Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Teague Wedding & Shoot Out

The stars were aligned in all the right places.

Today, Jesse & I got married.

I know, many people are pissed because they found out a day or two before it happened. The thing is, this was our wedding. We don't have money for one of those big fancy pants tv type weddings. We did have money for getting rings, getting a license, and getting married by the justice of the peace. We had talked for a while and decided this was the best option and that in a year from now when we have money we would just have a reception/anniversary party when our friends and family could come up. Thing is, that won't really be everyone's cup of tea because most likely we will have it at the Mustang Range.

Anyway, enough about apologies to everyone, on to the great day!

It started like any other Saturday in which we would be doing something eventful. I woke up and made breakfast, called my mom, Jesse had to go to a work meeting and came back around 9. In the meantime I took a shower and got dressed. Later Jen, who was going to be our witness, came down with Cowboy and Jooster. We hung around the apartment for a bit while I finished my hair and make up and then walked down to the courthouse.

It was pretty funny because me, Jesse, and Cowboy all had things that had to be left up front with the officers doing the security screening. They wouldn't let Jesse or me bring in our bullet keychains, plus, mine had a pocket knife on it, and Cowboy had a pocket knife. Once we got inside, it was sorta like going to the DMV and getting your drivers license. It took all of maybe 5 minutes tops. Just gave them our id's, answered a few questions, signed some papers and we were out. We got our stuff back and walked down the block to the justice of the peace.

On our way there, we found a liquor store with a sign for Natural Ice on it that said NATTY ICE!!! We were like "we're taking a picture by that later!!!" and went on. Once there, we waited while the justice of the peace completed some paperwork and then we went into her office and answered some state mandated questions and said the state mandated wedding vows. Then we did the little ring exchange thing, wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am you may kiss the bride and it was done.

So we walk back a block to take a picture with the NATTY ICE sign. I did an auto timer and propped it up on some dude's car!!! After that, we walked down to Juicy's and had lunch, then back to the apartment so I could change. Then we all went out to Fernley in Cowboy's sweet ride to go to the Mustang Range Machine Gun Shoot.

We got there and I could totally get the vibe Jesse and I felt like kids at a carnival. You got your wrist bands. Then you looked at the goods to see what you wanted to play with. Then you bought tickets to get access to the guns. HOLY SHIT!!! THAT WAS FUN!!! I shot a 1919 and a M-16 (like my dad shot in 'Nam, minus the kinks he had with his) and Jesse shot a Russian PKM. We decided next year we'd save up and get the full package deal they were selling that granted you access to every gun out there. So we'll be saving up for that one :)

After we came back home and hung out. Jen, Joost and Cowboy got headed back. We walked them down and let Lulu wee and boom and I found a dollar on the floor!!! Then, we went back into Teague Plantation and I made baked chicken, butter & herb noodles, and french cut green beans for dinner. And finally, I'm blogging about it all and I put pictures up in a little album of the crazy antics of our day including the sights we saw at the range including these weird ass totally out of place industrial goths who were probably shooting because it was ironic as well as a reason for people to say no to crack. I also put some videos up on my profile of my shooting antics and Jesse put some of his up on his profile.

Anyway, I think we'll be going to Coldstones in a bit for ice cream. Even though I bought us a bundt cake for today, I'm no longer in the mood for it, how typical of me heh. Today was such a great day. I'm a Teague now. I get to spend the rest of my life with the man I love. We got to shoot machine guns. We found a dollar. We had a great dinner. We're gonna get ice cream. What else could make this day any better???

As if this day couldn't get any better, it does!!!

We headed out to Coldstones for ice cream. There's this white breaker guy straight up break dancing inside before we entered. Then we get in and there's three high school girls in there. The breaker leaves and one girl says he was cute cos he was white. Jesse and I sort of shared one of those glances amidst each other and snickering at it. Then the one girl is talking to us and was totally flirting with my husband!!! She was asking him like what kind of music he likes and making small talk about work with him. It was sooo silly!!! Then, for whatever reason I turn around and find a $20 on the floor!!! I was like "OH SHIT, JESSE!!! I FOUND A $20!!!" We then sat around for a wee bit chit chatting with the obviously bored high school girls and left when other customers came in. Jesse and I walked back to the car and were laughing at the fact we now have $20 in our possession, that being the second time in one day I found money on the floor, and at the statement I had said to Jesse, "that one high school girl was totally flirting with my husband!!!" Oh man, this was an awesome day. Although now we're both worried something bad will happen because this much good luck can't possibly fall upon two people for no reason... what a great day!!!!

