Monday, March 30, 2009

The Mth Blog!!!

Jesse, peeking over my shoulder just asks, "The M-th blog? What's that?"

I thought I'd be clever here. For those of you too dense [thank you, Jesse - I'm having a slight writing block here and every interruption throws my train of thought off] to google, M is the Roman numeral for 1000. Yes, this is the 1000th blog entry I've ever made. In some 8 years, I have managed to find 1000 random things to write about. Some substance worthy, some not. So let's make this blog something about accomplishments.

For starters, the original accomplishment I was going to write about is a first for me ever. I weigh less than my husband. Last I weighed myself, I was 147 lbs. He was 150 lbs. I know it's not a huge difference but the fact of the matter is that in the 1.5 years we've been married, the 1.5 years we dated, or the 2 years we were friends before that, I have always weighed more than Jesse. Sometimes by not much, sometimes, as in my pregnant days, by a lot. But for once, I am finally lighter than him. So, accomplishment #1. Yay me.

Accomplishment #2: I have paid off 80% of my non-student loan related ghosts of debts past. Only two left are fairly big ones including one old credit card and my c-section costs.

Well, that's really the only accomplishments I can think of for now. I want to watch House. I think if my accomplishment were to stop watching tv, I would fail miserably.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

You don't live in a cave

It always pisses me off when people try to undermine your intelligence or play you for a fool. The element in our life who abandoned their friends cats to move is trying to pull a pity trip on us. Again they can't look for work because they have no internet. Granted their dad does and it works fine for him but it doesn't work for the nomad. Jesse suggested a place with free wifi like a Starbucks or library. The person says there aren't any Starbucks out there and the library doesn't have internet. Are you kidding me? What kinda assholes do they take us for to believe that shit?! I checked my phone browser and found 5 Starbucks listings in their area! I don't know why everyone puts up with that person's crap but if they ever call and try to pull their shit on me I'm gona tear them a new one with that slap in the face get your shit together cos I'm not gona do it for you tough love they should have got ages ago. I'm sick of everyone trying to make excuses for that lazy apathetic bum.

Worst night ever.

Last night was like the night from hell. Long before Jesse got off work, I started feeling really sick. Around the time he got home, whatever was bothering me was hitting hard and fast. 9:00 pmish I vomit. I rinse my mouth and have some water and sit on the couch. Not too long after, I throw up again, but this time it's just water. Now I feel super dehydrated but every time I drink water, it comes out. I must have puked a good 6 or 7 times in a 3 hour period. Of course just as my puke spree is coming to an end, Jesse starts to puke. Nothing beats taking turns and holding your vomit so you can share the toilet. The worst was when I woke up at 11:47 to feed Charlie and just as he started to eat I get the feeling and put him in his crib and run to puke. He was so freaked out he didn't want to eat afterward. Charlie slept in our bed after that and it was so cute the way him and Lulu were cuddling to keep warm. Poor Jesse was shaking so bad and couldn't stop. The night in general sucked. I'm glad it's over. Hopefully we don't have any relapses.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

2 Guys and 2 Ducks

I don't even know how to explain this one. Seriously. I went to Sally Beauty today to get some hair dye so I could try and re-do my hair before the gun show. Anyway, next to the Sally Beauty is this place, 2 Guys and it's a Chinese restaurant/takeout/delivery place. As I'm walking up there, I see two ducks. Ducks. Take in mind they are totally lost as there's no locations where ducks hang out anywhere remotely near this place. I know in the winter you get honkers strutting around town like they own the place but the ducks was a bit odd. When I left Sally Beauty, there was an Asian man with a pet carrier trying to get the ducks into it. I look at him like I have no idea how to comprehend what he's doing other than trying to get the ducks in there so he can take them inside to make a meal with them or something. When he sees me looking at him, he starts to flail his arms and goes, "Shoo-shoo!" and tries to tell me these ducks come here often and he's trying to get rid of them. Right. I know what you people eat. I know ducks are on the menu. I bet they got loose when you were going to kill them to cook up and I bet you were trying to catch them. Don't lie to me Asian stranger. Don't give me that. Don't even give me that, you're busted!

I'm the epitome of all that is Marge Simpson

Today we received a letter in the mail telling us to "save the date" for our friends' wedding next year. In Italy. Like there's any way in hell we'll be able to afford that. I mean, we gotta save like crazy just to get to visit folks back home and two of the three of us don't even have passports so, yeah. That's not gonna happen. Not that I don't want to go. Originally they were going to have their wedding in Catalina and I was super excited. I was thinking Jesse and I could go and leave Charlie with my mom for a weekend and it could be like a honeymoon we never got. But they decided to do Italy instead because if they did a "hokey" Catalina wedding, then they couldn't afford a honeymoon and wanted to go to Europe so they figure kill two birds with one stone and I can see where they're going on that one. But not everyone sees eye to eye on it, especially family members who might not be able to afford going out there. Some people see it as a sly way to exclude them. I know some people do destination weddings intentionally for that purpose but I know that's not their case.

But this gets me thinking about weddings. I know, I dwell on this way too much! Jesse gets annoyed at blogs of this nature. I still want a wedding dammit! Jesse swore I told him I didn't want a wedding. I clearly recall telling him we couldn't afford a wedding. I then suggested we do a chapel because I could swing that. But there was a lot of hassle involved with the chapel with a deposit, payment options, time of day and basically it worked out that our witnesses couldn't make it if we did the chapel. I even recalled calling 4 or 5 places in town, 3 were booked, one was way too expensive and the other was just jumping through hoops. So we shot machine guns instead. Shooting was fun but I just feel like part of me thinks I deserve a wedding and wearing a nice dress and walking down an aisle. I've seen a lot of people get married in my life, most of which end in divorce. I feel like I've worked so hard to be the best possible wife I can be and I even worked hard to be the best potential wife before we got married. I certainly thought that one day, if all our ducks were in a row, we would have a wedding of sorts. Alas, that has never happened. We're 6 months shy of being married 2 years now. I think if we followed our original plan of getting married on paper and then a year later having a wedding, it would have been nice. Of course we had serious financial setbacks. If we were to do something 2 years later that would be weird. Now the only thing I can think of would be if we did something 5 years later and I guess at that point we could do a vow renewal ceremony or something. But that seems tacky if it's not genuine. Like if the only reason we do it is because one of us, me, wanted a wedding and never got it because we were broke and there was a misunderstanding. So I guess this will be my life regret that the wedding I wanted since a child to fulfill my girlish dreams of getting married and being the perfect housewife will be doled out to those around me who never felt that way and could give half a shit. They'll have sleek, chic, modern, classy, traditional and destination weddings. I'll just have a lost dream to file away into my "things I wanted to do but never will be able to" box that also include such things as be completely debt free, be in good health, be fashionable, travel to fascinating locations, and own a home. Oh well. I'm the epitome of all that is Marge Simpson.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Pretty in pink

I've been finding myself wearing pink more often again. It's kinda weird. I find it odd that there's some movies that we'll watch whenever they're on despite how many times we've seen them or whether we own it on dvd or not. Right now: Big Trouble in Little China.

