Wednesday, January 28, 2009


This morning I had to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn to go in for a 7:45AM teeth cleaning. I just keep thinking, "Who does that? Who goes to the dentist that early?" Then I thought, "It's probably for people who like doing things before work," and I thought, "Who likes doing things before work? That's just not right."

Anyway, whenever I go to the dentist, I think of Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors. His amazing portrayal of the sadist dentist. Usually I don't freak out at the thought. It's more the sounds. Scraping. Drilling. Stuff like that. But my teeth were good and just needed cleaning so no biggie.

I woke up early and left Charlie at home with Jesse. It was so cold outside still that my windows kept frosting over after scraping the frost and ice off, even after I had the car running and defroster on.

Well I get there and park in their parking lot and there's only one car out. The doors to the building are locked and I'm thinking, "Is someone playing some sort of cruel trick on me? Making me wake up before 8:00AM and coming out in the cold to be greeted by locked doors?" I go to the other entrance, also locked. Finally, I head back again to call and the door gets unlocked by one of the dentists who asks if I'm there for a teeth cleaning and then says their dental hygienist is running late because of a flat tire. That's fine.

About 20 minutes later the hygienist calls back. There's an issue with the spare so her husband is going to pick her up and drop her off. By this time the receptionist is there and asks me if I want to come back another day. Are you kidding me? I woke up before 8:00AM, I'm sitting in your office right now and you want me to come back? I tell her no and that she is gonna hafta take me because I'm already there and I'm not gonna do this again. Period. So she calls the next appointee and tells them to come back another day and all is fine.

Finally, my 7:45AM teeth cleaning happens around 8:30AM. To give you an idea of how tired I am from everything in general, I fall asleep during my teeth cleaning in the dentist chair. Not like I'm at a day spa or something, I'm at the damned dentist! Finally I wake up to rinse, all groggy and tired. But I get a new toothbrush, a blue one, and I ask for another color because my husband's brush is blue and I request green and get green. Yeah, you better give me my choice of toothbrush color. After all, you were the late one, not me. Honestly, I should be able to charge you $40 for being late. I'm sure they'd do that if I were late. I know they will if I don't call within 24 hours to cancel an appointment. Geez.

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