Signs of good things to come

1. Payday came early.
2. Last night was so cold and rainy, the news reported small snowfall at the airport, which has melted by this point.
3. The last two days have been huge illegal immigration raids and a McDonalds was shut down because all the employees were arrested for being illegal.
4. There is a gun show this weekend.
5. There is a free admission full auto machine gun shoot at the Mustang Range in Fernley today.

I dunno, but if those aren't some signs that we picked the right weekend to get married, I don't know what are!!!

Where is my period???

Since I haven't had money to buy my birth control, I don't know when I last got my period because I don't have a sugar pill to tell me it's period week. And I don't have a calendar and mark it down like I used to in high school to track it. So now I'm sitting here wondering if I'm supposed to get it this week or next week. Trying to think if it was a pay period when I last got it. I know if I stress out about this that will only delay it more so I'll just sit and enjoy my weird food cravings and wait till I get the gnarly stomach pains and know then that I'll get my period shortly...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I've had it up to HERE with HINDUS and EARTHLINK!!!

Yesterday I canceled my services with earthlink forever. My problems were over... so I thought. Today I get ANOTHER returned check charge from my bank for fucking $18 from earthlink for some other bogus features!!! GOddamn hindus are charging me for shit AFTER i canceled my services with them!!!! For services i don't even have!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!? So I got in touch with my inner racist and totally chewed out the son of a bitch on the phone and even told her at one point i hope her little shiva god fucking shits on her and to go fuck herself. I do believe I outdid my dad's customer service complaining ten fold. Oh, and I filed another complaint with the better business bureau again tonight stating i want earthlink to pay for all the $88 in overdraft/returned check fees I've received because of those piece of shit third world criminals. I want to be worrying about getting married, not about whether some fucking turban wearing cow worshiper is gonna steal my credit card info and buy 80 lb bags of salt and a pair of nikes or something!!! jesus fucking christ i'm mad!!! i have never been so upset at fuckin corporate crime as i am right now. seriously... this is bullshit.

Teague Wedding / Gun Show

It's exactly what it sounds like. Saturday. More info to come.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Jenny takes on Earthlink via BBB

Well! I've had it with Earthlink and those Hindu motherfuckers they outsource! I am SICK of it! I get a returned check charge today for one $29.88 to Earthlink for prepaid email services which I DID NOT AUTHORIZE!!! They just go in to my account info with the credit card I had on file and CHARGE IT without my permission!!! FUCKERS!!! So I contact them. Tell them cancel EVERYTHING. ALL of my services. I don't want any more surprise billings, my account with them is done, OVER!!! I then submit my complaint within the Better Business Bureau stating how they charged an unauthorized fee, don't know what I'm saying cos they're all a bunch of Hindu dipshits who can barely speak English let alone know what you're saying. I was pissed. Oooh so pissed. SO yea, they suck ass. Their offices are in Georgia but all their employees are in India. I hope there's a big ass earthquake in India and all those turban wearing shitholes get injured and those cows and goats that roam the streets there eat their dicks off and chew their eyes out and they die slow painful disease ridden third world deaths. Fuckers!!!


It's cold and I totally feel like I'm getting a cold and it sucks cos there isn't shit I can do about it or to fix it. I don't have insurance so I can't see a doctor. We still haven't gotten our heater fixed yet, bastards! My nose is sniffly and runny, I'm sneezy, I'm sleepy, I totally sound like I'm composed of the 7 fucking dwarves. I am so not in the mood to do dishes or cook tonight... although I eagerly await my noodle side dish things of either butter & herb flavored or butter flavored. Mmm noodles...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Foreign Labor and Customer Service Wars (Why Earthlink sucks)

Thursday night my earthlink email didn't work. I contacted their online tech support and they kept redirecting me to other people. I got disconnected and tried to call. I could only get through to machine directories that kept spinning me around in circles. Finally I get back on the tech support. They tell me my account is not activated and that they will activate it after I pay a delinquent balance of $14. Ok. I pay. They say it should be back up in 20 minutes. Good.

20 minutes later it no workie. I'm tired. It's late. I work the next day. I go to bed and figure I'll check again in the morning.

Next day, it still doesn't work. I call their tech support. They tell me my internet service has been disconnected. Granted they're talking Time Warner, which I haven't dealt with in well over 4 months! The person I spoke to the night before online knew I was with Charter but said nothing of my internet service issues. They tell me I can keep my email and access my account if I create a new account and it will cost me $4 a month and I was like "I'll call back later."

At this point, I set up my new email address and try to make changes on my online accounts from myspace, wells fargo, sallie mae, paypal, ebay and so on. Half the sites in order for me to change are sending confirmation emails to my old email address, granted I can't even access it! At this point, I am like fuck it all. I don't have the time or patience for this.

