Wednesday, November 28, 2007


Today my stomach and I haven't been getting along very well. All day it's been a battle of gurgle, churn, fart, gurgle, churn, fart. Fart, fart, churn. Gurgle gurgle gurgle. On and off and on and off and then with the back ache or the stabbing cramp on the stomach. One thing or another. It's always something. I want to sleep and I know I won't be able to cos somewhere I'm gonna be awoken by a gurgle or a churn or a fart or some sort of bodily ache. Fuck me! I need my husband to get off the goddamn phone and rub my back or something NOW!!!!

Monday, November 26, 2007


Today I was able to sleep in! I felt so special! I woke up around 10:00. I may even go back to sleep! I think I finally figured it out. When Jesse left for work, I asked him to turn the radio off. He sleeps with the AM radio on. It becomes a distraction for me in the morning when I'm in that half up half asleep state and thus wind up just waking up and listening. Then I realize how boring the home and garden show is and leave to do other things. And then I'll take a nap somewhere between 1:00 and 4:00 to make up for my lack of morning sleep. I dunno. We'll hafta do something about his sleeping habits vs. mine if I ever want to sleep in again. Cos I gotta admit, I really liked it. Yawn. I'm gonna eat the rest of yesterdays waffles...


This morning I slept in and it was nice. Then later in the day after breakfast I decided to do laundry. I have no car so I put all our clothes into Jesse's basket along with the detergent and walked down to the lavandaria. I didn't realize how heavy the clothes were till I got a block away from our apartment. I would then walk a block, stop, put the basket down, take a break, pick it up, walk another block, and repeat. I utilized the time there to relax and gain back my arm strength. Upon the walk home, I spied a shopping cart and thought, "fuck it." I put the basket in the cart and used it to get home. By that point my back hurt too much to carry anything and I don't know what the hell I was thinking about doing laundry and shit. Let's just say it was a stupid idea. I need one of them old lady carts or something so I can do laundry and walk to the store or something on my days off. Ok, anyway, after I got home my day was wasted away on nothing. Eating my usual cream of mushroom Sunday soup in a can with excessive pepper and watching tv. Somewhere along the line of an hour ago I got a bit of a tummy ache and had some diarrhea. Then as of the last 5 minutes, I have this really disgusting gnarly craving for See's Candy. I even went to their website dammit! I don't know what the hell I was thinking! Even if I did have money to order from them online it wouldn't be here tonight! I want chocolate and truffles! I want holiday candy dammit! I can't stand it! I feel like I'm gonna cry. On top of it all, Jesse's working late tonight. All I want is some See's candy...

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Turkey Day

I had my fears yesterday about Thanksgiving. That the turkey wouldn't brown. Stuff wouldn't taste right. I dunno. But everything came out just fine in the end. All I had to worry about was soaking the roaster rack to get the turkey goo off of it. I was a little worried about that shit kid across the street cos our windows were open and we were all looking at him when he was trying to break his mom's door down and he kept saying shit to us yesterday. I think he was on drugs or something. But I was worried he would come back with his homeboys or something later on and try to do something to us. Fortunately, nothing happened last night and I guess neighbors must have called on him somewhere cos this morning we had a cop car circling that area and the rest of our neighborhood nice and slow like so that comforted me a little. Hopefully he'll be around the rest of the day since Jesse's at work and I'm all by my lonesome heh. Yesterday I threw up from getting noxious after picking up dog poo and I haven't felt too hot since. It never really left my system, that biley taste that ruins everything. I guess this nervous feeling hasn't helped my stomach any and maybe was a catalyst to me not wanting to/being able to eat as much as I could have yesterday. I think I enjoyed the cooking part and the boys enjoyed the eating part more. Anyway, I got all the food packed away in the fridge, all the dishes washed and ready to be housed, everything is good. I had the sorest feet last night from standing in the kitchen all day. Then when bedtime came, I had some weird hormonal crap where I felt all depressed and worried and couldn't sleep. Jesse rubbed my back even though it didn't hurt to try and lull me to bed. It worked. It was pretty funny how everyone checked out early last night courtesy overdosing on turkey downers. Anyway, tonight when Jesse gets off work, I'm due for a trip to the mall. Hopefully they're open late tonight. I need some new clothes. The end.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Hyphy bastard

The asshat kid on the other side of the street who always blasts his shit rap all day was trying to break into his apartment today. I guess his mom locked him out and he was kicking the door. Jesse and Hoss were having one of those what the shit? moments. Then the kid sees that we're all looking at him and starts talking shit and trying to be all hard. Whatever. I told the boys they should go down and beat his ass. What a turd. Obviously mommy doesn't want you around and neither do we. I don't know why some people feel like they need to ruin other people's Thanksgivings.

Thursday, November 22, 2007


Tonight Jesse was reloading and I was watching him and he was like "you wanna try?" Duh. So he showed me how to reload. He showed me on Saturday or Sunday night how to pop out the old primers but tonight I learned how to put in a new primer, pour the powder and put in the bullet. I don't know how to measure the powder. He has a magic device that you just lift a crank and it automatically pours the right amount so you get an even amount every time and don't hafta weigh it every time. It's pretty cool. I feel all slick now that I can reload. I feel like I have a new found skill that I will most likely utilize on my excessive time off or boredom periods. And it'll be one of those things where I'm doing busy work and amusing myself but doing something totally useful in the process. This is great! I think when I get money around Christmas I'll buy some stuff so I don't waste all of Jesse's reloading supplies and start reloading my own 9mm for whenever I shoot the P-38 or borrow the Sig. I'd like Jesse to get some .45 so we can take Bathroom Gun out. After all, if I win that Kimber, I'll hafta be more accurate with a .45, so... plus it'll be one of those things where I can reload .45 in hopes of getting that Kimber and if I don't, no harm, no foul, right? I'd like to reload for some of the guns we don't take out too often. And I'd like to reload some .223 so I can play with Jesse's AR-15 more and then I'll have a buttload ready for the day he gets my green AR-15 built. Yes, I see a lot of reloading in our future...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