Makes my heart feel all squishy and warm!

A bunch of old Myspace messages back and forth between me and Jesse before we ever wound up dating.

* * * * * * * *

Apr 3, 2006 10:30 PM
Here's a good one i found which you probably have seen before, but i know you dig the poop humor, so take a gander and cheer up......

Apr 3, 2006 10:50 PM
Thanks, yeah my friend left that as a comment for me. Its pure genius!!!

Apr 3, 2006 10:55 PM
Indeed!! So how've ya been fool, I havn't talked at ya in ages!
Oh yeah, the big news, I'm going to Gunsmithing school in the fall!

Apr 3, 2006 11:34 PM
Gunsmithing??? Dude... dude... two words: fuckin awesome.
I'm bein like John Kerry and flip floppin on a daily basis. One day im happy one day I'm sad. Right now I'm in a happy place cos I got my vacation plans squared away :)

Apr 3, 2006 11:36 PM
Yep I'm there with ya, one day happy, the next horribly sad.


Apr 10, 2006 11:16 PM
So when are we going shooting??? I wanna go blast stuff, but not by myself, you up fer it??

Also whens the next ghost town trip, I found a website that has tons of ghost towns, and I wanna get into the act!

Apr 11, 2006 10:57 AM
Loan me a gun and I'm down to go. with bad midi files of western music?? If so I love that site. I'm short on gas and hot seasons are coming. However maybe when I get back from catalina we can go.

Apr 11, 2006 7:31 PM
I have 20 guns..... pick one or two...and yep thats the site, and I found a couple others, but yeah when ever, I'm down!

Apr 11, 2006 8:48 PM
I like revolvers :)

Apr 11, 2006 11:46 PM
Well hmmm, I don't got no revolvers, but I have pleaty of others to choose from!!

Apr 25, 2006 8:00 PM
I just found out today you and Alissa aren't together anymore. That's seriously ass. Hope you find someone who loves you and takes care of you. From the reads of your most recent stir crazy sounds like maybe you might???

Apr 25, 2006 8:08 PM
Thank you Jenny, yeah it most certainly is ass, I loved her very much, but I suppose she just grew away from me, I hope I find someone like that to, but as of right now there is no one. Everyone like that I know is taken, and for good reason I suppose.
But again thank you, it means a lot to me that you care.

Apr 25, 2006 8:37 PM
I guess now I'm hoping she should lose interest in Jesse-esque things and want to sell her gun... in which I would be more than interested in buying lol!!! I have this theory that time is the key to happiness. I got mad at my fortune cookie but it says Rome was not built in a day, be patient. The more I thought about it the more I realized its right. I have it up at work as a daily reminder that if something sucks that it will get better in time... of course Rome also fell but that's another fortune cookie... hehe.

Apr 26, 2006 3:03 AM
You're right about time, it does heal, I feel like shit now, but I'll be ok, I always seem to pull through tough shit like this pretty well, I'm just disappointed in myself that I couldn't give her what she needs/needed but I suppose that's life, and we'll both move on.
Hey maybe I'll find someone that digs guns as much as me.... ahhh maybe not.
Haha maybe, but I told her to keep it, but if she does sell/give it to you, let me know I'll make you some bitchin' custom grip panels for it when I'm up at school.

Apr 26, 2006 8:11 AM
That would be really sweet. Actually if you're gonna learn to make that stuff I may wait and get my own gun exactly how I want it and have you make me ivory handles/grips whatever. It's cool you're going to gunsmithing school btw. I'm psyched to say I know someone who will learn how to make and work with guns. Sooo rad.

Apr 26, 2006 7:08 PM
I'm super jazzed about it, I may finally find a place where people are as nuts about guns as I am!!

May 1, 2006 8:21 PM
Lunch was fun, we must do it again some time, ohh yeah and thanks for diggin' The Jolly Green Giant!!
Talk to ya later, ohh BTW I'm still on AIM a lot.
I'm planning on having a totally bitchin' gun when I come outta there!!

May 1, 2006 10:01 PM
I concur!!! Thanks for getting me lunch. next time its on me. Maybe I'll visit the Blandcaster or something hahaha. I was telling Lori about JG's Honda incident and we were laughing hysterically.

May 1, 2006 11:16 PM
Yeah blancaster, I can show you around my desert hood.
although it's more urban-sprawl than desert now.


May 8, 2006 7:18 PM
>One of a kind.
>Loves being in long-term relationships.
>Extremely energetic.
>from the future.
>will exceed your expectations.
>Amazing in bed, THE BEST LOVERS.

>Predict future.
>Most erotic.
>Freak in bed.
>GREAT kisser.
>Always get what they want.
>Loves being in long relationships.
>Most popular. *

May 8, 2006 7:56 PM
"EXTREMELY" sexy and later on "sexy". What are they trying to say about Scorpios????

Whatever Aquarius's are the BEST lovers ahahha.

May 8, 2006 9:53 PM
Pffft. I'm a damn good lover!!!
So what if i also happen to be sexy to!

May 18, 2006 11:17 PM
Hey fool, thanks for hangin' out with me tonight, and givin' the jolly green his props.... I do believe he ran better after you hugged him Lol!
Anyhoo, thanks again it was fun and made my trip down worth the drive!

May 21, 2006 12:45 PM
When are we paint balling??? I wanna create modern art on someones face! Hahahah

* * * * * * * *

So yes, Jesse, I hope you found someone who loves you in me who loves guns and that I fulfill everything you could want in a woman. I agree you are a damned good lover.

It's not just a blog, it's insight to my mind!

Long ago and far away, Jesse used to read my blogs all the time and he doesn't anymore because we live together. But I wish he would because even though we live together and we talk, his new schedule of working nights isn't working with our social life much. He sleeps in in the morning and then comes home late enough to eat dinner, check his email and social network status, play a little bit of Radioshack and go to bed. I just feel like our communication is not what it used to be. Plus a lot of times my blogs are more than just blogs, they're insights to what's on my mind. Sometimes I say things here that I don't say in person cos I either forget or it hasn't crossed my mind yet. Anyway, I wish he'd read blogs more.

Continuted thoughts from two days ago...

The other day I blogged about how I couldn't get over some things. I feel as if I get too emotionally invested in things that I either shouldn't or should just give up on.

Two days ago I got Charlie's Easter pics. He loved the Easter Bunny and the pic came out super cute. The bunny gave him a little stuffed bunny toy and he loved it but he lost it in the mall and was crying. I searched all over the mall and couldn't find it and I felt like I was going to cry cos I felt like a bad mom that I lost my child's beloved gift from his very first trip to the Easter Bunny. Fortunately he forgot all about it when he got lunch.