Finally, today, I call up earthlink again, as I finally have the patience. Granted today was destine to be a bad day from the moment the phone rang at 5 AM without leaving any numbers as to who called or voicemails, to me barfing when I got to work, it was destined to be BAD. I call earthlink and spend 30 minutes on line with tech support, sales, cancellations and every Hindu motherfucker and their mother. None of them know what I'm saying and keep making reassuring comments to my questions. I ask them what kind of idiots they have working there and demand a mailing address and phone number so I can file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. All of a sudden, after this threat is made, and I have spent 5 days, talked to well over 7 people, magically they are able to re-activate my account. Upon it's activation I ask the She-Hindu why it is she can suddenly activate my account after spending 10 minutes talking to me and I spent days and hours earlier with other people trying to have the same thing done. She appologizes and asks if she can help anything else. I don't even know how to respond to her response.

So I get on and automatically set up my email forwarding, update my address book on my yahoo account and then I realize they have pre-billed me for something I have not authorized them to do! So, right now I have no patience. Zero! I will call again later tonight after I know for a fact all my info has been sent over and is happy and then I will call to tear them a new one telling them I want my credit card refunded for any unauthorized charges they may have billed and that I want EVERYTHING pertaining to that account canceled IMMEDIATELY!!!

That complaint will still be processed with the BBB. Especially after they did the unauthorized billing. Oh, those Hindu sonsobitches are gonna have hell to pay. I'll see to it they don't get anoter work visa again. And goddammit, American companies need to hire AMERICANS and quit outsourcing with fucking people who don't even know anything about what they're dealing with!!!

As of now here's the response I submitted to their online survey of their customer service:

Monday, September 24, 2007

Weekend Recap

This weekend I was back in LA. Didn't get much time to talk about it but there's a few things that came back to me when I was down there, mostly the fact there is a lot of negative energy out there. People suck ass. For the most part, it was a good weekend. Got a free flight, made some money, saw family and friends and got to eat at my old favorite places. Anyway, I forgot how rude a lot of Californians are. People drive like idiots. Everywhere you go its crowded. I was really home sick by Saturday. As sad as it sounds, I missed Jesse so much. I felt so lonely sleeping on the futon by myself. It was hard knowing that if I rolled over one way he would not be there. I could deal with him being like an hour or two away from me, but 500 miles, I totally forgot how lonely that was. When I got back to Reno, I was overwhelmed with emotions. When I saw the Grand Sierra Resort from the plane, I almost cried, because I knew I was home. Then I was overcome with other weird emotions that home was no longer with my parents but out here. This was the first time I flew from the Reno home to my parent's place. When I got inside the airport the place looked pretty empty. I waited a few minutes for Jesse and then when he got there, we spotted each other clear from the other sides of the airport. He waved and I waved back and then we started to run to each other in a very cliche manner. We met up and locked into a hug and kiss. He lifted me up and it was good to be home again. I love my Booger. I don't love LA. I love Reno. We love this place!

Subject Sometimes a really good horoscope can make a not so good situation seem not so bad...

I crimed the Southwest behind the seat magazine because there was a really optimistic horoscope for me in it. Plus because it was for this month, made it even all that better. It's like one of those signs you've been waiting for even though there's been several others along the way, just this one is the blatantly obvious one... the sign from God you ask for. Just as you reach the heavens and open up a magazine there are words that suddenly make everything in your life come together and make sense and you get that comforting feeling that everything will be alright.

(What did it say?)

Jan. 21 to Feb. 20
Take a deep breath. OK, now read on. This month might bring a slew of sudden, unexpected expenses. The word "sudden" usually doesn't scare an Aquarius. Your positive outlook always figures on a prize hidden somewhere. But now, the bills start mounting up. What to do? First, don't panic. If your conviction that your prize awaits is strong, who cares if your wallet takes a hit? You believe that by doing what you love, the money will follow. It will. Till then, spend quality time with a loved one who can lift your spirits.

How can I not feel bad, right? 'Nuff said.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


1. Last night I was trying to sleep. Things were going very well. Around 12:04 AM I wake up from sharp back pain on my lower left side. I was laying on my right side. I writhe in pain onto my back and think if I lay down flat that will make it better. It doesn't. I lay there for what seems to be an eternity and glance over to the left at the alarm clock, which now says it's 12:17 AM. Only 13 minutes passed. I then wriggle over to my left side thinking that if I have pressure on that side of my body that might ease the pain. I shut my eyes. The best way I can describe the pain is by those crystal balls with the glowing center that has the electric rods squiggling around touching the edges of the crystal ball. I felt like the center of my pain was the glowing ball and that rods of pain were shooting out in all different directions simultaneously to various parts of my lower back. I looked over at the clock again and it was 12:23. By that point I just closed my eyes and wished the pain would go away till I got so tired or the pain let up and I eventually fell asleep.

