes on about going to her parents and can't call her parents. Then the tweaker dude gets in the truck and I swear to God, tweaker lady spent like well over 15 minutes telling him "GET OUT OF MY TRUCK!!!" then she starts grunting and trying to push him out of it and he's bitching about needing it for work and stuff. Then he finally gets out and she leaves and drives around the block and comes back. Then they argue more and I see at the end of the block two cars pull over and a shitload of people get out. They're like these cholo types and their bitches and then they start fighting like hardcore gang fighting and all, pounding the shit out of each other and like one dude gets a tire iron out and starts wailing on some dude and then like one guy gets in the car and leaves and another guy gets in the other car and follows. By this point, Jesse decides to call the cops. Apparently other neighbors called the cops too. Like within seconds of the car leaving, the cops show up. Then another cop. And another. And another. Eventually there's like 10 cop cars, a ghetto bird, and this must have scared the tweakers cos the lady was like all whispering to the tweaker guy to "GET IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!" yeah. Anyway I'm not really 100% what the outcome of things is/was. The cops eventually left. Crazy lady came home and the tweakers were talking to her. THen they go down to see what happened and talk to other neighbors. Then they all come back and are all talking about Crazy lady spending so much at dinner and whatever. They eventually go back inside like a few minutes ago, argue momentarily and have finally shut up. Tonight was an action packed night, fo' sho'!!! What's better, I left Jesse a picture comment of "GET OUT OF MY TRUCK!" and he did the same thing but like in text form !!!! Great minds think alike!!! ahahahah....

Monday, July 23, 2007


I have this tendency to constantly put myself down by comparing other people's accomplishments to my own and lack there-of. I suppose I haven't done things others have done. I haven't finished my degree, yet I have a great job with great people and lots of perks. I haven't got married, but I live with a man whom I love more than anything else in the world who loves me back. I haven't had kid, but I have a pug-child who is more independent and loves me just the same. I don't own a house, yet I have a cozy apartment with cheap rent and don't pay taxes. I don't have a brand new car, but I also don't have a monthly car payment. So, all in all, my life, while not having accomplished the so-called great things to aspire to or do, is in my mind just as good none the less.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Cleaning house

This morning I was looking over my old blogs. I have a lot of them. Had anyway. Like 400+ blogs. I went through each and every one of them to delete any old memories of dipshit that might have been on there with the exception of one blog which was written when I was still with him about how pissed off I was wanting him to change certain aspects of his life and it only points out how pathetic he is and I enjoyed reading it cos it made me laugh at how lame he is. So I left that one up just as a reminder that he is a douchebag. And then of course the post-break up blogs about what a douchebag he was. I feel everyone in the world needs to know what a dipshit he is. The end.

Life Lessons Learned

Bad things happen to good people because they allow them to happen. If you are under the mind frame bad things will happen, you will allow bad things to happen to you. If you believe good things will happen, they do. Your attitude directly affects the outcome of your life. Bad people never suffer consequences because they believe they are untouchable, hence they are. Good people view themselves as potential victims, thus setting themselves up to be ones. People with guns are less likely to be victims as they feel a sense of safety, thus they are protected. People who believe they are hot get attention as it is reflected in their personalities just as people who believe they are ugly get ignored. Allowing negativity in your life allows you to become a more unhappy person as is removing those said bad aspects increases one's happiness.

That's all I have to say about that. I'm going to do laundry now.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Tweakers downstairs ****CONFIRMED****

Yesterday Jesse told me when I got home the people downstairs are confirmed tweakers due to their odd behavior. He was helping crazy lady with some shit and I guess the guy downstairs empties storage bins for work. He brings home all this crazy random crap that only a tweaker obsessed with salvaging and organizing and whatever would be into like a giant beach umbrella, some dirty tarps, other crap that no one would be interested in but this fucker's gotta have.... Anyway yea, Jesse has confirmed they are indeed tweakers.

Thank you Hoss for getting my dog drunk

You are a genius. Now my dog has a hangover. hahahah.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Cleaning is counter feminist