Later that same day I learn of something that just angers me to no end. If you are nice enough to let someone live with you rent free, you are entitled to know when your guest is moving. I'm furious to no end at this person for living with relatives and friends and for lack of a better word, using them. I guess they feel like certain people in their life owe it to them to have to take care of them and quite frankly, no one owes them shit. Period. An adult who does not have any minor children or dependents of otherwise has absolutely zero reasons to need other adults or adult children to take care of them and pick up after them just because they don't have their shit together. And worst of all, if you use certain people in your life for a home, food, and they pay for your entertainment and every other element of your well being outside of cigarettes, the least you can do is watch their cats and tell them you're moving. This person left their friend's cats abandoned for 3 days because they decided to move and not tell their friend. OK, they're cats, but what if it were a child? What if they were living with someone with children and said they'd watch the children for the parents so the parents could work or something and just get a hair up their ass cos they're sick of those living situations and abandon some children? Literally, I am so pissed off at this situation and I have been whenever I hear about this person's bitching in the past at not being able to do things when their friend says they've done so much to help and that person just is so apathetic and tells their family one thing and does another. I'm not family and I can see past their bullshit and I don't buy one bit of it and refuse to ever become an enabler to them. Ever. I can't think about this person anymore though, I just get pissed off thinking of them.

I need to stop being so emotionally involved with things.

God and my family hate me

So between now and falling off the bed and couch, my last 48 hours are looking like a disaster. I'm thankful for those few hours playing and getting out yesterday but I am about ready to snap.

Last night I do grocery shopping all late as usual. I get Jesse some soda cos he's been good and ask him to pour us some. He opens up one soda and it's fine and the second one for me and it explodes all over the kitchen getting into every nook and cranny of our electric stove and floor. He stands there like a deer caught in headlights watching the exploding soda instead of closing it and moving it to the sink, thus getting it more places. I kick him out of the kitchen and take everything out and have to wash the floor and stove, which takes me a nice 20 or 30 minutes. I tell him to play his 'puter game while I do this and to stay out of my way. After that, I put up groceries and Charlie wakes up. He has a hard time settling but by this time it's close to midnight. Jesse says his breath smells bad and asks me to check for thrush and he's fine. Maybe something he ate? I dunno. I give him boo boo and we spend another hour trying to get him to go to bed finally at 1:00 am.

3:58 am I wake up to him crying and go to give him boob. He is wet. I figure it might be drool and feel his sheets and my hand is covered in clump. I turn the light on to see a puddle of vomit in his bed. Let me just say his vomit is much like grown up vomit but his food is all mashed up. Cleaning it up made me almost vomit. Fortunately, I was in that it's almost 4:00 am state of mind where I wasn't completely comprehensive of what was going on and wasn't fully affected by it. I felt his head and he didn't feel warm and I looked at the vomit and ruled out virus or cold cos no fever and saw a few pieces of dog food in there and figured it was the dog food and he couldn't digest it and threw up. I cleaned the mess, changed out his sheets and Jesse rocked him to bed.

About 6:55 am, he wakes up and we bring him into our bed for a bit. He hangs out and then gets his boo boo. He was crying like he wanted it but at the same time was reluctant to latch. I forced him to eat. My bad. I should have known better. Wouldn't you know it, 2 minutes of squirming on the bed and crawling on me later, I get barfed on. By me, I mean, me. I am covered in the contents of my boob milk plus whatever else was left in his belly that wasn't sitting right. I just call Jesse and Charlie is still hurling all over me. Jesse goes to the bathroom and gets me a towel and I think, "I don't want a towel, I want this barf factory removed!" So he takes Charlie over to the toilet and lets him continue barfing in there. At this point he's just barfing out breast milk. I find this odd because it's breast milk. That's like the most gentle thing on their tummy. So I'm trying to trace back yesterday and what might have bothered him and I know dog food for sure but possibly the cow milk. Although he's been having 1 - 1.5 oz cow's milk for the past few days with his daily boob. So if it were the cow's milk, it should have happened days ago. Unless he had more than usual yesterday? I dunno. So in order to rule out cow's milk, I am going to just play it safe and give him a chicken soup diet today and treat him like he's sick and cut off the cow's milk till his "sick" symptoms are gone. By sick symptoms I mean barfing. In my mind, I'm still just attributing this all to dog food and teething. I don't see any point in taking him to the doctors if he's not feavering or acting lethargic or anything. He's just playing and having fun and happy right now. He just barfed twice. Maybe if he barfs with everything he eats within the next 24 hours I'll take him, but if he has a virus, there's nothing I can do. I can say, virus: no meds. Let it pass. Till then, I'll just go with my theory that God and my family hate me and wants me to be miserable and I'll probably look back at this and laugh one day.

Side note: I just read this to Jesse and he got mad that I said Charlie ate a few pieces of dog food cos he thinks CPS is going to come take Charlie away or something. I tried to assure him that it's a very common thing that kids get into dog food and that I know of several people who have had their kids eat dog kibble as well and even post pictures of their kids playing with the dog food etc. Seriously, it's common. Plus Lulu gets Natural Balance. It's made with human grade edible contents. I would never give my dog something I wouldn't eat. They were one of the only dog foods that weren't affected by the dog food recalls a few years back. It's not like he got into Purina with a bunch of weird mystery ingredients.

Apalachian Uh-oh

I've learned the cheapest groceries are at Walmart on Thursdays as that's when they get their new products in and the best time to go is in the evening. I usually head out around 9:00ish and get out by 10:00. For whatever odd reason, it took me a ridiculously long time to get my shopping done but I was in for a treat in line! In front of me was your average run of the mill white trash family of 5. Mom and dad trying to be hip but just looking like last Sears last season scum, their two bratty daughters, which the older of the two, who looked like a scrawny 11 year old or old looking 9 year old, was perched on the handle bars of the shopping cart with her feet resting on the kiddie seat while the younger sister observed in complaint that she didn't know why the older sister always gets to sit in the baby seat when both girls were obviously way too old to be sitting in there, and of course, the brother, who had his hair shaved at about a 1 or 2 with a 5" mullet that got really curly on the bottom. It was the most God-awful sight. Take in mind when I see these cretins in line, it's now 10:45 PM. On a Thursday night. I'm alone doing my shopping for the weeks. My son is in bed sleeping. My husband is watching him. They're out as a family. The contents of their cart include a 30 lb bag of dog food, milk, bread, and donuts. Mom says in her hick accent, "Whut else was we s'posed to get 'sides brid in do'nuts?" Seriously? What on God's green earth made you have to get donuts and bread this late at night? There wasn't any special sale on them. It's not like it couldn't wait till tomorrow to get or they couldn't have got it earlier in the day. Why now? Why donuts? There's just so much logic missing in this scenario. I was oh so amused though. I still can't get over this! In the wise words of Chaz Michael Michaels, "It's mind-bottling. Like your mind is trapped in a bottle..." *snort*

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Money for nothing

Today my unemployment check did not come in. Yet it was mailed out two days ago so we'll see where it is tomorrow. But I get another check in the mail instead. From Renown. For $250. I don't know why this came in to me or what it was for but it was a check from them to me. Very odd. I won't try to think into it more than the fact its $250 more than what I had before and leave it at that. But I need to blog more after dinner because I'm kinda pissed off still at lots of stuff going on. That will have to wait...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


November 2, 2007
Weight: 167 lbs.