2. I've been really constipated the last few days. I've been finding myself eating a lot of fruits and green vegetables yet I can't shit. Then when I do it is very half-ass. It's making me all bloated and farty feeling and I'm not down with that at all. I finally made a relatively decent boom today at work. I thought maybe that back pain I had last night was due to pressure build up of poop in my body... either that or I'm getting a bladder infection... I'm hoping for the poop theory.

3. Yesterday on my way back from Trader Joe's I passed this shop, Nothing Bundt Cakes. I pass it every time I go to TJ's but I never went inside. We got a cake from there at work once and it was very good. I looked in as I walked and stopped, taking a step backwards and walking into the shop. They had the regular sized bundt cakes (which is all they sell by the way, bundt cakes, hence the name) but they also have larger ones and baby ones called bundtlettes. They have all sorts of flavors and all have this really good icing on top. I was going to get the cinnamon swirl bundt cake and as I was about to pay, the people in front of me had a red one. I asked the girl at the counter what it was and she said it was the flavor of the month: red velvet. I thought it would be like a fruity flavor like raspberry or something. No. Red velvet is a cocoa flavored bundt cake. Jesse and I shared it last night (and will finish it tonight) and discovered it to be very tasty not to mention have chocolate chips baked into it. I give that shop 2 very enthusiastic thumbs up. I'd totally get a wedding cake from there just to be different!

4. Tonight was the first time I shaved my legs and other parts of my body in a long time. I can't remember when the last time was, maybe Saturday. Either way, I guess I feel good for it?

5. It's been pretty cold out here lately. Nights in the 40's, days in the 60's. The mountains got snow from the rain last night. After a summer of brown and green mountains surrounding us, this morning on the way to work we saw Mt. Rose, which was a green mountain laced with white powder. A sign that winter is only a few months away. I can't wait till we get our first snowfall in town. All the locals suspects it will be a very mild winter. I can't wait till we've been here long enough to be considered locals...

6. We haven't been fishing in a while. I guess the season at pyramid lake opens up in 2 weeks. Everyone is saying that is like THE place to go fishing because if you catch anything under 19" you have to throw it back and if you catch anything over 28" you have to throw it back or something. There's a real small size range of what you can keep. And word on the street is this year they changed it to where you can only fish with single barbless hooks, no live bait, no artificial bait; only lures, spoons, and flys.

That's all I got. There was another thing I was going to write about but I forgot...

Friday, September 14, 2007

**** UPDATE: Crazy Lady *****

Oh my fucking god!!!! Ok, I haven't seen her, but for the last WEEK, her piece of shit box car has been parked outside of our apartment all night, as if she is sleeping in somewhere, my guess with Twyla!!! Jesse and I were talking to one of the neighbors the other night and he said he thinks she got kicked out of her new place and is staying there or that there's something going on with the car because apparently, her car has the license plates that were on Twyla and man's piece of shit white car that keeps dying out on them whenever they attempt to drive it. I think I understand this theory. Reason being, remember that time when she was moving and she asked Jesse if she could borrow his truck to move her stuff as if he'd be all like "oh yea, sure, here's the keys!" Well, we're not like that, but I bet all the other weirdos out here are. My guess is maybe Twyla's car fucked out on them and they asked Crazy Lady to borrow her car till they get theirs fixed, put their plates on it, and are driving it around? That's my theory. But according to Jesse, he actually saw her a few nights ago? I haven't heard her. I feel like if she were here, she'd be out and about in the neighborhood, with Dodger. Something weird is going on. I can't figure it out...

La for Lu

We have such a smart little pug child! Really, she is!!! Every now and then we'll throw her a scrap from dinner, but not all the time so she doesn't get fat or health problems. Anyway, whenever Jesse goes to give her food, he makes her sit, then he asks her "Do you want La for You? Tell me. Do you want La for You?" and instead of barking like most dogs would do, since she knows barking is only to inform us of intruders or danger, she will nod her head yes!!! Usually it's a very quick little up-down motion but she totally understands. She is so smart and lovable! We love our little pug dog!!!


you will never understand the way i feel. i can't argue with you about this anymore. it wears me out. but i won't give up. i'll give you more time and pray you come around. one day maybe you'll know, but you can't possibly understand now. maybe you'll understand the day you see your child or hold them in your arms. you know nothing of the attachment i feel, or the need to protect them. i understand financially it will be hard. that i will need to make many sacrifices. that you are not ready, nor am i. but i believe in my heart that this is the right thing. i pray you don't hate me. i pray you truly understand. i pray you choose to be a father to your child. i love you and i love your child. i want both of you in my life. right now you are making me choose. i can't do this. please don't do this to us. this will not be the end of your dreams or ruin your life. we can do this, i know we can. please, dear. please. i've never asked for anything, but i ask you now, please, let's do this. i know it will be far more rewarding in the long run. it will be hard, but we will be very happy, all of us. there is love there. please, let's let that love grow to the family we were destined to have...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Windows and sleep