I can't understand women who choose to wallow in their own filth because the thought of doing general housework is considered counter feminist. I could maybe understand them feeling that way if a man were making them clean a house, but to just choose not to do your own housework and live in a pig sty is completely unacceptable. Yet these same women are the ones who need to put on facades as they go out into the world so everyone sees how pretty they are but don't see the filthy lives they live... The best part is they spend all their money on new clothes instead of washing the ones they have and then bitch and moan wondering why they don't have any money. They let dishes pile up in their kitchens and eat out so they don't need to make more mess than they already have. Their dishes and counter tops mold and they whine about the stench of rot in their homes. They take pride in the fact they don't do housework. They blame it on them being busy with work or school, to which I say bullshit. I work. I still find time to fix the bed, wash the dishes, do laundry, wash the floors, vacuum, and make dinner and pack lunches for the next day. Instead these women would rather go out with their friends and party instead of taking responsibility for domestic duties. To them, being clean is man's way of oppressing them from going out and having fun. If you ask me it's just a cop out. They're lazy and irresponsible and juvenile and immature. They would rather have someone else pick up after them. They're probably the same types who had mommy's picking up after them and taking care of them when they were at home. Or who had working mothers who didn't give a shit about what they did or how messy things were and who set an equally bad example for their daughters. All I'm saying is it's a lame excuse. Being clean doesn't mean you're any less of a woman. In fact it means you're an ultimate woman. You can work AND tackle your domestic duties. As for the self proclaimed feminist slobs who brag about their filthy lives, they are truly lazy and use feminism as an excuse to hide the fact. Pathetic.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Wacky weather

The last few weeks have been really hot. Unbearably hot. Especially with no ac. Then we start going to work again and get the joys of being in air conditioning all day only to realize when we come home, it has grown noticeably cooler than it's been when we first got up here. Today when I got home it was actually kinda COLD and windy. It said it was 72 degrees but it feels like it's in the 60's. I had to wear a coat, not a jacket or sweater but a coat, when I took the pug child on her walk this evening. All our windows are suddenly shut after spending the last month and a half wide open. I'm kinda chilly right now. And dizzy. I've been especially dizzy since coming out here, maybe it's the altitude. Anyway it's some weird weather. I dig it. I enjoy the variety.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Fire in the Reno! Fire in the Taco Bell!

For the past few weeks there's been fires galore out here. One fire goes out another one starts up. Apparently a large part of the Tahoe area got f'd up by the Angora fire. Now there's two other fires. This one is really bad. The smoke is thick and the sky looks like the sky in back home in LA. hahaha. You can feel the smoke though when you breathe. I feel bad for the pug dog cos she must be having a horrible time breathing. I'm getting dizzy from the smoke. Here's a pic from outside our window. It's the sun hidden by smoke. It looks badass though. Ok that's my two cents. I gotta get dinner started soon cos Jesse get off at 6. Damn Mexicans better turn their music down. I'm trying to type in peace and watch tv in the background...

Sunday, July 15, 2007


I feel like all I ever do is clean up after everyone and no one appreciates it. This morning I wake up to dog shit all over the bedroom and living room. I guess that's what I get for changing Lulu's food on her. I feel I deserve a present or something for all my hard work. This is bullshit. :(