So apparently Lulu has a favorite toy. This toy is Otter. Otter is a little stuffed otter with a squeaky inside. Otter is long and skinny and fluffy. We're not sure what it is that attracts her to Otter so much as he is very similar to other toys she has, that being, stuffed, soft, and squeaky. For a while her favorite toy was Hedgehog, but then when Otter came into the house, Hedgehog got thrown aside and Otter took the place of favorite toy. She could be chewing on something else and the minute she sees Otter, she drops what she's doing and runs to him. It's weird. Yea. That's all I got.

I fought HR and I won

I get this snide email yesterday about my insurance and that someone forgot to bill me for it last pay period so they were going to double my payment to get me "caught up". Our biz manager says that's not right and to fight it so I sent an email dispute to which I'm told that I knew I was going to hafta pay for insurance and that I shouldn't be shocked. I told her about it and she was like "WHAT!? I'm gonna talk to them about this.." And I said, "While you're at it, I think I was supposed to get a raise after 90 days. Could you look into that because I think that time may have passed and it hasn't been reflected in my paycheck yet." So she goes through my paperwork and sees my letter of hire and was like "Well, they should retro this pay. I'll call them." So she calls and faxes my info over in her words "that it better be on this next pay check." She does her job and is pissed that HR doesn't do theirs to make sure their employees are taken care of. Scumbags. Anyway, they agreed to split my payment up into 3 parts now conveniently. And I will be getting my retro pay on my raise. It's only an extra $1 an hour but when you have an extra $1 an hour times 200 something hours, it's a pretty penny. Needless to speak, I should have enough for rent this pay period (but Jesse will hafta buy the groceries this time around) and that come Christmas there should be a decent amount of money for presents. :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Deal of the Day!!!

At lunch the biz manager and I were doing our usual browsing of the Sunday paper ads and we found one for Linens and Things. The ad was buy a $15 roaster with rack get a $5 rebate and a free 15 piece knife set and block, turkey platter, two gravy boats, and salt and pepper shaker (an $80 value) so says the ad. Needless to speak, it didn't take a genius to figure this one out. I said "LET'S GO! If they have it we'll get one, if they don't we'll go back to work. Couldn't hurt."

So we get there and there's this stack of like 50 sets. We both get one. It was a great deal. I am totally a happy camper because I wanted to get a turkey platter for Thanksgiving. Now I have one. Plus I also have gravy boats! And my roaster (which I won't use this year since I have a disposable one and will use that to avoid excess dishes but I will use it for our Christmas ham!)

I'm psyched! I feel accomplished. I have sought out a great deal and succeeded with excellence! Hooray for values!!!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

********* UPDATE: Pie ********

I had to take a sit down and relax for a minute or two due to cramps and aches... and pry myself away from the pecan topping. I keep nibbling on it. There won't be any left at the rate I'm going!

All pastry crusts have been built. Apple pie pastry and lattice materials are set aside and waiting for filling.

I'm not a pumpkin pie fan but I tasted the pumpkin pecan pie elements and I think I might hafta have a slice of it. The filling is very sweet and creamy. The pecan mixture is very crunchy and sweet. It's currently on it's first round in the oven awaiting it's topping, which I can't keep my hands off of. It's a mix of ground up pecans, brown sugar, and butter. It's warm and delicious.

Anyway, one pie is partially done, the other is in the works. I suppose it's time I get back to cutting the apples. That will take a while and it's never fun, but what can I say, it's gotta be done...

********* UPDATE: Pie Part 2 ********

Well, now it's 10:25 in the night. Pies are completed and in the freezer. I kept swatting Jesse's grubby little wrist because he kept motioning like he wanted to eat the pumpkin pecan pie...

When he got off work he had this inquisitive nature to him as if he smelled something interesting but couldn't quite figure it out. He asked what I was making and I told him pie and the pumpkin pecan was baking and I was cutting apples for the apple. I then let him taste the topping. This must have increased the desire to eat the pie, having whet his taste buds for the delicousness.

After the 50 minutes baking I took it out and spread the topping. I strayed from the recipe and covered it with pecan halves in the style of a traditional pecan pie and brushed some butter over them to give them a gloss and buttery goodness. I'm rather impressed with how lovely that pie came out. Jesse was acting like a little boy saying "can't we just eat it tonight?" "NO." "Whyeeee???" "Because. It's for THursday." "Can't you just make another one?" "No. I don't like making dough. It's kinda a pain in the butt. THat's why I did them today." "Oh-kay...."

The apple pie was then put in shortly after and baked to a golden crisp. After cooling, they were covered and placed in the freezer to preserve for Thanksgiving. So there won't be a totally home made pie. Basically it'll be a thawed out and slightly re-heated pie, but hey, they started out home made. Besides they'll still be tasty. I can't wait to try the pumpkin pecan pie. Even though I don't like pumpkin pie, since I know what went in there and saw everything I have less of a fear about it, so I'm more inclined to taste it. Plus its my creation, so I gotta give it a whirl for my own personal critique.