May 8, 2008
Weight: 200 lbs.

June 23, 2008
Weight: 165 lbs.
Triceps: 11.5"
Bust: 39"
Waist: 34"
Tummy: 38"
Hips: 42.5"
Thighs: 24"

July 4, 2008
Weight: 164 lbs.
Triceps: 11.5"
Bust: 40"
Waist: 34"
Tummy: 38"
Hips: 42.5"
Thighs: 24"

August 30, 2008
Weight= 157 lbs.
Triceps= 12"
Bust= 37.5"
Waist= 33"
Tummy= 36.5"
Hips= 39"
Thighs= 23.5"

November 4, 2008
Weight= 154 lbs.
Triceps= 12"
Bust= 38"
Waist= 32.5"
Tummy= 36"
Hips= 37.5"
Thighs= 23"

December 5 2008:
Weight= 152 lbs.
Triceps= 12"
Bust= 38.25"
Waist= 32"
Tummy= 33"
Hips= 37"
Thighs= 22.25"

February 6, 2009:
Weight= 151 lbs.
Triceps= 11.5"
Bust= 38"
Waist= 32"
Tummy= 34"
Hips= 36.5"
Thighs= 22.25"

March 25, 2009:
Weight= 150 lbs.
Triceps= 11.25"
Bust= 36"

People you might know...

I get an email this morning from my best friend. She says she was checking her Myspace last night and under the people you might know lists a Paddington Ramirez. She sees the picture and wonders, "Why does he look familiar?" Then she remembers, he's the fake person I created whose name derived from mishearing something my old coworker told me. All the photos of him were googled and separate sources of people who all look like they could be him. How disturbing is this?

His myspace reads:

I'm Paddington Ramirez. I'm from Old Town Albuquerque. I can be seen around Hello Dolle with a box of tissues until I see cops and then I split. I like dolls, mostly porcelain ones. I love teeth. I think women have beautiful smiles and great teeth. I like women who lack self esteem and dress like they're still 8. They remind me of dolls. I'd like to keep their teeth. I'm not capable of holding a relationship so please don't try to love me. I will not love you. If you're a woman with low self esteem and nice teeth, you can be my friend. I'll help show you the way. Maybe we can meet at the Church Street Cafe for a bite to eat then we can sniff paint by the Mary Tree behind San Felipe de Neri. Cheetos are really good. I like shopping at Walgreens too. They have cheap things.

Who I'd like to meet:
George Michael.

Interest include:
Porcelain dolls, teeth, tissues, cutters, women with low self esteem, my '73 El Dorado, moving, cities near rivers, police scanners, Cheetos.
Favorite bands:
The Mentors, Slayer, Venom, Krokus, Judas Priest, Journey, the Carpenters, WHAM!

Love Story.

COPS, America's Most Wanted, the news, Desperate Housewives, Dawson's Creek (R.I.P.)

Anything true crime or how to do type things.

Freddy Mercury

Sound like the kinda guy you wanna hang out with or what?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Mixed emotions

Is it possible to feel both frumpy and skinny at the same time? Today I felt skinny. Actually, in general, I've been feeling skinny lately. I know I'm not like twig skinny and I actually am technically still "overweight" according to medical standards, but I really don't feel that way. Yeah, my belly is a little poofy but I feel like my body looks good right now. I feel like my thighs are skinny and my arms are skinnier than they were. But when you're 200 lbs when you're pregnant and lose 50 lbs, I guess anything feels skinny. But I felt frumpy I guess moreso in the sense that I am dressed kinda slacky today. Like I could make more of an effort to look better but I'm not too concerned I guess. I've been real happy with the look of my hair for the last 3 days though. I've figured out that if I blowdry it and style it and use some hairspray and spend an ass long time on it, that it lasts a while and looks cute the next two days. I'm thinking of dying my hair yellow. I gotta rebleach again soon so I'm not sure. We'll see. I've decided not to cut it though cos I like it too much the way it is now. So I guess the outcome of my mixed emotions is that everything leans more towards happy than fussy. On that note, I think it's time to find something to make for dinner. The end. Here's a happy face cos I'm happy :)

Monday, March 23, 2009

You should be paying ME to do YOUR job...

Seriously, I'm sick of various people not having their crap together and making it my fault. I'm not working! You people are. In fact, you get paid for ME to do your jobs, like send you the same information several times over when you should be updating your system. And instead, you try to get me to pay fees for things that never should even be brought about because of your employees are probably sitting around stalking people on Myspace or something!

Case 1: Sallie Mae vs. William D. Ford Direct Loan Consolidation Program
This is an ongoing battle I am just about ready to stop fighting and throw in the towel and say forget it to them. I rehabilitated my loan. William Ford was buying it from them. They sent the request to Sallie Mae to see what they need to pay them to buy my loan and Sallie Mae denied it. Why? I DON'T KNOW! But now it's been 2 months since the original form was sent over and they won't let William Ford buy it out because it's now delinquent because they screwed up thinking that they [Sallie Mae] was buying my loan back when they don't buy loans that go into default. Their stupidity! Just admit you suck and let William Ford give you money to buy my loan. How hard is that!?

Case 2: Reno DMV vs. Geico Insurance
They are fantastic compared to LA but they didn't realize that my insurance policy included two cars, not just one. So I had to call my insurance provider and have them call the DMV and verify my coverage so I wouldn't get slapped with a $250 fine and suspended license for not having insurance. Fortunately my insurance provider was on it and got the info to them in a timely manner. I guess it's good to have a little green gecko and Cavemen on your side.

Case 3: Anthem, Ameriben, The Medical Group of Northern Nevada & Jesse
Anthem, our old health care insurance provider took months to get our proof of coverage letter mailed out to us and our new provider, Ameriben, didn't get it faxed over till a few months back. I guess at some point they needed to know what doctors Charlie has been to in the period from birth to end of coverage with Anthem. They mailed 3 letters to Jesse stating this and he figures because one letter is a claims form stating services performed that they all are the same thing. WRONG! So now The Medical Group of Northern Nevada is billing us $72 for a doctor's visit. Of course this can all be made right by faxing them a list of doctors Charlie has seen and their phone numbers and addresses. So that will be sent off tomorrow.