Last night was the first night this season we slept with all the windows in the apartment shut. It was finally cold (not cool, COLD) enough to do so. I don't know how cold it was last night when we shut them. It was around 8:00. We were eating dinner (pork chops, shells & white cheddar pasta roni, and spinach) and watching V for Vendetta (by the way Lori, you are crazy to say that movie "wasn't all that great", it was bad ass!!!) Now, it had been pretty cool yesterday during the day. It was maybe mid 70's low 80's. There was some light wind. But when we were watching our movie, the winds had kicked up and it got cold. So we closed all the windows.

I took the day off today. I haven't been feeling too great lately and had some time accrued so my boss let me stay home. I planned on sleeping in. However the last two days I have been waking up early to go pee, fart, and back to bed. Wednesday I woke up around 6:30. Yesterday I woke up at 6:00. I sit in bed and wait for my alarm to go off and keep beating it so I can continue to lay in bed. This morning, I wake up at 5:30. I didn't set the alarm. I laid in bed, eyes shut, in a weird contorted position for fears of making a pug dog, who has made themselves comfortable in my sleeping spot, uncomfortable. I listened to the AM radio for a bit. However, after half an hour of that nonsensical attempt at falling back asleep, I decide, fuck it, and wake up. So here I am now. It is morning. I am cold. I am in my fuzzy red house shoes, black knit pants, t-shirt, and a hoodie. According to it is 45 degrees outside in Reno right now at 7:16 am. I can believe that. For those of you in So. Cal. who are still going through 90+ weather and can't believe it, here's a screen shot to prove it:

Anyway, I think I'll either look for some breakfast or watch some tv. I know sleeping again now at this point is not going to happen.

Up for a challenge...

I had one of those weird moments today where I was thinking about things. Life in Reno is a lot harder than life back home was. We make a lot of sacrifices but in the long run, we're better for it. It's funny because so many people choose to do the easy thing because they don't want the stress but I've discovered that the more difficult road is a lot more rewarding and I'm happier this way. Maybe it's my nature that I enjoy a challenge, but I just love Reno. I know so many people told me to tell them when I would be coming back home because I was sick of this place, but honestly, I don't think I am... or ever could be for that matter. Face it kids, I love this place. I love our little apartment. I love coming home to Jesse every night and waking up next to him every morning. The way Lulu gets excited to go on the ride to work with me and how happy she is to see her Mommy and Daddy when they get home. We make less money individually out here, but combined, we live comfortably enough. Sure, we don't have money to go to expensive places, but we can swing going out to eat once in a while. We always tend to have money for ammo or to go fishing. Reno is a happy place. It's a good thing. I am glad I got out of my comfort zone and chose such a life altering decision to come up here. One thing Jesse made me realize is that you can't be happy in a comfort zone forever. One day you'll need to step outside of your bubble and take on a new challenge. Maybe you'll be ready for it, maybe you won't. I know I wasn't ready to move out here when I did, but I did it anyway because I wanted to. I thought the circumstances were ok as the time got closer and they changed, but they wound up being better than I planned. I'm convinced if you really want to make something work out, you can do it. And you can be all the more happier for it. Everyone. Jesse and I are both very happy out here and talk about it every day. It is more difficult. We made some sacrifices. We live off a tight budget but allow money for play. We try to enjoy as many free and cheap things as possible like walks, fishing, and shooting. I find myself cutting coupons, making grocery lists, and sticking to them. It is harder, but more rewarding. I love it.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Yesterday I planned on making enchiladas for dinner. I went to Trader Joe's to get olives and maybe an avocado. I had very limited funds. I bought this guacamole kit and was so excited about it! I came home and made it and let it chill and it was oh so good! I thought I would eat it all, but instead I had a bunch left over. So I took it to work with me today for lunch, but I couldn't resist waiting. So right now it's 10:20 am and I'm munching on my guac, chocked full of raw garlic and shallots and tomato and lime and loving every minute of it! I am in such a happy place right now! The only thing that could make this better would be chocolate and a DrPepper!!! And if I were laying in bed watching Maury ahahah!!!!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

inability to function

i have a real hard time talking to people sometimes. i fear what they will say or do. sometimes i try to talk but can't formulate the words. other times i try to find a segue but it goes nowhere. i know the best means is to probably jump into what i want to say but i just can't do it. i just feel so scared and alone sometimes...

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Fiesta Del Ano!!!