After pie, dinner was made, I took that nice long bath I was thinking about all day and now we're snacking on brownie batter. We may need to bake some of it cos it seems rather abundant. We'll see. I'm ready for bed. I had a long day. I cleaned house, made 2 pies, cooked dinner while the hubby played with his new reloading press (which he has confirmed to be rather fond of... I'm glad!) and washed dishes. Whew! I think I deserve a good night's sleep... and a back rub. Jesse, take a hint!

Oh dear...

Thanksgiving is in a few days and it has come to my attention our apartment is well, a mess. It's one of those things where there is so much to do and so little time to do it. I'm probably stressing myself over nothing, but, Thanksgiving is only the beginning of it all. We still have Christmas, which is a whole other story. We need to find room for all the crap by the window so we can put up our Christmas tree. I know Jesse's going to be really fussy about that. I'm already visualizing how we can maximize our space. Personally I wish that stuff wasn't there so I could put a rocking/recliner there or something. There never seems to be enough sitting room in here. Ugh. There's an array of crap in here which is not mine, therefore I can't pack up or put away. That frustrates me. I have a lot of cleaning to do. Then somewhere in between all of that I need to bake and freeze two pies for Thursday, make dinner, and find time for a bath to relax my ever-so-sore muscles. I just feel drained like I can't even do anything. Yesterday really took a toll on me, from waking up at the buttcrack of dawn, to doing the laundry with an aching back, to shooting and coming home and making dinner and washing dishes. Sometimes I feel like I need a day off. Fortunately for me, that day will be at the end of this week and I will have not one, not two, but three days to relax...hopefully. I swear, if I had the money I'd go to one of them nice fancy day spas and just get like a nice long massage and all that other good stuff and just RELAX. I felt like I was falling asleep when I was having my hair done on Friday. I swear, stress hits me at every angle. Work, home, even 500 miles away from my family! That's not supposed to happen! It got so bad last Thursday, one of those days where anything that could possibly go wrong did, that by the time I got home, I plopped on the bed, took a deep breath and burst out bawling uncontrollably. Sometimes, I just feel helpless, like there is no end. Fortunately Friday was better. I hope this week goes by quickly and that we can go home early on Wednesday. I need to figure out how to maximize my oven and cooking time. And I need to remember to take my vitamin and drink my water.

If nothing else...

At least I got the apartment cleaned today. Now if only I could motivate myself to make the pies...

Friday, November 16, 2007


Good things happen to good people.

This morning in a meeting for a project we'll be working on next month. The client told me his idea for a cover concept and I told him mine. He was blown away with my suggestion and told me I am "on it" and tells my boss he has some "really sharp people" working for him.

My ads are 99% done. Those that didn't get done are waiting for camera ready stuff. Out of my control. I just did what I could and told the guy assembling the Orange Book the sizes and locations of the ads. That's all I can do.

I got my gun back today. A long ass time ago I pawned it cos we were really hard up for money. I did what I had to do. I used to worry when my mom would tell me how my dad lost his guns by pawning them. Well, I got my Lil' Deuce Deuce back and we shall never part again.

I had to run out of work early today to get my hair done. It came out pretty cool. I'm growing the black parts out and trying to get it to my natural color so I can do something else with it. Maybe dye it brown or red. Not sure yet. The back is really choppy layers so it looks bad ass. This new gal is a LOT cheaper and does a way better job. She's more interesting too. And gave me good tips for cooking turkey.

After, Jesse picked me up and we drove down to Sportsmans to pick up his birthday present. I budgeted $280 for his present. He got a reloading press. Then he got some other crap for it so he can start reloading this weekend. He said he would put some money in towards it cos he thought it would be too expensive but I told him with his discount it would probably even out. It did. It came out to $281.25. I saw the total and was like "YES!!!" I guess its not every day someone gets excited about a purchase that's almost $300 but hey, it was $1.25 over my budget. Won't kill anyone. I was psyched. Jesse's very psyched.

We took all his new birthday goodies home and walked down to the strip. We had dinner at Ichiban (Reno's version of Benihana inside Harrah's.) We had all sorts of shrimp, teriyaki chicken, filet mignon, and I had lobster. Jesse got some gay ass Panda drink, some frou frou melon flavored alcoholic drink, that came in a ceramic panda cup. I think that was the most exciting thing for him. Our chef was some sort of Hispanic guy and I looked at Jesse and joked, "So, Miguel, what part of Japan are you from again?" and Jesse looked back and responded, "Juarez". We snickered.

At the end of the night we had a nice little night. Jesse's totally getting a kick out of the birthday card his work gave him. I'm glad he had a nice birthday. I love my booger husband. :)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Port of Subs - How I am Loyal to Thee...

I had to go to the bank today not to my liking. I wanted to get something online and my debit card was not working, so since there's a bank down the street, I just went in and asked why. I was told that according to my request when I had my name changed on x date, to have my card deactivated and they deactivated it on the 12th of this month (Monday.) I also learned that I can no longer use this non-active atm card to pull money out of the atm, pay for purchase, basically it's useless. So I pulled out some cash while there and headed back on my lunch break.

I was near Subway and thought "I'll get a sandwich. As I opened the door, through the glass staring at me was the Port of Subs sign across the street. Granted, it was a farther walk from where I was at, and I had already walked about a mile, but, I was struck with a fit of desire! If I walk only a little farther, I can pay more for a tastier sandwich! Needless to speak, I closed the door to Wrong Way and trekked just a little further to Port of Subs. I got a salami sandwich with smoked cheddar on sourdough and a big cookie. Sure, I had lost 5 minutes from my eating time thanks to this decision, but it was worth it. I have realized today that I can no longer eat Subway or Quiznos, for my heart belongs to Port of Subs. Eat there and you will know.