I'm just annoyed. If I was going to do everyone's work they get paid $10 or $12 an hour to do, I'd really like to see some of that money coming into my pockets. It's just annoying that some people skate by in their jobs and only see it as a paycheck and nothing more and do the bare minimum to keep their job. I can write a blog and a half about shotty workmanship and I may do that later this afternoon. Till then, I'll just enjoy the fact I now have the world's most adorable debit card and I am going to the park and might possibly enjoy some ice cream.

Art fag!

Worlds biggest hair,
worlds tightest pants got no circulation but you still can't dance.
Fashion is a statement and sometimes a risk.
Every fashion had its faults, but yours is the pits.
Always in black, looks like he's dead -
Here's the art-fag lying on his death-bed.

- GWAR, Slaughterama.

Art fag. A term that has become a vivid part of our lexicon for well over a decade, coincidentally from the first time I heard Slaughterama. It's funny because we have used that term candidly over the last 10 years to describe a number of people. While Gwar's definition seems to describe more the artsy goth Siouxsie and the Banshees, Smiths, Cure crowd, ours is a more generalized term. It spans from weird bohemians. Indie rockers. Arty goths. Arty weirdos. Hipsters. Scenesters. It's so odd how something so simple has become such a huge part of our vocabulary and sometimes we forget where it all started. So I guess today I just want to recognize Gwar for opening us up to a word that has been such a huge part of our lives for the last decade. I'm sure they heard it somewhere as well, but for me, it all started with them. Thank you, Gwar. Keep doing what you do.

The Not-So-Perfect One

I get this coupon for a free panty and $10 off any bra at Victoria's Secret every 3 months or so. Anyway, I got that Perfect One bra because it literally is a perfect fit and looks great under t-shirts. But seriously, I have issues with its composition. That thing is not sewed, it's glued or something. How do I know? Well, aside from being seamless, the glue that holds the fabric on the cups has come apart on me. Yeah, that's right. I've had this thing for maybe a month tops at best. Possibly shorter. But I am so miffed at this. I think I may need to contact them.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Modern Love & The Replacement

Last night Chrissy and I went out to a show. Musically it wasn't my normal cup of tea but the group turned out to be pretty interesting and we had mucho fun. Anyway, none of the groups started till well after midnight and the headlining group went on around 1:00 something. Chrissy didn't eat yet so we walked down to Silver Peak. While there she said some guy was hot and I told her that Jesse was my man to end all men; meaning after I met him and really got to know him, that no other man could ever compare to him and I only had eyes for him. She said it's really sweet to hear the way I talk about my husband especially when so many people these days have so much relationship drama or divorces or what have you. That it was nice to hear of people still believing in love and having such admiration for one another in this day and age. We're like some sorts of relics from the past preserved in morale and given a modern flair in appearance.

On that note, Chrissy had a friend who shared friends with her but has her own drama going on and long story short, they don't talk anymore. She was there last night and kept giving us glares of jealousy as if to inquire who the replacement friend was, that being me. Chrissy explained the situation a little more and it saddens me because this girl is going through some serious hard times and I'm pretty sure the negative feelings she's feeling towards Chrissy are more of an outlet do deal with her inner problems and insecurities as a way of coping with what's going on in her life. Or there may be a darker secret reason that no one knows. Either way, it's just sad whenever two good friends don't talk. Chrissy believes that she'll never talk to her again based on what's happening. I said it may be a while and when she comes around it might work out. I mean, I've been in those shoes obviously and things worked out. Of course I had a longer history with my friend than they did, which might explain why she believes what she does. Anyway, last night I found it amusing that I was looked at by someone in a jealous way because I'm so not the type of person to go out and create drama on my own. Usually any drama that happens with me is a result of a misunderstanding or someone putting me in an awkward position. I don't think the position was awkward or anything. It was just the type of look you'd get if you ran into an ex somewhere with your new date and they're just there with a friend. That look of, "Oh, I see you've moved on already. And with that person? They're not even your type. You must be desperate." Can you see why I got a good chuckle? Heaven forbid people with different taste from different walks of life be able to coexist and, gasp!, even be friends. The idea you have to remain friends solely with people in your own musical cliques is so jr. high and high school to me.

Anyway, that's all. We got home around 2:00 something and hung out in the car talking for a while before I went up. Chrissy lost her cell phone accidentally leaving it in the bathroom on the counter and someone swiped it. She said it was a Cricket phone and worth nothing and can't believe someone stole it because phones are worth nothing. But I'm sure there's someone in the world desperate enough to steal a cell phone for something. Oh well.

Oh, quick addition: last night it was snowing pretty good just as things got going. It was so amazing to see the snow fall outside with what was happening inside. It was a great contrast.

Going out and a poop

So I'm waiting to go out right now. Chrissy is supposed to come get me and we're gonna go to some shows. I made lasagne tonight and the sauce I got was not good at all. It tasted kinda weird and Jesse pointed this out to me. But I had seconds cos I was starving. Now I'm paying for it. Seriously. I feel like I gotta poop or have a gnarly stomach ache. Of course this still could be my period. I felt like I got it and it even looked like I got it a few days ago but it only lasted like 2 days tops and was done so I'm expecting a follow up or something. I mean, I know Mirena makes your periods lighter and shorter but from 10 days to 2? That's astronomical! Why isn't everyone on Mirena!? Seriously, I hate my periods and hated them forever and if I knew there was a magical contraption in life that could make it go from super heavy painful over a week long to two day that come and go so fast they don't even say goodbye? Well heck, I woulda begged someone to do it for me eons ago. I find it ironic I'm going out tonight. I had a long day. I've had a really bad headache since about 3:00 this afternoon and my back hurts. It's just a generally bad idea but I'm one of those people that once I'm out I forget about stuff like that. Unless I'm seriously ill then I just want to go home and I am not ill so who likes to rock the party? I like to rock the party! I feel like I'm dressed like I'm trying to make a statement or something. I'm not. I got my .357 earrings on that Jesse made me and my Gadsden t-shirt I made. I guess I like to wear things that spark thought or conversation. I dunno. I'm half debating to do a quick change of shirt. I'm feeling frumpy. Yeah, I'm not going out to impress anyone, I have a husband for that. But I don't like feeling frumpy when I go out. I think a quick change may be in order... ho hum. I still hafta poop but it's not quite there yet.