pent up frustrations

i feel really really super shitty. for starters, i haven't had sex in at least a week. maybe longer. i don't remember the last time i had sex and quite frankly, seeing as i live with the person i fuck, and to not be able to remember the last time we did said acts, well that's quite frankly not a good thing. there's this talk show on the oxygen network with this creepy ass old canadian lady who talks about sex and sex toys and all this shit and we saw it last week. she was talking about g-spot orgasms and jesse said we gotta try that. i was down. and today i saw her website and was reading about it and got all freaked out about reading about what happens. have any of you girls ever had one? can i get some insight on this? it sounds messy and humiliating but is it really that worth it? like she says all this shit about to do it if you're comfortable in the relationship and with your body etc. etc. and i'm comfortable in the relationship but definately not with my body. is this something like i'd do it and have an amazing orgasm and then run to the bathroom in tears or something for weird ass psychological fears of feeling repulsive??? help... then today i've been having all sorts of sexual frustrations. i've had my period the last week. on top of it all i think i have a yeast infection. i read online that yeast infections can sometimes be wiped out by period blood. i'm waiting to see if this is true. if not, i need to wait till friday when jesse gets paid till we have money and i can get some monistat or something and even still, this means my fucking vag is potentially out of commission for another 2 weeks. so i'm living with the man of my dreams who i am head over heels in love with. i can't fuck him. i can't fuck myself. my fucking vagina feels like it's bleeding fire. it's a horrible feeling and on top of it all i'm hornier than i can't think of a metaphor for something with a lot of horns right now, sue me. i just want to have sex. on top of it all i'm getting fucking sick from not having sex. my eyes get sever pressure behind them and hurt like hell at random moments. my head has been killing me all day. then i barfed right after dinner. to make matters worse, i almost started to cry while barfing because i feel like everything that could go wrong with my body is going wrong. i'm fat, yeasty, barfy, in pain, and i'm not getting laid on top of it all. i feel like i look like shit and thus i feel like shit. i am absolutely miserable with my physical state and i feel hopeless. its bad. its like i feel a serious depression spell arising from this somewhere down the line if things don't straighten up. and quite frankly that's a road i do not want to travel down. not now. i just got past that slump. i have too much shit going on right now to deal with that kinda crap. i just feel really really shitty. i feel like sex is the way jesse rewards me or pays homage or just shows his appreciation, however the fuck you want to put it, for all the things i do for him throughout the day like fixing the bed, making his lunches and dinners, cleaning the house, washing the dishes and all the crap i absolutely hate doing but do because it's my womanly duties. and sex is my reward. and i havent been rewarded since i don't remember. i feel unappreciated and overworked and just stressed out. just because i'm not on my feet all day and i work from a computer my life is somehow supposed to be easier? from the minute i leave the office the wheels in my head start spinning as to how i can be innovative and somehow assemble dinner from what little bits and pieces of food we have. i refuse to let jesse eat french toast for dinner and i manage to formulated a reasonable dinner of chili cheese burgers and i sit there and cook it up and clean it up and even pack him the leftovers for his lunch the next day while i eat leftovers from two or three nights before. and yet he still goes and makes his fucking french toast and i get stuck with doing the dishes. he gets syrup on the bed. (i'm laughing as i just read myself typing that last sentence but i was seriously pissed off when that happened. i just didn't show it when it happened.) then the next day he bitches about why the dishes aren't done or something and i'm pretty sure he was joking about it but quite frankly in the state i'm in a joke of that caliber is highly un-funny. i don't like being nagged to make dinner. especially when i know there isn't shit to cook. its like one of those things i'll get to it when i get to it. you're not gonna starve if its late. but yea, back to things. just because i work from an office doesn't mean my job is any less difficult. sure i just started and what not but the thing is i work too. and when jesse comes home from work he kicks back, relaxes, and anticipates me making dinner. i do give him credit for the fact he at least takes lulu out to go to the bathroom. but when i come home from work i don't get to relax. in fact my work starts from the minute i wake up. and it doesn't end till i go to sleep. and even then i think about the next day's jobs at hand. i wake up and fix the bed and straighten up tiny things. sometimes i do dishes that were made the night before that acquired after the dinner dishes were washed. then i go to the office. when i come home, i hafta make dinner. i serve my man, and then wash the dishes. both jesse and myself have two days of not working. on his days off i'm not sure what he'll do. saturday we share off together. he goes online and watches tv. my weekends consist of cleaning the house from top to bottom and once we get money, spending a few hours doing the laundry. in actuality, i work my 40 something hours a week. then i probably work another hour or two in domestic duties each day, not to mention the 4 plus i spend on the weekends. i know it doesn't sound like a lot of extra work but it is. and it takes a toll on me. and to not get my reward of sex for doing these things is pissing me off!!!!!!!! on top of it all i feel like i'd make a damned good wife and i don't understand why i'm not!!!!!!! i know it's stupid and selfish for me to think this but i just get so frustrated when i see stupid controlling bitches who get proposals and they don't even appreciate it and half of them don't even want to be married because it's counter feminist but just agree to it for god knows whatever reasons. i just feel like i'm doing something wrong!!! and it's like it can't be my actions because i do so much so i dont know what the fuck it is!!!! i am just at my wits end here. why isn't that me? why isn't that happening to me? is it because i actually want it? and in that desire i somehow come to not deserve it? what!? i seriously feel unappreciated and undermined in the worst possible way and what's worse is it's not even intentional. it just feel like some sort of apathy towards my feelings. i can't even explain it, it's too much of an abstract thought to be able to explain. i just feel really really really fucking shitty and to hafta ask for some form of affection, to literally hafta ASK, i don't know what to make of things. as stated previously, i'm at my wits end. i feel like i'm gonna snap. just for once in my life i would like it if someone could do something nice for me outside of the norm to at least show some form of gratitude...

esurance vs. Kim Possible???

I have this theory that the person who created the characters for the esurance commercial is the same person who created the characters for Kim Possible?

I used to see Kim Possible when I'd babysit for my old boss so I'm familiar with the cartoon. Teenage girl who does top secret agent crap along with the help of her buddy Ron and his hamster (yea, a hamster, go figure.)

Oddly enough the esurance gal, who also does top secret missions of sorts with the assistance of her dude friend selling insurance has a striking resemblance to Kim.

Anyway, I thought I'd just point that out. Its another one of my weird little life observations...