A blog for the Prefered List

Ok, seeing as you are on this list, you are of the small group of people that know I'm already pregnant.

Anyway, this is a few gripes I have about pregnant women and being pregnant:

I finally didn't feel fat today but felt like I finally looked preggo. I was in a meeting with my boss, who told me I was starting to look pregnant. He knows because I hafta clear my days off with him. Plus he won't go blabbing around to everyone. Either way, I told him I was relieved he said that because I had been stressing over feeling fat and not pregnant for the last few weeks. I told him how a pregnant belly draws thoughts of "aww you're pregnant" while the fat belly draws looks of "eew, you're fat and have no self control."

None the less, I try to do things that make me feel better in my phase of rapid growth. Yesterday I got two new shirts. Stupid thing, I know, since I probably won't fit them in a few months. None the less, they were only $2.50 on a clearance rack, so who cares? And they are shirts that seem to accentuate my pregnant belly and make it look more pregnant than fat. Plus they are that really soft stretchy cotton/lycra with elastic in them, so who knows, maybe I'll be able to wear them longer than I hoped.

This morning I decided to wear make up. I haven't worn make up to work since Halloween. And the only reason I did that was cos I was dressed up. Before that, I think it was maybe back in August or even further when I actually started my job! Regardless, I always see to it that I dress nicely for work. I hate the philosophy pregnant women have that if your pregnant, that gives you the right to dress like a slob. That somehow lounge wear is allowed as outer wear. I don't believe anyone should wear pajamas as clothing. Especially if you're going to the doctors at 3:00 in the afternoon. You have no excuse for not getting dressed by then. And I don't believe you have the right to dress like the clubbing slut you were before you got pregnant while you're pregnant. You dress that way so you can get laid. When you're 7 or 8 months pregnant, it's obvious you can get some, you don't need to dress like you're still out on the prowl. It just comes off as tasteless.

Anyway, I guess I'm just making an innitiative to present myself nicely. Being pregnant isn't an excuse for me to let myself go. I still need to watch what I eat, how much water I drink, that I take my vitamins, and I don't see why I shouldn't also watch that I look nice as well. Personally, I think I look rather cute today. Just cos I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I can't wear my strappy silver wedge heels. Oddly enough, they're very comfortable.

Comfort is crucial for me. I mean, I'm sure that's why most preggos dress like slobs. Because it's comfy. But even still, I believe it's possible to look nice AND be comfy.

And on the lazy preggos. That doesn't give you a right to stop doing things. Yea, you get tired. Really tired. Like depression tired almost. You wake up for work and don't want to go, or come home from work and just want to sleep tired. None the less, don't let that kick you in the butt. Get over it. Get up. Get out and about. Wash the dishes. Make dinner. It's not a get out of jail free card for doing nothing.

Being pregnant can tire you and with the aches and pains of your body shifting shape and doing god knows what other unholy scary things, you get stressed. I've been losing gobs and gobs of hair whenever I shower or brush my hair. I don't worry about it. It grows back. That's my sign to take it easy and stop worrying. Of course when you have overbearing parents, its a little hard NOT to be stressed out. My mom seems to think that it's ok to call me at every god awful hour of the day to give me name suggestions for a child we don't even know the sex of yet! And all of her name suggestions are horrible, at that. She constantly suggests naming our child after her or my dad, completely forgetting the fact that this baby has a father who also has parents.

Another thing that stresses me out is having to hold my tongue on things. I haven't been able to tell all my friends or all my family yet because I don't want it to get back to Jesse's mom and have her find out second hand and then feel bad like we never planned on telling her or that she was the last to know. It's one of those things that IS a big deal, that you DO want to tell everyone about. And it sorta sucks and stresses me out sometimes about having to hold my forked tongue.

Anyway, I get hungry earlier. Which is fine with me. My back hurts more than I can explain. Tylenol has easily become my best friend. I greatly appreciate whenever Jesse rubs my back. It's one of those things that can lull me to sleep. And seeing as I wake up 4 to 6 times a night to pee, sleep is also greatly appreciated in my current state.

What do I miss most about my non-pregnant life? Drinking alcohol? No. I could care less. Soda? Sometimes, although I find most sodas too sweet to drink now days and they sort of repulse me. Sex? Nah. That's still good and fine. Better, even! No, the one thing I miss more than anything else in the world is my bladder control. I pee more than an old lady or a diabetic. I must go once or twice per hour at work. Fortunately, now that I'm a week away from starting the second trimester, it's getting slightly better. Slightly being the operative word. Instead of one or two times per hour its one or two times per 2 hours. That's not much progress. Besides, as I finally get used to in in 3 months, it'll only get bad again as I get to the third trimester.

Am I am emotional roller coaster? No. I mean, I don't think I am. I guess the answer to this one is more up to Jesse and those around me. My mom thinks I've actually become a little nicer. Who knows. I don't feel like my moods are all out of whack. I mean, I have emotional spurts now and then. Usually when I'm alone or in bed and have silence and time to think and reflect. Mostly anxieties. Fears about maternity leave (since my company is small and doesn't pay for it) Fears about feeding issues. How will I make it that first month? Second? Third? Fears about belly buttons falling off and circumcisions. Fears about how Lulu will react to all of this. Mostly just fear. There's no manual as to how to do everything. There's no right or wrong. It's all hit and miss. I worry that maybe I'm not doing anything right that I don't have lists of questions to take in to the doctors. That I'm just relying on my instincts to let things happen naturally and go with the flow, is that a bad thing? Will we be good parents? Will we be able to find daycare for an infant? When should I start looking? What are we going to do about a baby shower since all our friends and family are back home? How many people are going to be pestering us to be around the home 24/7 after we have the baby? Better yet, even though it's all about the baby and everything is done for the baby, at what point do I get to rest? Is it a sin that I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulder? Or to want to just put my feet up and take a break once in a while?