Saturday, March 21, 2009


I come home from doing laundry today and find this cretin hanging out in our trash. He is having a serious conversation with himself about I'm not too sure what. Anyway, not too soon later, he realizes me staring at him in a what-the-hell-are-you-doing manner. He shakes a can of Steel Reserve and asks me if I have some change as he's 50 cents short of a beer. I tell him no and get Charlie and my laundry out and keep a cautious eye on him. I'm not too worried about going in at this point because there's an ample supply of cautious onlookers who also are curious about his whereabouts. Besides, he is too drunk to stumble away from the security grasp of his trash cans and sways to hold on. After I get up inside and lock the door, I call RPD and tell them to send someone out. Oh, the other thing, I almost hit one of the unsupervised Mexican kids in the alley. Fortunately I was going like 2 mph and stopped and honked the horn at him. The kid was like 3 or 4 and stares like a deer caught in the headlights and stops but his other friend on the other side of the street yells at me to hurry up and get out of the way in Spanish and I was like, "Oh no you didn't kid!" Anyway, back to the vagrant. So after I call RPD, not too long after two squad cars and the drunkard wagon show up. Not one, not two, but three cops are needed to get this guy even though he's super drunk, of course with that type of public intoxication, you never know if he's gonna freak out and go all crazy. In the end, I go out to watch how it pans out after he's in the paddywagon. The one cop comes up to me and asks if I called and I say yes and he just quickly asks what happened and I told them he was drinking and asking for money from me. They said he was going in for public intoxication and apparently he's a local character they've dealt with in the past, (maybe why with my accurate description they sent out 3 cops?) and he was getting arrested. Our neighbor Mark came out to ask what was happening and I told him and he said the guy shows up at our other neighbor's store buying beer and drinking it in the parking lot and she tells him to scram all the time. Oh well. In the end, I had a vagrant arrested today. Now the streets are a little safer thanks to me.

Friday, March 20, 2009


So I did all the websites today. Literally. The only one that didn't need any work was Jesse's site. But I built my site from scratch and even found a way to work in a little flash animation gallery that loops itself because that's probably the extent of my knowledge of flash. I made the family site more family and less business. So now the three are their own entities. I am in a happy place right now because of that. I'm still finishing up the family site and that has a while till it goes live but yeah. I'm pretty happy and feel totally productive and motivated and just generally good. Plus I'm making fajitas tonight for dinner. I've been on this Mexican food kick lately. I gotta pick up some sour cream and maybe some spanish rice. We'll see.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Bernie doesn't live here anymore

Today I get a restricted call on my cell phone. I figure it's my dad so I get it. It's some dude and I tell him he has the wrong number. He sounds a little confused and asks if the number he dialed is correct and I say it is but the person who he is calling for does not own that number. Shortly later, I get a call again and know it's him again. Instead it's his wife. They sound like an older couple if it helps. She asks for Bernie and I tell her the number is wrong and she apologizes and asks if she can ask me a question and says, "How long have you had this number?" It seems a little rude to ask, but I tell her I've had it since 2007. That's 2 years. She then sounds a little surprised and apologizes again and hangs up. Old people, get this straight: Bernie doesn't live here anymore! OK, it was my cell phone, but something tells me that either they wrote a number down or said Bernie gave them an intentionally wrong number in hopes of not getting contacted. My mind is going wild with ideas! Bernie hit their car. He gave them a phone number, mine, and is evading paying for damages. Bernie is a relative who wants nothing to do with them and gave them my number in hopes they never get a hold of them. Perhaps he borrowed money he plans on never repaying? Or he's just some senile dude who can't remember his own phone number or is dyslexic and gave it out wrong? Can you tell I think about this more than I should?

The facts of life

No matter where you go, there will always be Mexican with a pitbull they can't control. I go to the dog park with the boy and pug and leave as a guy with an aggressive pitbull shows up. Really? At what point does one leave their home with a dog that tries to attack everything find it acceptable to go with said dog to a dog park that prohibits aggressive animals?

Radioshack! Part deux

I'm gonna get nerdy here for a minute. I took some screen shots of the game. Hehe. I'm not one of those computer game or video game or game for any matter type person. But I am slowly becoming addicted to Red Orchestra now that I've found a position I'm actually good at, which I blame on the fact I'm actually good at it in person and the game is very accurate with the sights. That's the rifleman. See, for a while, I avoided trying it out because it says it's a higher skill level than a two other player levels which I want to say were the machine gunner and semi-auto rifleman. But I get to use a Mauser as a rifleman and I'm fairly good with mine in real life so lining up sights on a game is really no different. I still only play in practice mode because I'm a little scared of going into a real game, you know? I don't feel confident in my shoes enough to take on virtual players yet. But for the 10 minutes or so I did play, I got 6 kills. I also got a cool screen shot of a fireball after I killed me a commie. Jesse, I hope you see this post. That's all I got for now.

What the fluff!?

I've been finding myself playing Jesse's game when he's at work and Charlie's napping now that I can figure it out better. I thought, "OK, this is actually a pretty cool fun game." I thought about how much cooler it was than the gay game my ex used to play and I can't for the life of me think of what it was called. I keep wanting to call it Magic the Gathering after the ridiculous card role-play game my friend Alissa's little brother Adam and his friend Pop'nFresh (that's what we called him) used to play when they were in junior high. Then out of nowhere just now, I remembered, it was Diablo 2! It was so gay! It had wizards and monsters. Totally not something a normal grown man would play. Definitely geared towards the nerd crowd. Anyway, Red Orchestra is way cool. I getta shoot commies. That's all.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

St. Patty's in a nutshell

Yesterday was bad in the evening for me. I tried to get a bunch of things done in a short period of time like put Charlie to bed, make dinner for me, and get ready to go out. In turn, Charlie did not go to bed, my dinner burned, and I was running late for going out. Eventually it got squared away and Chrissy came over around 10:00 and we went out on foot to Rapscallions to start our night. Apparently, RPD had the street blocked off at the end of Wells and drunks were everywhere. I've never been out for St. Patrick's Day out here but it was super fun. People clad in green and dressed up casual, formal, costumesque, and everything in between paraded down the streets with drinks in hand. It was very much like when you see Halloween festivities in Hollywood on tv for the best I can explain it. Anyway, we got some drinks at Rapscallions, mingled and then headed to S. Virginia and stopped off at Coaches for more drinks. Took a photo and got an amazing photo bomb from someone who turned out to be someone Chrissy recognized. Mingled more and invited the Photo Bomber to join us and then crossed the street to Chapel. Drank, mingled. From there, we headed to Amendment 21. By this point I took my heels off and walked in fishnets on the sidewalk avoiding any glass or puke because my feet were killing me. The heels I wore and walked comfortably in 6 months ago were now very uncomfortable and I had no idea why. Amendment 21 was playing some old skool and 70's funk when we got there and I was totally feeling it. We got our last round of drinks there, danced, mingled and then I called it a night at 12:30. We decided to take a cab home even though we were just a mile away because frankly, it was cold, our feet hurt, I don't think walking was a good idea. Chrissy went back out to meet back with some of her friends after we got home, but the best part of the night was finding $20 on the floor in Amendment 21. I'm a cheap date and I only spent $20 in drinks that night anyway, so that paid for my drinks. I got the cab fare for the night for that so it was all good. So partying was fun.

Coming home was not.