Our neighbors are having a huge ass party complete with dj, loud music, and lights. Under normal circumstances, Jesse and myself would be rather pissed off, however Jesse has a Sig now and got to shoot it today and both of us are all about that gun as of the now, so we're in chipper moods. Anyway, on our party... they're playing ALL the hits tonight!!! I recognized a lot of songs from the days when I used to paint at Cafe Tutu Tango, as well as the carnival music, Spanish sounding chicken dance music and then they played the Los Lobos version of La Bamba and a Spanish version of Achy Breaky Heart!!! At several times throughout the course of the evening, Jesse yelled out AYE HUY HUY HUY HUY's and people would yell AYE HUY HUY HUY HUY's back!!! It was great!!! I totally was thinking of like wolves or coyotes howling back and forth at each other in some sort of animalistic sort of communication! I swear, we're having as much fun as the people at the party. It's great!!! I can't wait to go on our walk to the strip so we can pass this party and see what it's all about!!!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Dawn Patrol

This morning Jesse and I woke up at 4:00 am to scurry down to San Rafel Park to the Great Reno Balloon Races for Dawn Patrol. For those of you who don't know what that is, basically they have the Glow and Show and then followed by Dawn Patrol. Glow and show has the balloons all set up and they pull on a firey cord to light up the balloons. Dawn Patrol is the main event in which some pilots are licensed to fly their balloons at night. They take off in the morning while it's still dark and light up their balloons in the air and come down around sunset. After that is when the balloon races start. We didn't stay for that though. Instead we bought some orange juice and came home and made breakfast.

The best part of Dawn Patrol was the announcer. He would do countdowns for the pilots to simultaneously light up their balloons and follow up saying "let 'em coooool" and he had this weird Paul Harveyesque tone to him when he'd say that. It was all drawn out. Then he'd ask the balloons to "twinkle twinkle", and then the pilots would pull their flames a few times to make their balloons look like they were glowing on and off. Then they did dueling balloons. Basically one side of balloons was the guitar and the other was the banjo and they played dueling banjos and they twinkle twinkled to it. It was pretty sad. But amusing none the less. We were waiting for him to say "Now let 'em cooool...." hahaha.

Here's some pictures and a video clip from Dawn Patrol.

Wells Fargo Bee Balloons Willy and Joanie (I think that was their names?)

Let 'em glow. Dawn Patrol Balloons preparing for flight in simultaneous glow.

Balloons in the air.

And here's the balloons taking off.

After Dawn Patrol, we came home and I made breakfast. It was probably around 6:00 am. Jesse took a hot bath. My cook book has a very shitty pancake recipe I will not be making again as they tasted like rubber and were gross. Fortunately we had bacon and orange juice so all was well. Then we went back to sleep around 8:00 am. And some 4 plus hours later I decided to wake up. I was able to sleep in today and I feel glad. I'm still sleepy but we're going shooting later probably so Jesse can try out his new Sig. I'd like to try it too, just to see what it feels like...

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Throw me a rope so I can climb out of the grave I dug myself into...

Credit is like a harsh drug. Try it once and you're hooked. The more you get, the more you want. Evenutaully it ruins your life.

Credit ruined my life. My name is Jenny, and I am a victim of bad credit.

I was told to get credit when I was younger because it would be beneficial to me later in life. I knew the value of a dollar. I was raised in a middle class family, back when the middle class existed. Now I'm not sure where I fit in. I'm not rich. I'm not poor. I make decent money but have a lot of debts and can't manage to pay for them. I have student loans. A car loan for a car that was taken away from me from the financial institution that financed it for me two years ago. I have a small collection of credit card debts, not even equating to $5,000, yet they are all in collections because I don't know how to manage my money. I am a loser. I make money, yet I have no idea how to manage it. Right now I have $20 in my checking account, $9 in my savings, and $19 with my credit union savings account. I have $400 worth of goods in a pawn shop that will become their property if I don't pay back my debts in a few weeks. I have a net debt of approximately $52,000. I am 25.

When I was 18 I was told to build credit both by my parents and financial institutions because it would help me later on in life. I got a Visa card with a $200 limit. Oddly enough, because I had no credit, I had to pay $40 to get this card. And they made me pay $40 annually to them to keep it. I made small purchases with it. I paid them off in full each month. Then I got a Target and a Mervyns card because I had good credit with $200 limits on each. I did the same thing, paying for what I racked up at the end of the month and keeping my credit good. Then I got a Best Buy card. They let me have a $500 limit. I don't even recall anything I bought from Best Buy. All I know is within a year of getting my cards, they were all maxed out.

Around the same time I got the cards, I started college. I had a $5,000 loan, per semester, total of $10,000 that year. That didn't count the additional $10,000 I had to pay from my own pocket or the $10,000 in scholarships I was awarded. By the end of my first year in college, I had accumulated $11,100 in debts.