Sigh. I need some food in my tummy, STAT!

Monday, November 12, 2007


Yesterday I was going for a walk with the pug dog and I saw a bunch of houses in our neighborhood for sale. I'm guessing a lot of them bought when prices were high and can't pay for them now and are forced to forclose or sell. Either way, I was looking at some homes online this morning in our neck of the woods. I found two that rather tickled my fancy. I thought I'd post them so you LA kids could gawk at the prices. I know how you can't get a home like this in LA for under $500k. These are half the price, even less. I wouldn't mind living in either of these. Especially cos they both have fireplaces and are adorable. Plus one has really spectacular wood paneling. I guess this is one of those times I really wish I had $200k to spend on something practical. Forget the $80k wedding, I want a house!!!

Saturday, November 10, 2007


So before going to work, Jesse puts on this thing on the history channel about the history of salty snack foods. They're talking about the history of chips. Did you know they were originally served as part of your meal in fine restaurants? Hahahaha. Anyway, enough of learning about chips has got me craving some of that good fried salty stuff. I bet Jesse's gonna have chips today at work. We were both sitting there drooling wanting chips. Grrr.

Lifetime movies: more entertaining than you'd think

So, the past few weekends, I pass through channels searching for something of entertainment and I always find myself landing on Lifetime. First off, there's a huge misconception about Lifetime. People think it's some channel with shows driven towards women's needs. I think Lifetime is more like the channel of after-school-specials for adults and teens. Movie themes range from domestic violence, date violence, weird cult relationships, and so on. They start off as hokey movies. But at the end they have some sort of moral message being stated either in the form of narration, judge or other character's monologue, or what have you. They all appear to have been filmed in the mid to late 90's and have the worst writers. Dialog is wretched. Shows are like train wrecks. You can't help but want to watch them despite how horrible they are. Perhaps I'm a sucker for this kind of low level entertainment? I dunno. I just find it ridiculously amusing. I tend to laugh out loud during the "dramatic" scenes. I find them funny. The writers probably don't. They want to send out a message. Either way, maybe some woman out there watches it and thinks "all men are abusive pigs" and I sit there rooting the guy on "hit her in the face! Grab her hair and slam her against the wall!!! Throw that tea pot full of hot water at her!!!" I guess it's that same sick sense of humor I get when I root on Ike every time I watch What's Love Got To Do With It? Perhaps cos I've never been in that kinda situation and it's funny cos it's fictional and not happening to me? Who knows. Some new show is on now about someone having their child kidnapped... can't wait to see this...

Friday, November 9, 2007

Most extreme of uncoolness

So yesterday I stayed home from work cos I wasn't feeling too hot. I went and got my bloodwork done nice and early. Then I had a glimmer of feeling better for a short period so Jesse took me to breakfast at iHop. Earlier my mom called and I told her I'd call back later. Post iHop, I call back and wind up talking to her for some 3 hours. It was crazy. I find my way back to bed for a bit because the not so good feeling returns. Then it gets gnarly. Sometime around while dinner is in the oven, my stomach takes a turn for the worst. I develop this uncomfortable diarrhea. It's not like the kind where once you get it out you're good. It was the kind that lingered. It got out and then my stomach felt ok again enough to eat. But after dinner it returned. Then once again while Jesse was on the phone, and again at 1:33 in the morning. I don't want to Jinx things. It's been a long time since I've gone. But I still don't feel too hot. Ugh.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


One of my friends works for Benefit cosmetics in Macy's out here. She kept telling me that this winter they'd have an awesome line. So in a hint of down time, I decided to take a gander at their website and she was right! Their limited holiday gifts are so cool this year. Every year they have the cute palates usually revolving around one of their blushes they feature. I have the Dandelion palate from a few years ago. This year's they're featuring 10. It's a pink and bronze based palate. The thing that snagged my attenion though was the Best of Benefit beauty bag essentials containing the Dallas blush, Bad Gal mascara, and eye bright pencil. The best of Benefit iconic classics set is pretty swanky too. It also has Bad Gal mascara, but this set includes Dr. Feelgood skin mattifier and Benetint lip/cheek color. Other cool items include the Her Glossiness 6 color lip gloss set and Powder Pop! cheek colors. Anyway, Benefit is all kinds of awesome. I may need to do some holiday shopping there :)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

How long???


This is the most interesting thing I've read in a long time. The sad thing about it, you can see it coming.

I have always heard about this democracy countdown. It is interesting to see it in print. God help us, not that we deserve it.

How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier:

'A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.'

'A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.'

'From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.'

'The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years'

'During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;

2. From spiritual faith to great courage;

3. From courage to liberty;

4. From liberty to abundance;

5. From abundance to complacency;

6. From complacency to apathy;

7. From apathy to dependence;

8. From dependence back into bondage'
Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota, points out some interesting facts concerning the 2000 Presidential election:

Number of States won by:
Gore: 19
Bush: 29

Square miles of land won by:
Gore: 580,000
Bush: 2,427,000

Population of counties won by:
Gore: 127 million
Bush: 143 million

Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:
Gore: 13.2
Bush: 2.1

Professor Olson adds: 'In aggregate, the map of the territory Bush won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of this great country.
Gore's territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in government-owned tenements and living off various forms of government welfare...' Olson believes the United State s is now somewhere between the 'complacency and apathy' phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the 'governmental dependency' phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegal and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.