Domestication: Pro's & Con's

Cooking dinner every night. I enjoy making dinner and serving it. It makes me feel like a provider of sorts.

Trying to figure out what to make for dinner. Not having money means I hafta be creative and I'm not really at Martha Stewart caliber yet. I felt innovative for making chili cheese burgers the other day when Jesse was going to make french toast. He still wound up making french toast later that night...

Washing dishes. I hate washing dishes. I feel like all I ever do is wash the fucking dishes. When I was living at home there were two things I hated more than anything in the world: doing laundry and washing dishes. I get pissed off whenever I make a meal and like an hour or so after I make it Jesse gets a hair up his ass for something else and cooks. He says he'll wash the dishes but half the time it takes him too long to get to it and I wind up doing them because I don't like having the dishes sitting in the sink.

Watching tv and movies. We spend a great deal of time in the living room on the couch or in the bedroom watching tv and movies. It's just nice cos whenever we watch tv or whatever, Jesse has this weird thing where he always has to be touching me. I know it sounds weird but I like it. It reminds me of the way Snoopy (our old lab) was. Whenever she'd be in a room with you she'd hafta touch you like she'd sit on your feet or lay by your leg, always touching. Jesse is the same way. He'll either have a hand on me somewhere or lay down on my lap or something. I like it. It's just this really sweet feeling of closeness an security. It makes me happy.

Housework. Everyone gives me shit cos I don't let Jesse do housework. Reason being I am the woman and that's my job. It's 5 minutes a morning and 4 hours a week to do housework. I'm not thrilled to wash the tub and floors, clean the bathroom, clean the kitchen, vacuum, and fix the beds but goddammit, that is my duty as a woman to clean the house and by god I'm gonna do my best job of it. As for Jesse, his duties include cleaning guns and repairs. He's done his share of fixing things around here and I'm not gonna bitch. I just do my housework on Saturday mornings but I may be changing that to Sundays since Jesse works Sundays. Basically people don't do anything in the morning anyway. They sleep in. Since I can't sleep in I just do housework and everything works out just fine.

Night walks. We haven't really been doing the long ones like we used to but we still do go on our night walks. It's nice. I enjoy it greatly. It's like that little time we get to spend together if we don't really get much time to talk throughout the day, we just make up for it on our walks.

Dog duties. I love the pug dog but it sucks with her bathroom schedules. If she doesn't crap in the morning, chances are there's gonna be a present for me when I get home from work at lunch or at the end of the day. It sucks having to take her out early in the morning but it's part of the job. She gets into things and barfs sometimes and I gotta clean that up in the mornings. But she's a good pug-child.

Living with Jesse. Ok, not only do I love this guy to pieces but he totally compliments my domestic behaviors. He is truly easy to live with. He doesn't bitch that I take too long to get dressed in the morning or that he wants to use the shower when I'm going to use it. He is fairly good about putting his dishes up after dinner. Ok, so he leaves toothpicks all over the house. I just get them when I clean up each week or whenever I spot them. He's not all overdemanding like dipshit was insisting everything be done his way when he wants it. He is thankful things get done although he makes suggestions where applicable. I enjoy life with Jesse.

Home alone

Jesse's at work today so I've just kinda been kicking back. Made breakfast. Cleaned house. Took Lulu out for a walk down to the Petting Place and picked up some more canned food for her. Walked home with a case of dog food. Granted it's not much of a chore to walk the case from store to car and car to home, but in 90 plus heat walking three blocks from store to stairs to home with dog on leash, it's kinda more than I was planning on. None the less pug dog has food for the next month so that's good. Plus she has a variety cos they didn't have a full case so I got individual cans and she gets potato and duck and fish and potato. Now its back to watching tv and doing nothing till 6. Doot doot doot...

Friday, July 13, 2007

Man vs. Wild vs. Survivorman

Jesse got all pumped cos Surviorman was on. I told him I like Man vs. Wild better. He was like "Why cos he pees on his shirt and drinks it?" and I was like "No, cos he's not Canadian."

As you can see Man vs. Wild's picture is bigger because he's better...

Survivorman's is smaller because he is inferior.

I'd like to see a battle of the most resourceful in nature like a show where they test Man vs. Wild against Survivorman. I wonder if I write Discovery Channel if they'd put the two up against each other in an ultimate battle of survival? Just a thought...