When I got home, I was feeling a little frisky. Jesse was not. So I went to bed, still in a slip, bra, underwear, and fishnets. 30 minutes later, Charlie wakes us up crying. We bring him in bed to calm him down and after another 30 minutes of fussing, he calms down and goes to bed between us. Lulu decides that every night she sleeps between Jesse's feet that tonight she is going to sleep on my side by the edge of the bed. So I sleep in a stiff state in fear of rolling over Charlie or knocking Lulu off the bed. To top it all off, I wake at 7:30, hung over to a crying Charlie who tells me that my sleeping days are over and he's up for the day. So that's it. That's how it all ends. Back to normal...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


This morning I went to group with Charlie and stayed way later than I should have talking to a new mom. It was nice but I felt bad leaving all suddenly but Jesse wanted to take my car today to work and I told him he could and I realized I left him 15 minutes to get to work and me to get back home. Fortunately he was able to take it and get to work on time. Charlie napped for a good 2 hours, 1 at group, 1 at home. In that time, I played or tried to play Red Orchestra (Radioshack). I couldn't quite figure out what I was doing. I mean, I sorta did, but I couldn't figure out too much. By the time I got a somewhat fair idea of what I was doing, Charlie was waking so I just exited the practice game having accomplished nothing but at least my "team" won the war even though I was the guy who did nothing. It's a group victory, right?

I am defrosting some ground beef to make Charlie some lunch. I figure hamburger helper. He loves the stuff. It's easy to make. Jesse loves it and can have it for dinner since he doesn't want St. Patrick's Day dinner of corned beef, cabbage and potatoes. On that note, Hell froze over and I got the memo today. Apparently, Jesse is staying home with Charlie and I'm going out with my gal-pal Chrissy to a few bars along our street for a few drinks. For whatever reason we decided red dresses and green sweaters is the way to go. That works for me! I'll take a picture if I get around to it.

In other news, last night I replanted my strawberries into a bigger planter. It's the one I wanted to get for a while now at Target but never bought cos I was weary of whether or not my strawberries would grow or not. Since they're doing so well, I decided why not? As for my other pseudo-victory garden items, every seed I've planted has sprouted and is doing fantastic!

Pug Life

I was out and about thrift shopping yesterday with my friend Chrissy when the topic of me liking pugs came up. She has a little pomeranian, Bentley, who seems less interested in Lulu than he does in kicking dirt and peeing all over the place and sniffing Lulu's pee. Anyway, she said it's odd that there's so much stuff in the world for pugs and some breeds of dogs (I'm guessing like labs and things of that sort?) and how there's nothing for other dogs. I told her about my sister having that same complaint about papillons. I also said how pugs aren't dogs, they're a way of life. Hence, I have a PUG LIFE shirt from my sister. A pug wallet from my sister. Charles has several stuffed pug dogs including Frankenpug, the squeaky toy for Lulu that had to be stitched up the belly because it broke and Charlie took over it and sleeps with him so he can sleep with a pug in his bed too. I am eagerly awaiting my pug watch. We have two pug mugs. I have a pug mouse pad, also from my sister. My sister gets me a large number of pug related items because she's in the pet industry and has access to all the crazy cool things, including new unreleased merchandise when she goes to pet expos. But yeah, pugs, they more than just cute, they're a way of life. So now, I just got an email that my pug debit card design has been approved. Everyone loves Lulu. I will get to further display my pride of the Pug Life.

Monday, March 16, 2009

And so it never ends...

Today I had to refile my loan application to consolidate my already consolidated student loans in an attempt to avoid having to go through another bullcrap rehab program because Sallie Mae are a bunch of clueless asshats. Fortunately it's been 56 days since my application was originally submitted to Sallie Mae and there's a 45 - 60 day period to get a loan certified so I may be covered in that grace period and not have my stuff show up as being in default. I hope. Of course money is involved so they'll find a way to say "nope, doesn't count" and make me do the rehab program with another agency for another year and nothing will get accomplished. As of right now, because of their stupidity, my credit is being affected... again. If I had super platinum credit, I'd say to hell with them all together and not pay at all but I'm not so lucky. Instead, a non-working person has to find a way to pay $177 - $250 a month for a $40,000 loan that went on an education for a job they can't even get. Where's my student loan bail out? Fortunately my loan is getting bought out by the gov't. And I know they care about covering their asses and if they have to bail out anyone, they'll either bail out themselves or the bankers. Sadly the bankers have more power than the gov't and I've lost my loan with them and I'm sure they'll b e the first to get any form of bail out if there's ever one for student loans. But that'll be a cold day in hell. I mean, forget the fact people lie to you saying you need a college degree to get a job and lenders will give you thousands of dollars under the pretense you will be making money when you get out. (True lie they tell you. I questioned them about this when I was 18 years old making $120 a month at my part time job and wondering how I'd pay back a loan for $10,000 a year!) Of course half the people who went to college and have all these loans are now defaulting on them because they either got laid off and can't pay their loans back and are losing their homes, cars, and other worldly possessions, or they went to college and because of the job market can't get a job despite having a BA, MA, or PhD. It's pretty sad when the employees at Starbucks are making more than someone with a college education, but that's the nature of the beast. And places like CVS, Target, and other retailers won't hire someone with a college education because you're too experienced. No one wants to hire someone desperate for work willing to make half of what they normally make for whatever unknown reason, possibly they just want a slacker who will do just what they're told like a good little puppet. Heaven forbid someone get a job who actually does it or even shows some potential and drive who aspires to have the job of their manager. That's just as petty as a pretty supervisor not hiring a more than qualified pretty girl to work under her for fear she'd no longer be the pretty girl of the office. But that's the way it goes in the real world. Life isn't fair and in the end, you get dicked over in every way, shape, or form. That which doesn't damage your credit just makes you more weary of lenders and realize what true scum bankers are.

Here's some semi-related unrelated videos Alex Jones is constantly going on about banker scum and the IRS, their friends in scamming others out of their money.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Elbows up, side to side...

How great is this shirt!?

I went to the mall today with some friends in lieu of Sunday coffee because our original destination was closed. We saw some really tacky graphic tees and I was a victim of buying two of them in their buy one get one half off sale. Now that I think about it, I regret not getting the Lean Like A Churro shirt. Maybe I might exchange one of the ones I got for that one instead tomorrow or something. I dunno.