If you are in favor of this then delete this message if you are not then Pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.

Thanks for reading.

Ignorance breeds misconceptions

For shits and giggles, today I was google imaging random feminist stuff and came across this rather annoying little liar of an avatar:

It wants one to believe that prior to the feminist revolution, women had zero rights. They could not vote. They couldn't wear pants. They couldn't own property. And they had zero, count that, zero rights. I see this avatar and try to put myself into someone less educated shoes. Upon which I think before the feminist movement, women were nothing more than God fearing baby making machines who could only do what their husbands told them to do.

Ok, let's get something straight. Today's "feminists" think it all started in the 60's and 70's with the Frankenthalers, Shermans, and Krugers of the art world. Granted these are all the ignorant thinkers of the so called "art" scene, quick to judge, slow to reasoning. They forget that feminism started way before. Like, oh, mid 1800's for the US of A, anyhoo. And women spent many years before hand to get the right to vote. That's all they were bitching about. Because women just wanted to be able to vote.

Feminist Misconception 1: Women cannot work
Women have been working since the dawn of time. Maybe they didn't get paid the same, but why would you pay a woman what a man makes if she is not capable of outputting the same amount of work. Would you pay a woman to lift 40 lb. bags of grain to and fro several times a day if she can only haul 10 bags before getting sore when a man can do 20 or 30? I say no. It has nothing to do with unequal treatment, it has to do with facts. Until you can truly show a woman capable of doing the same work a man can do, then I say they can get the equal pay. However, women have been working in jobs, making money, hell, lots of women were even entrepreneurs owning their own brothels and making more money than some men. How's that for you ignorant feminists?

Feminist Misconception 2: Women can't wear pants
Whoever came up with this rule must also believe women can't wear shoes, shirts, or get their hair cut. This is the most ass-backward stupid feminist propaganda yet. Women have been wearing riding pants to ride horses, pants to work in the fields, even bathing suits. Sure, the pants movement might not have started till the 1800's but that's not to say it never happened. What a crock of femmeshit.

Feminism Misconception 3: Women couldn't own property
Which is why there were so many women who owned the land they lived on with their husbands after their husbands passed away. Or why women who ran brothels owned the buildings they were working out of. Or why women who's husbands went to war were allowed to stay and live in their homes and weren't kicked out onto the streets, having the government take their land away because they were women. Seriously, whoever made that little avatar makes women sound totally ignorant and stupid for believing crap like this.

Ok so back to our feminism timeline. Women get the right to vote in 1920. Whatever. Women and politics don't mix. Women think with their hearts, not with their heads. Allowing women the right to vote is like opening a can of worms and foreshadowing the decline of civilization and the birth of the bleeding heart liberals to come.

So yes, the one thing the women's rights moment has done so far is grant women the right to vote, which, obviously as time has showed us, is a bad thing. Now we have uppity women in office like that no-good Nancy Pelosi who want to take away all our rights, or that half-wit Hillary Clinton, who actually thinks she can do a man's job of running the country. Hillary, just because you can control your husband, doesn't mean you can control the country. Besides, everyone knows you'd just ruin it. And it would be like strapping a dick on your crotch, you'd have it, but you wouldn't know the first thing to do with it.

And so time progresses, women start to want to have the right to birth control. I have very mixed opinions on this issue. Innitially, if you weren't careful about sex, you'd get pregnant. Virginity was always important for brides to be. Men could screw around but you would never marry a woman who did so. It was noble to be married a virgin bride and in some cultures, they even hang your soiled bed sheet out the window after the wedding night to prove you were a virgin. Go figure. I'd think it would be more humiliating for my small town to know I got laid that night in an era of prudeness than for them to know I wasn't a virgin. None the less, women want to be sluts. Masturbation is a sin or not healthy, but sleeping around out of wedlock isn't. Go figure. People are just weird.

Anyway, with the birth control revolution comes on this whole new demoralizing of sex. Sex goes from a beautiful act between husband and wife to consumate their marriage and procreate, to some sort of wild pleasure trip. Don't get me wrong, I love sex. I also love my husband. So sex and feminism is probably one of the most taboo things because female sexuality outside of procreation has always been looked upon as negative. From the whole dressing too provocatively because doing so implies you are trying to get some to the fact that instead of being a mother and a wife you are reverting to a whore and everyone knows no one wants to marry a whore. Being sexually liberated springs on concerns that a woman may become "bored" of her husband and not stay faithful to him. She may display signs of sexual perversions the church may lable as devious. Or even worse, she might find no pleasure from the penis and be the biggest of all sexual deviants: a lesbian! Gasp! And everyone knows lesbians can't procreate and sex with them is soleley for pleasure and therefore vile!

Woah. I'm getting too out of line.

So women want a way to screw around and not get caught. Thus the birth of birth control gets popular. Sure, it's existed in weird ways for centuries from herbal remedies to working around one's menstrual cycle, but fact of the matter, a pill and condom are a lot easier to use and abuse. So the pill doesn't come around till 1960 and everything pretty much falls apart then. That's when you get the beginning of the free love crap because everyone's on the pill and hopped up on drugs and not worried about getting pregnant. Joy. Now all you have to worry about are AIDS and other STD's. Lucky!

Well, before the jolly invention of the pill, we had abortions. Those were always fun. God loves abortions. What? He doesn't? You mean, if I murder my unborn fetus from a man I have no idea who it belongs to, that's still a sin? Even though I don't want this child and can't afford to pay for it and I'm only 16?