The black people downstairs have fled. They left like I guess a week or two ago and they left all their things when they left. Furniture, food, even the cat. So the property managers have these freak ass trailer trash types cleaning the joint up so the next people can move in. I dunno about those people, the cleaners. They rolled up in this beat up ass truck with bags and cleaning supplies as well as two 2 liters of knock-off Sprite. It's like are they planning on partying or what? Where do they find these weirdos? I'm just curious to see who the new neighbors will be. God help us...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Bitch for the sake of bitching

I get this message today:

"You recently linked to a Casa Bonita image on my server. Please don't do that! Download the image to your own server and use your own bandwidth.

Thank you!

Christina "

Another 30somethin rolling on 40 something pretending to be a 20 something. Bitching for the sake of bitching. I don't care if people link to images on my site. You should be honored. It draws attention to your website. But noooo... she doesn't want people to go to her site. It uses her bandwith. So I think you guys should use her bandwith. Her url is Seriously I doubt it uses that much of her bandwith... None the less, it's the internet and the freeworld. You don't want people using your stuff, don't put it out there for exposure... besides she's acting like she has rights to a fucking southpark image or something. Jeeee-sus.

Reno, Action!!!

Today was my first day at work. It was very good. It's an awesome company and I know I'm going to like it a lot there. But that's not the exciting part. I come home from work today and there's like 2 or 3 cop cars by the school and I was like "Damn, I gotta tell Jesse about this when I get home!" But much to my surprise, I get home and there's like 10 cop cars and motor cycles in front of our apartment and I'm thinking "shit did the black people downstairs go shithouse and come back or something!?" and all our neighbors and Jesse are out front. So I go over. From what I gathered some dude was shooting or something but they arrested him. Anyway that was pretty exciting. Jesse and I were having flashbacks of LA haha. The neighbors were all surprised and shocked and we were like "eh, no biggie, we're used to this..." hahah.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


Summer Vacation.

Little things...

I am thankful to have Jesse for the following reasons:

He pops my blisters when I'm scared to and puts Neosporin on my them so they heal faster.

He loves my pug dog and my pug dog loves him back.

He opens the door for me when we come home from night walks.

He cleans my hair dye off my skin and does it ever so gently.

He brings me drinks and puts wet towels on me when it's too hot to do anything.

He drives me around places because he knows how much I hate driving.

He unlocks the car door for me, whether I'm driving or not.

He rubs my butt cos he knows I love having my butt rubbed.

He washes dishes to surprise me sometimes even though I don't make him do it, he's just being nice, and I appreciate that!

He cooks for me sometimes.

He draws baths for me and makes sure I have a towel ready for when I get out.

He keeps an eye out for danger when we go on night walks.

He teaches me new things every day.

He talks to me and also listens.

He cares.

And I am appreciative for that and love him for it and I am thankful to have him in my life!

Wait! I'm pissed... Posted Date: July 10 - 3:48 AM

I'm gonna vent for 2 seconds here:

I always write blogs about my adventures, my friends, people I love, what have you. No one ever blogs about me. I feel like a douche bag. Can someone write a blog about how they love me or something to make me feel more complete? I just don't get the sense people love me as much as I love them, y'know??? Like I make these efforts for the world and they don't even give me the time of the day???

Also, I send people emails and comments and what not. They never respond. And Jesse, just because we live together doesn't mean you can't comment to me anymore! I make you dinner, the least you can do is leave me a comment once in a while!

I just get the feeling I'm not appreciated sometimes. Hmpf...


So like literally two seconds ago I hear Lulu chewin on something and tearing it apart and I thought it was one of her toys and I look down and she dug out my tampon applicator and trash from the bathroom trash can and was in the process of demolishing it!!! I got all mad and thought it was terribly gross. Bad Pud Dog!!!

Friday, July 6, 2007

It's a good Friday...

Jesse and I went to this gun shop in Sparks today. Then we went to Wendy's. After that we went to the Sparks Marina. The beach was closed though and we were all pissed so we sat on a bench and Jesse was like "Maybe this will be like your tri-tip situation" and I was like "What if I bitch about it enough it'll happen?" Sure as shit like 15 minutes later the lifeguards go out and announce the re-opening of the beach. People go out and we get our blanket and towels from City Truck and go out to swim. We swam for a good while, splashing each other and laughing and just dicking around. Jesse carried me on his shoulders and the lifeguard yelled at us to not do it. Douche bag. Anyway when the storm clouds started rolling in more and a bit of a breeze kicked up, we decided to call it a day. We drove home. I hopped online to check my mail and got a job offer doing production stuff again. So that's a good thing. Anyway I start next week. Jesse has a job interview set up for Sunday so hopefully he gets that. I'm crossing my fingers for him. Anyway, things are looking mighty fine in Reno town. Life is so great out here I love it and I couldn't be happier! What's better than to be doing something you enjoy doing for work that's like within walking distance to your home, living with the man you love and your little pug dog, all in the heart of the city in a cute little apartment that is dirt cheap!? Seriously people, RENO RULES!!! I have a good feeling I'm going to have a lot of pride in this town. I think Jesse and I are going to celebrate our good news with some hamburger helper and another trip to the Marina tomorrow :) Yay!!!!