The student loans I didn't pay till I got out of school. My credit cards got late fees tacked on. I was making minimum payments. My $200 and $500 limits jump up to nearly $600 and $1,000 due from finance charges and fees. The next year of school was the same story. Trying to pay for tuition and juggle credit cards and buy school supplies. Just before I went into my third year, I was laid off. My cards went into collections.

I did get a job 3 months later. By that time, I was trying to figure out how to pay to stay in school and pretty much blew off paying any credit cards all together. Staying in school was far more important to me.

The next two years I spent trying to fix my credit. I would wait to get paid and then take an entire pay check and send in enough money to completely pay off a credit card. I actually got 3 of my 4 credit cards paid off and brought my $1,000 Best Buy card down to $500.

Then, out of nowhere, it happened again. I realized I now had paid off credit cards and didn't see it as a good thing that I cleared my name. Instead the compulsive attitude that keeps people hooked on drugs kept me hooked on the idea I could have more. I could buy things now that I didn't need because I had the credit. And I did exactly that. I bought stuff. Stuff I didn't need. Stuff I could have paid cash for. Food. Shampoo. Clothes. Gas. I was greedy. Within a short period of time, my cards were once again maxed out.

I had used overdraft protection at my bank as a form of credit on top of it all. Instead of seeing those $27 overdraft charges as a protection towards checks being returned, I saw it as a maximum of $500 to my name till next pay day. I abused the overdraft protection and wound up racking up sometimes up to $300 in overdraft charges. 25% of my pay checks were going towards paying back overdraft fees. Another 50% was to get me out of the hole again and after it all, only 25% was honestly mine to keep. And I would spend it.

Between 2005 and 2007 a huge part of my leftover portion went on my car payment. Then, when I moved to Reno, I couldn't afford to pay $550 for rent and $525 for a car when I had taken a significant pay cut. When we moved out here, I took rent as my bill and let Jesse pay utilities and cable. I needed to realize that whatever he paid, I would have to be able to pay on my own once he left to school.

When my car was repo'd I borrowed money to get a new car. I bought a little truck that crapped out on me 2 weeks after I got it. I didn't mind too much because Jesse and I were so close to each other's work we could just carpool. I even had an occasion where I walked home and that wasn't too horrible. I know if I had to I could walk to and from work, but I would rather not walk to work as it would take me an extra hour and by the time I get here I would be all hot and sweaty and tired. The busses out here are a little weird in terms of routes and schedules. I don't think I've even seen a bus, but it's something I'll have to look into if I can't get a car by the time Jesse goes back to school.

Jesse tried to help me get a loan to get a car. Between my bad credit and his no credit, we couldn't get one.

I can't complain about my problems. I got myself into them. I need to get myself out of them. I just don't understand where all my money goes to. I have an entire pay check in which I don't have any bills due, yet that money disappears so quickly. I need a serious life adjustment. I realized today there is no way Jesse and myself could ever own a home. He has no credit. I have horrible credit. We're stuck to rent for life. We will never own property. I just look at my debts and wonder how someone so young could owe so much. Or how bankers could allow someone who was making minimum wage working 2 days a week making a maximum of $320 a month get credit cards with a total limit of $1,100 a month. None of that made any sense. But a lot of things I've done don't make any sense. Like why I spent thousands of dollars on a man I didn't love. Or why I would allow myself to spend money I didn't have. I pray that in Reno, away from friends and temptations, I can get this bad situation cleared up.

I really hate myself sometimes for allowing myself to become this way. I've thought about robbing a liquor store in a small town or mugging hookers on several occasions. Oddly enough, I've never thought of suicide. I feel like that's a quitter's way out and I'm a fighter. I always try to think of get-rich-quick schemes. I look for things I own I could sell. Unfortunately I don't have anything of value. I promised myself after I get my .22 out of the pawn shop I'll never allow myself to pawn a gun or get rid of my guns again.

But then again, there's some things I don't understand. I have a good job. I went to college. I'm a responsible person, just not with money. Yet I see people I know who have more credit cards than I do that are all in collections. They've had cars repo'd. They financed plastic surgery procedures. And somehow, they can also get financed to get a new car again. I don't understand how someone worse off than me can do it, yet I can't. What am I doing wrong? Why do I still feel like a failure?

I just don't get it. But I hate it...

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I love you, I hate you

Wedding tv shows. You are so pretentious and ridiculous. I hate watching you because of how outlandishly expensive your weddings are, and the extent the guys to in order to propose, yet I am amused. However, I only hate you because I am jealous. I wish I could have something stupid like that but would rather have a house instead of a day of fun for friends and family. I love you guys, but you don't mean that much to me. My future means more. Seriously, those shows build up false hopes for girls.