Yes, abortions. Women could get them. Then they couldn't. Then they could again. Finally they could do it in a safe environment and not worry about those dirty coathanger abortions in a back alley somewhere. Now they could go into a hospital and pay a buttload of money and be lectured about how they're a slut and need to be careful and here's some condoms have fun and go back to being a slut. Right. Gee it's great to be a woman. I'm sure lots of women really appreciate the right to be able to murder their unborn children repetitively in order to keep having meaningless sex.

Murder must really make one's self feel real liberated. Hell, even MEN don't have the right to murder legally, but women, they have a CHOICE. Because it's their body that an unborn child reside in, they have the RIGHT to kill it. Does that mean if a man has a woman he does not want in the house he resides in, he has the right to kill her? I think not. Murder is murder either way.

Lesson learned: if you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex. If you get pregnant and you're using birth control, maybe it's a sign. There's more to life than just sex, people. Who cares if you planned on having a kid or not. It's not really up to you to say "hey, this is in MY body, therefore I have the right to kill it."

Now, there are occasions I do feel abortions are a positive thing. That being rape and incest victims. There is no reason a woman who has been raped should have to give birth to the child of her attacker, or a girl who is a victim of incest should bring into the world some inbred child. However, those are my thoughts on abortion. If women want to murder a child they had unplanned with a boyfriend or a one night stand, ultimately, the government, who should by no means have any say in what we do in our day-to-day lives, has mandated that it is up to the woman to choose what she wants to do. Even they realized that there's a lot of open legged sluts in the world. God bless them for catering to the whores of the nation and allowing those same whores the right to vote on such issues and those same whores the right to run for office. God bless them.

Anyway, I guess my point in being is that women abuse feminism. It's not the right to be an annoying liberal slut. It's innitialy about the right to vote. Because honestly, that's the only thing women really wanted. They wanted equal rights. They had everything a man could have, except the right to vote. And the biggest misconception now is that before the 1960's and 1970's women had nothing. And that is wrong. Women had a lot. Women had great husbands and families. Women had money to go shopping. They had the right to own guns. They were able to drive cars, ride in the front of the bus, and hell, they could even be sluts if they wanted to, it was just frowned upon. Thing is, they couldn't vote. As of 1920, they could. So to all those nice little nu-feminists huffing and puffing around about rights, shut up, go home and put on a Le Tigre album and eat a pussy. Women have all they need. You're obviously of the idle rich group with nothing better to do than protest some "cause" no one really gives a shit about.

I'm not some man telling women what to do. I'm not some Christian extremist preaching the word of God. I'm just a woman. A woman who is sick of certain individuals ruining the reputation of the female species. Not all women are mouthy sluts. I'm preaching morals. I'm preaching hard work. I'm preaching dignity. I love my country, my God, my rights, and I especially love my husband. That doesn't make you better than me. Equality my ass. Your ignorance is the mother of misconception.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Good Husband

Friends see him as the good friend, the buddy, the pal. Employers and customers see him as the hard worker, the man who can answer your every question. I see him as the good husband and loving (pug dog) father. He provides for his family. Never argues unless its something worth fighting for. Compliments when compliments are due. Appreciates his wife and a home cooked meal. Makes sure his wife takes her vitamins and drinks her water and praises her for doing so. Sees to it things get done. Is a man of his word. Rubs his wife's back or tummy when she has cramps. Kisses his wife and pug child every day to let them know he loves them and thinks about them. Takes off his wife's glasses when she falls asleep in bed watching tv. Never complain about taking his wife to and from work. Will take a late lunch on days he works late to take her home. Never complains or picks on his wife's faults, but helps her find ways to improve them. Protects the family. Will run out late at night for brownie mix. Surprises his wife with little candies or other treats. Never lets his wife feel left out. Is always supportive even if he's not 100% in favor of his wife's decisions. Is the man of the household, and makes it very clear. Yes, I have the good husband. And for that I am the good wife. I love my Booger and think of him sometimes at random moments, knowing that in a few hours I will see him again, thus making my day that much better. :)

Meeting the Quota

I gotta drink like half a gallon to a gallon of water a day. And it sucks all kinds of ass because 1. I hate water, and 2. I don't even drink close to half a gallon of anything throughout the day. I googled how many ounces are in a gallon, because I'm not a genius, and found that there is 128 oz. per gal. If I drink at least 64 oz. a day, I'm in good shape. I usually have a fairly easy time drinking water at home. I usually go through one or two 20 oz. bottles of water fairly easily. So the issue arises at work. I learned today that my magic water glass is 12 oz. Doing the math, if I have 2 glasses throughout my work day, one starting in the morning and then a refill at lunch and nurse that shit from 8 - 5, I get in 24 oz. Plus my two 20 oz. I drink at home, I barely meet my half gallon quota for the day. I need to be really strict and make sure I stick to this. I'm on the low end of the water totem pole. If I go over, better. Water is "good" for you and prevents dizziness, swelling, and promotes a good diet. Plus it flushes out whatever crap may be in your body. I really hate this natural crap. However in the past week or two I've had to stop drinking DrPepper, not cos it's bad for me, but because I can't tolerate the taste of it! WTF!? Right? It's suddenly too sweet for my taste and makes me feel sick? So if I do drink soda, I hafta drink Coke cos it's a little more bitter. God knows what the hell that's all about. Weird shit's, kids, weird shit. So yea, up the water. Try to avoid the salt. And sugar. And anything fun and tasty. Just kidding.