od bless America

Today when we were driving home from the Sparks Marina Jesse and I saw this beat up car. There was this sticker on the car. It was horrible. It was one of those Calvin pissing on something stickers. But the thing Calvin was pissing on was the word AMERICA. We were infuriated. Jesse spit on their car as we passed. Seriously if you hate this country so much, why bother living here? It just made me mad.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Painting (The art of the mundane)

I bought some more canvases today. I told Jesse when I got them that I have painting A.D.D. Basically I start a piece, get bored cos it doesn't finish as soon as I hope and decide to start a new piece. Which is good because I have a lot of great ideas right now. I started a new piece tonight. I've been working on a series of works, basically on a small standard scale (11x14), all of which are focused on my life and experiences in Reno. It's all totally boring daily shit but stuff I find enjoyable because it makes me feel like I'm somehow achieving my goals of one day becoming a wife. Doing laundry for Jesse, going grocery shopping to get him food, cooking for him and so on.

Jesse just asked me where I was shopping in my painting because there's no food on it yet and he thought it was at WalMart. I thought I'd throw that comment in right now because it's pretty funny. It made me laugh. Mostly because he was serious in his questioning, not trying to be funny or ironic, but genuinely serious. Heh. I'm such an asshole!

So yea, I hope to have a series of these daily task paintings soon. My goal is to get enough of them and try to send some slides to some of the local galleries so I can get a show out here within the year. I don't need any help finding my artistic voice. I also don't need to mimic what everyone else is doing. I don't fear people not liking my work. I do what comes from deep down inside of me. Not everyone is going to like your work, and knowing this and accepting it gracefully is what makes someone truly an artist. Being an artist in it's truest form isn't about trying to be THE biggest thing. It's not about copying everyone else for the sake of popularity. The real artists are the ones who live by their hearts and express themselves and their feelings in their medium of choice. The people we remember are the people who choose to not do what is popular. They don't copy others. They find inspiration in the most unlikely of places. Sometimes those places are places people choose to over look because of their normalcy. It's not always about driving to dangerous locations at odd hours all dressed up to get the "perfect shot". Sometimes it's just the art of the mundane.


A certain person I know who will remain anonymous other than the fact we were in girl scouts together mentioned how her mom found her old pogs recently. That totally brought back memories for me. Big time. I remember when I was getting ready to move I actually was looking for my old pogs but I couldn't find them. I suppose I trashed them years before or something. But yea, somehow the issue of pogs came up and I searched with no luck. Then I see her post about pogs and well, maybe it was that, maybe it was the weather, either way it brought back memories.

I remember when I was in 6th grade when I got into pogs. I kinda picked up on them late. I remember the boys in school playing with them before class and at nutrition and lunch. I remember The Lion King was out and Lori and I collected the cheezy trading cards. My dad went to get us each a pack as a surprise one day from this store that was by the Hello Kitty store on Woodley and he came home with a pack of cards for me and Lori and some pogs. Lori and I knew about pogs but we had no idea like where you'd get them or how to get into them. I guess the guy at the shop gave them to my dad as like a freebie shopping promo giveaway thing or something and he gave them to us not really knowing what they were all about. I remember there were like 3 pogs and 1 slammer. The slammer was black with some sort of weird rainbow color metallic paint job and some sorta surfer style stick man funky guy engraved on it.

From that moment on, we knew we needed to get more pogs.

Around the spring and summer we would have garage sales. Lori and I would take the money we got from our garage sale earnings and buy pogs from the ice cream truck along with our usual frozen culprits of choco-tacos and chocolate eclaire bars.

We seized any opportunity to get more pogs. Our dad was hip to this as well. At Ralphs grocery store, if you would spend so much money you would get a free 5 pack of special edition Coke polar bear pogs. If you ordered Dominoes Pizza and got some special deal you would get some Noid pogs. If you got combo meals at Del Taco you'd get pogs.

By the end of that summer, Lori and I had acquired so many pogs. We had pog containers and they were bursting with pogs we had managed to save up and buy or get as specials from various vendors. And just like all childhood obsessions, we grew bored of it after that summer. Our pogs had been put away in the drawers never to be seen again.