Girls don't get fancy pants elaborate proposals. And only rich people get stupid expensive weddings. Honestly, I'd be happy to have a dinner and a movie date and get lucky at the end of the night. I think this just falls back on my weird desire to one day be romanced? I dunno. I just want to be swept off my feet. I know I say this a lot but it's true.

Sadly, I totally know what my tv show would be like.

I Propose
If I were on I propose, it would go something like this: he'd have 3 days to put the date together. He gets a ring. Ok, I don't need a ring, but for the sake of the show, we'll get one. He will know I don't want anything elaborate. No $10,000 2 carat ring. Maybe a simple little 1/8 carat something that doesn't cost more than $400. It would be either a princess or marquis cut solitaire on a white gold setting. He'd want to create the perfect "date" by trying to re-enact one of my favorite scenes from Dirty Dancing by taking me down to the river where we would dance on a log to Hey Baby (by Bruce Channel, not No Doubt.) Then, he would follow it up with a picnic on the side of the river with some of my favorite German deli meats and Dr Pepper. Then he'd ask me to marry him and I'd say yes and then the ending credits would role and they'd show a preview for Split Ends up next...

Who's Wedding Is It Anyway?
This show would run as follows: should I need to hook up with one of their planners, I'd ask for Suzanne. She's the one who does the budget weddings but tries oh so hard to make everyone's budget wedding into a princess wedding... which is totally what I do not want. I do not see myself as a frou frou princess type, so I should not have a frou frou princess wedding. In fact, my whole idea for a wedding has to do with the fact I wanted something that totally speaks about who me and my man are as a couple. So we would do the "Shotgun Wedding" theme. Basically it would be outdoors in the outskirts of who knows where. Guests would be invited and told to let us know which guns they will be bringing in their RSVP's. Reason being, wedding favors will be personalized ammo. There would be some sort of other crap for people who don't own guns or are (ugh) anti-gun but still come because they love us so much. The ceremony would be very short. Like under 10 minutes short. It would be out on the shooting area. The ceremony will be followed by a quick bbq session. There would not be any catering at all. All cooking will be done on the field by the bridal party. After all, it IS the job of the Maid of Honor and Best Man to make sure everything goes over swell on the wedding day so the bride and groom can enjoy their special day. There will be a few kegs as well as bottled beer and champagne bottles which would be used as skeet later on. After the bbq, there would be the um, cake ceremony. The cake would be simple. A German chocolate cake with sugar bullets lining the sides. After cake would be the party. No dj's in this wedding. Instead of a first dance, there will be a first gunshot. The bride and groom would do the initial shots from gun of choice (his and hers Mausers?) and that would be the start of the festivities. At that point, guests will be asked to go out and shoot. Beer bottles, cans, anything. It would end when people run out of ammo I suppose. Suzanne would be all sad cos she didn't get her frou frou princess wedding. I didn't even get to what kind of dress I would have! I have no idea what I want for a dress. I think I want to get married in a green dress. I just don't know that I want a traditional white dress since this really wouldn't be a traditional wedding. I might wear my cowboy boots. I just know a lot of our friends would really like it and a lot of our family members would be appalled and talk about how horrible it was and they can't believe we did that. Then the credits would role and there would be a preview for the next episode of Clean House.

I Propose average expenses of people on show: $5,000
My cost: $500 max.

Who's Wedding Is It Anyway? average expenses of people on show: $80,000
My cost: $1,500 max.

I think I put too much thought into this crap. :(

Monday, September 3, 2007

**** UPDATE: Mark, the mystery neighbor ****

I've noticed Mark has a tendency to sometimes go places in taxis on occasion. I guess he likes to go to bars or something. Anyway, last night my theory was proven. Jesse and I went to be early and around 10 or so Mark comes stumbling home, drunk. We were a little worried at first. We heard the security gate at the bottom of the hall slammed shut. Then someone came upstairs and there was a lot of doors slamming. Jesse got his Glock, just in case, and got up to check things out. I sat in bed waiting for him to give the OK sign, which he came back in and I asked if there was a taxi leaving and he said "Yes" to which I replied it was just Mark. He came to that conclusion as well. So he put up the Glock and we went back to bed. Shortly after, Jesse asked me if I heard music and I said no. He turned down the AM radio and listened. I still heard nothing. He got up and I got up and peed. I heard beats coming from Mark's apartment from the bathroom. I went back to bed and Jesse informed me the music was coming from Mark's place and that he was bumpin' Loverboy. I don't even know how to respond to that. Anyway, Mark likes to drink. I'm guessing his lady friend will be coming over tonight, seeing as it is a Monday. Ok that's all I got on him...