Don't feel so put out...

I got a letter in the mail yesterday telling me if I didn't submit proof of previous insurance coverage I could be put on hold for 6 months because of possible pre-existing conditions and not have coverage till May. This, for obvious reasons, could be a very bad thing as it cost and arm and a leg for medical service when you don't have insurance. Anyway, seeing as I don't have millions of dollars to throw away every time I go to the doctor's, I had to call. Of course, there was the torrential cloud of doom looming over my head all night about this issue, making relaxation nearly impossible. However, all was well in the end.

I called up this morning and much to my dismay get put on hold. I have a meeting in a few minutes so I hang up. I call after the meeting again. I need to get my HIPPA certificate stating my dates of coverage. So I get put on hold and finally get a hold of one lady. She tells me she's for my current account and transfers me to the California division. I hold and then I get another lady. She tells me I'm in the small group and I need the large group division. She transfers me. I'm on hold for 9 minutes according to their timed recording. Finally I get through to one more lady. I tell her I need my HIPPA certificate so my coverage doesn't get put on hold till May and explain the circumstances to her. She says she'll mail it out to me and I ask her to fax it instead. She does the sigh of being "put out" of her way and tells me that I'll have to wait a while so she can type it up. I tell her I'll wait. This is a matter of hundreds and possibly thousands of dollars I don't have and need to save. She then gets back and says she'll fax it over to me in 20 minutes. I say OK and we hang up. 20 minutes pass. I don't get my fax. I go to lunch and some hour plus later the fax comes through.

Seriously, has customer service gone to shit that much that people make it audible how put out they feel by having to do their job? I mean, you get PAID to do this stuff. It's not like I'm asking you to do someone else's job. I'm asking you to do YOUR job. Is it too much to ask of you? Some people are just unbelievable.

Monday, November 5, 2007


Is a strong word. So I mean it with all my heart when I say I really fucking HATE water. There. I said it. I can't fathom drinking a glass of water or a cup of water. It needs to be water done up in order for me to drink it. Tea. Lemonade. Carbonated. Mineral. Just none of that regular crap. And to hell with water snobs! Just because you drink Vitamin water or Fiji doesn't make you cool or better than everyone else! It just means you're willing to pay money for something everyone else can get from the tap. For anyone to tell me I need to drink between half a gallon and a gallon of water a day, SCREW YOU! I'll do it but only because I HAVE to, not because YOU'RE making me do it. I drank I suppose maybe a half a gallon yesterday. When I went to bed I woke up 4 times within the course of maybe an hour to pee. After that I slept fine.

Tiny Helicopter

I've had the sounds of a tiny helicopter flying around stuck in my mind since Friday afternoon. I can't shake that sound. I keep hearing chook-chook-chook-chook-chook ringing throughout my head.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Almost burned down the apartment

So I just now almost burned our apartment down. Thank god for our smoke detector. I was boiling some water. There must have been some sort of residual spill on our burners because I turn around to close the bedroom door so the smoke detector stops and realize there is a BIG ASS FLAME on the stove. We have an electric stove. So I blow the thing out and all is fine in the world. I open a window to let the "smoke" out. I expect a little bit of smoke but no no nooo. It's like this ridiculous haze throughout our living room. This is why it's a bad thing that I cannot smell. Did I smell any smoke? No. Can I smell the smoke now? No. I mean, it looks like the fog came in to our living room right now. It's pretty bad. I'm not coughing or choking or reacting to smoke in any way shape or form other than the fact it's making my vision of the TV a little hard. Anyway that's my adventure for the day. I'm gonna go back to attempting to make my lunch and get the smoke out of this joint.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Hypothetic Question of Disappointment

Is it possible to forget something significantly important over the course of month? Is it something that was intentionally forgotten, as if to wipe the thought out of your mind the idea no longer existed? Oddly enough, as disappointed as I am, I'm not the least bit surprised. I was rather expecting the response I got. Perhaps this knowledge of forgetfulness, intentional or not, brings upon fear. Hold me, I need support...

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Mountains out of mole hills

Somewhere along the lines of 2 years ago I was diagnosed as being bipolar with catastrophic thinking tendencies. I'd make mountains out of molehills and wind up having anxiety attacks. I wasn't good at choosing my battles. I'd make the miniscule things of extreme importance and the very important things insignificant. Slap some drugs on a situation and it would be ok, right? Wrong. I turn into a zombie and the depression side of things becomes more extreme. So I figure I'll do things the au-natural way. No drugs, just the power of the mind. The one thing I learned was that I had to omit all negative aspects of my life which I could control. Once I did that, life changed dramatically. I didn't need drugs, just to get rid of the people who were keeping me down. Eventually I realize there is too much negativity in LA so I leave complete. The one time I did return I was stressed out and disappointed.

What does this have to do with anything? I dunno. I thought maybe there was some relevance in there somewhere. I guess it's back to the catastrophic thinking part. Only this time I have reasoning for freaking out. It's one of those things I can control but the circumstances are what make things stressful on me. It all boils down to differences of opinions. You disagree about something and then don't talk about it for a long time in hopes that you think not talking will make the other agree with you or make the situation completely disappear. But it doesn't. I don't think so. Once again tomorrow is time to confront those issues all over again. Perhaps another teary debate? Perhaps support, or is that just wishful thinking?

You can't plan your life. It happens and you make the best of it. Wishful thinking is all I have keeping me going. Too bad I tend to make up happy thoughts to convince myself everything will be alright. Damn you, optimistic Reno. Sometimes I wonder what God has in mind for us...