Yesterday it was hot. Really hot. When we got back from the marina, all we could do was try to devise ways of staying cool. Eventually the game plan was filling up the bath tub and hanging around in towels, going in whenever we got dry for a dip and resuming our activities. Once the sun got to the front side of the house (it rises on the east by our bedroom and sets on the west by our living room/kitchen) the living room was dubbed by Jesse as "the sauna". It was hot. What's worse is yesterday was like the first day wit NO breeze. Anyway, I went to the bedroom to cool off. It was around 7. I was all dressed and ready to go see fireworks. I laid down. Then Jesse comes in and rubs me down with a wet wash cloth cos I guess I must have been all sweaty or something. A little later, he comes in and tells me to put on my jammies and go to bed. I don't want to. I don't even really respond. I'm too hot to do anything. A few minutes later, I get up and go out to the living room. It's dark. Jesse's watching tv. He tells me we missed the fireworks. I got all bummed. We then watched some show with Penn and Teller about circumcisions and that grossed me out and we went to bed. Today is supposed to be hotter than yesterday and I have a job interview. Great.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

***** Neighbor Update: Part Deux ******

The shady people down stairs have not been home in the last few days. Last time I remember seeing them was Saturday morning when they appeared to be selling some sort of big screen tv. Some guy came by and picked it up and put it in his truck as they stood outside looking around nervously. Jesse and I were under the assumption the tv was stolen. Anyway, that was the last time we saw them. Well I guess yesterday Jesse said there was some sort of 48 hour notice hanging on their door in a little clear bag. Maybe it was an eviction notice, who knows. Things we do know: there's a notice on the door, there is some form of social security coming in, there is a lot of shady activity with them. Last week Jesse went out to walk Lulu. The guy downstairs was with this goofy looking black dude who rides a bike up and down the street and wears this baby blue do' rag. Anyway when Jesse was walking down, he was amidst what looked like a potential dope deal in the alley. The guy who lives below us said something like "not here" or something. Then this other time, we were coming home from I forget where but like there's this Mexican girl who is friends with the girl who lives down stairs. It was like 3 in the afternoon and we're checking our mail and she comes out and was like "Oh do you live here?" and we're like "Yeah...???" and she's like "Could we use your phone, she's out of minutes." and Jesse and I said no. Then when we got upstairs we were like "Yea fuck that. Let me let you in so you can case our place and find out all the potential stuff you can pawn from us and rack up our phone bill too..." I could be wrong, but I have this theory that they arelow on money and sold the tv and plan on skipping town without paying rent. It's just sorta stupid because they're not getting their social security check by doing so. I'm not mad though, that's more money the state gets to keep. Hahah. There's been several occasions Jesse and I have thought about calling the cops on their shady activities just to have shit on file, but then we think more about it and realize its more a waste than it is worth the time.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Haunted by Holy Matrimony

Reno is obviously a town of gamblers and tourists. With all these gambling infatuated turds comes the dreaded Saturday, July 7, 2007 or as the gamblers see it 07-07-07. Dud. What better way to prove what a compulsive dipshit you are than to get married on that date? Everywhere I look I am haunted by scenes of marriage. Fucking Style channel is bombarded by wedding related programs and specials and even doing a lame ass all day just wedding related shows on Saturday. Lame. Then there's big ass glowing light billboards at the Peppermill. Not to mention the usual suspects of May-December romances, the local chapels. From the exotic themed room motel and wedding chapel on S. Virginia to the more normal walk-in chapels on the strip. One thing's for sure, I'm willing to bet the courthouse is busy as fuck this week. I'd like to sit around with a shotgun and pop every fucker I see getting married this Saturday, but I think its mostly cos I'm jealous. Whatever, at least I'm honest enough to admit that. Fuck you.

Excited about 4th of July!!!

I gotta say I'm pretty jazzed about tomorrow. Usually the 4th of July would blow in the past. Drive to dipshit's house. Wait till 10 pm for him to cook dinner. Watch fireworks from little truck by myself cos dipshit was on his computer.

This year I actually have FUN plans that cost no money and don't require me to drive. Well not completely, Jesse is going to drive.

First we're heading out to Sparks to go spend the day swimming at the Sparks Marina. Jesse found some swim shorts so he gets to go swimming too this time. I bought some special sun block from Sportsman's so hopefully I won't get burned. I can't get a sunburn cos I have an important meeting Thursday.

After, we're going to come home, maybe make a quick easy dinner and take the Pug-Child to the doggie park for a bit. Usually we go on our night walks but since there's going to be fireworks and this is her first 4th of July, I'm not sure how she'll react so we're going to take her out early and then keep her home for the night.

Then, to finish the night off, Jesse and I will go on our weekend night walk down to the strip to watch fireworks down town.

I'm really excited about it. We have such a fun filled packed day. I'm excited because I get to spend it with Jesse. I love him so much and I am so proud of him. He's the best!

Monday, July 2, 2007

***** Neighbor Update ******

Apartment A: The Shady People
There's this black guy and girl who live below us. We're not sure what they do for a living because they'll be there one day and then go missing for a few days and then be home for a while and leave later. Anyway, they have friends over on weeknights and stay up till like 3 or 4 am blasting rap and arguing inside, arguing outside, and there's people coming and going and yapping on cell phones in the middle of the street all hours of the night. Today when we were walking home Jesse noted that their mail looked like it hadn't been checked in days because half their mail was bursting out of the box, one of which was some sort of letter from a social wellfare type company. We're assuming they collect some form of government aid. What a surprise.

Apartment B: Crazy Lady
Today Dodger had his manhood taken from him. Crazy lady told us she was going to do this a few days ago. Jesse said he had some other stuff done to him too. She talks to Jesse a lot. I guess one time he gave her the time of day and she's been latching on to him since. We sorta talked to her one afternoon about her friend who is in jail or something cos he's some rich ass alcoholic or something. I dunno. She's still crazy.

Apartment C: The Cool People
That's us. Not much to tell here that you don't already know about.

Apartment D: Mark
Mark is Mark. He's kinda like a ghost. No one sees him come in, no one sees him come out. He has this lady friend in a VW bug who comes over once a week, usually Mondays or Tuesdays.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Confused Priorities

I love the Style channel. It's full of pretentious people trying to prove themselves. The best shows are the wedding shows. I'm absolutely appalled at how outlandish some of these people feel their weddings need to be. I mean you have shows like I Propose which follow guys on a 3 day journey into them planning the so called perfect proposal. This morning I saw some douchebag take his girlfriend on a hot air balloon then to a pick-nick then he proposed and the other guy took his girl sky diving and landed to a proposal and a party with all their friends and family. Why the hell do people feel the need to make a proposal something you'll remember? I mean, isn't the fact someone asking you to marry them and giving you a ring enough of a memory? Or the fact you wind up actually marrying them and getting a license stating you are married enough of a memory? I don't get it. What ever happened to the days of a simple "Will you marry me?" Why do people need to spend hundreds of dollars on a day and then thousands of dollars on a ring just to pop the question? I mean if someone absolutely truly loves you, they don't need some expensive ass ring or outlandish event when you propose to them. Simply asking them will be enough for them. They'll say yes. Everyone is happy.

But lo and behold these same women who need the outlandish proposals need to have an over the top wedding. They're not happy with a little David's Bridal gown. They need some fucking $7,000 Vera Wang custom gown or a $15,000 dress from Milan or something. Then they need to invite every fucking person they've ever known and have like 150 guests at their wedding. Each guest needs to have fillet mignon and lobster with sushi h'ourderves and the most expensive champagnes and top of the line entertainment, $5,000 photographers, $12,000 in floral arrangements, and of course the perfect setting of some ridiculously priced location. Most of the weddings shown have like at least a $80,000 budget. And you hear these wedding planners saying that it's a totally reasonable amount and that the average wedding has like 125 guests and usually cost $50,000. I can't even fathom spending that kind of money on anything! $50,000 pays off all my debts! Why would anyone spend so much money on ONE DAY!?!? I'd rather take that money and buy new cars or like a new car and go on a really nice vacation and pay some bills or something, but it's just outlandish to spend that much on a wedding. Then you have these fucking wedding planners that cost like 10% - 20% of what the cost of the wedding is. Ok, so yea the planner helps you find the best florists and photographers and location and helps you save money, but what's the point of saving money on all that crap if it's just going to go into their fucking pockets!?!?!

It's ridiculous. Shit like that scares men out of marriage. Normal guys see shit like that and think every girl wants a $20,000 rock on her finger and a $100,000 wedding. The ironic part is most of these weddings aren't paid for by the guys but by the girls parents. I've always had this theory that if I ever got married I refused to spend more than $300 on a dress and the absolute most I'd pay for a wedding would be between $2,500 and $5,000 depending on how much I could have saved up by that time. None the less, I'd be more than content fucking signing a paper at a courthouse, sans flowers, photographers, and unwanted drunk guests. Heh. Don't get me wrong, if I ever had that kinda money I'd love to have a storybook wedding, but I'm realistic. I know my abilities and limitations. Find me a shooting range that'd let me have a reception there and I'd be pretty f'n content. :)