Last night I went grocery shopping at 9:45 pm. I figured it was a good time because Jesse was home, Charlie wasn't asleep but I had to get out and get a break from his not-wanting-to-go-to-sleep-ness. I wore this awesome kelly green sweater I got from Salvation Army on Friday for $1.50 and was calmly strolling around the store taking my time. I thought there was a surprising amount of people shopping that late on a Saturday night. Then I looked at the contents of my cart and the contents of their hands: I had food, they had cases of beer or bottles of booze. The 20-somethings in there were all hooting and hollering and yelping at each 20-something they passed by in a fraternal order of brotherly salutations. I got many and didn't know what was happening till about 20 minutes in: St. Patrick's Day is on Tuesday. Most people are having their parties tonight. Dammit. I did pick up some beer, cabbage, and corned beef in addition to my other necessities out of holiday cheerfulness. As I left, 6 guys were getting a little rowdy and I just got into the Oldsmobile as normal. One of them, seeing me open the car and put my stuff up goes, "Is that your Oldsmobile!?" Yes. "DUDE! That car is awesome!" The more sober friend says, "Yeah, he likes those old cars." Another friend says something like, "You mean that old piece of shit." The original guy goes on to tell smartass guy how he doesn't know what he's talking about and that older cars are way better than newer cars even if they look like crap. I told them I like it and I feel like a hitman when I drive it. Because, quite frankly, I do. I feel like I belong in a Quintin Tarantino movie or something. All I'm missing is some cornball funk, excessive swearing, awesome wardrobe and a Samuel L. Jacksonesque sidekick. Yeah.

I find it hard to believe there's only one episode of Flight of the Conchords left this season. Boo. That sucks. Oh well. That just means season 2 will be on DVD soon. That's all I got for tonight. I'm assuming the rest of my evening will be spent in excruciating painful diarrhea because I ate a whole cabbage cooked up in some cabbage and noodles and I plan on making strawberry shortcakes tonight. Yeah, my ass will be burning. My postpartum hemmerhoid will probably come back but that's ok, I got a bunch of witch hazel and cotton balls. Yeah, gross. It works.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Addendum to bad drivers

So as I'm leaving the lavandaria, I'm totally boxed in with a small space to get out. And I totally make it in one shot. Why? I have the mad tetris parking/parking lot/parking space skills I guess. I dunno. I just thank my job at Sport Chalet for teaching me to be so damned good at parking and exiting bad situations. Anyway, at this point, I get out all fine and wonder why the hell those two little Mexican guys had the hardest time getting that truck out of a place that had more room to get out of than I had getting in or out of in my car when I came and left. Oh well. It will forever be a mystery to me, just as I want to know what's going on at the US Bank down on Vassar & Wells by my lavandaria today that there's a bunch of Mexicans out front. For a minute I thought maybe there was a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce meeting or photo shoot (the chamber prez works at the bank and I saw her out front directing people) but now I'm thinking maybe it has some sort of free tax filing or set up a bank account with your stimulus refund or some sort of who knows what thing going on? I dunno. I'm half inclined to walk down there to investigate.

People who don't know how to drive

One of my biggest pet peeves are people with big cars who don't know how to drive them. Case in point: I go to do laundry and tactfully squish my boat of a car through a tiny opening and back into a parking space. Just as I get out, two little Mexican dudes get into the big truck (which was big but not as big as my car!) next to me and try to back out. Its tight but can be done in 4 or 5 steps. Instead, it takes them 3 minutes, one guy getting out to guide the other and a crowd of spectators wondering if they can make it. Funny stuff.

Card Design Not Approved

Wells Fargo has this thing where you can design your own debit cards. So I submit this image to them.

I get an email from them this morning stating that they have denied my card design because it violates their image terms of use. How? I have rights to this design. It doesn't represent anyone famous or trademarked. But here's what they send me saying it falls under one of these areas:

* Trademarks, advertising, or branding. Business cardholders are, however, permitted to use their own business's logo, name, or tag line.
* Telephone numbers, URLs, account numbers, or email addresses
* Imagery that features cartoon characters or public figures such as celebrities, musicians, athletes, or entertainers
* Imagery or messaging that is violent, offensive, or anti-social; contains nudity or obscenity; or is political or religious in nature
* Symbols representing money or other content that might result in confusion at the point of sale, or that might result in card fraud

I have bolded the section I believe they chose to deny me under and then question this: how is this image violent, offensive, or anti-social? It has flowers. It has guns. It is a design. It is not political. It's not like I have someone wearing a pro-gun shirt shooting someone point blank. It's a very soft and gentle design. I swear some people are just too pussy to accept something of this sort. And of all people, Wells Fargo! Did they ever stop to consider their history? That their bankers probably at one point owned guns and even took them to work or had them on them back in the cowboy days when their bank started and was operated? Do you think those men in the stage coach being pulled by horses on their logo and tied to their name didn't carry guns to protect themselves against robbers? Anyway, I think I should re-send the image with a different file name. It was saved as guns. Maybe if I saved it as flowers it would get accepted? Who knows. I wound up submitting this one instead. I originally wanted to go with a pug dog but couldn't find one I liked but came up with this. It works for me.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Venting for a minute

I am frustrated from a caller who calls my home and shows up on caller ID only as 513. Not sure what it is, we assume telemarketer and turn off the ringer. Monday I answer it and it's a student loan rehabilitation program. I had spent 11 months doing one of those from February 2008 to December 2008 and then in January 2009, after I completed the program in December, I was mailed a packet to submit to the William D. Ford Federal Loan Consolidation program. This was mailed back priority mail with confirmation number to the agency I had worked with and they submitted it to the gov't agency on January 19, 2009. It could take up to 60 days to process my papers before I got the new loan packet. Having done this rehabilitation program as well, my loan was now in good standing with Sallie Mae. Or so I thought. So now General Revenue Center (GRC) is calling me wanting to set up a loan rehabilitation program. Again? The same thing I just did for a year with someone else? I told them to blank off and that my loan was with the gov't waiting for certification. I call the gov't agency and they tell me that I should call Sallie Mae because for whatever reason they can't and only I can by law. I call Sallie Mae and they tell me they denied my request on January 26, 2009. WHAT!? At what point were they planning on telling me or William D. Ford!? Why was I just finding this out now and why did they sell my account to another collections agency!? Well now I need to re-apply for the William D. Ford in hopes that this time Sallie Mae will approve my loan purchase, of course now I need a PIN number from the gov't because I don't even remember the last time I had one but I think it was in 2003 and I don't remember it even if I did have one! So now that will take about 2 weeks for them to verify my SSN with social security before my PIN even gets activated. ARE YOU SHITTING ME!? I am wanting to throw bricks at people right now!!!

So it gets better. I put that crap aside. I get my mail and find a thing for a certified letter. I stalk the mailman lady and get the letter and it's from the DMV saying they are going to suspend my license at the end of the month because they don't have proof of insurance from me. What!? I just submitted that crap like last month! For whatever reason my proof of insurance is saying there's a lapse of coverage of a week and that I might need to owe $250. ARE THESE PEOPLE FOR REAL!? So I have to call my insurance company to have them verify coverage and they say it starts on the 16th of November but the DMV wants it to start on the 8th? I'm not sure but I could have sworn I added the car the same day I got it registered and all that after I got home from the DMV. If I didn't, are they seriously going to make me pay $250 for a week of no coverage? I'm literally at the point of wanting to snap at any agency trying to dick me out of money for a bullshit cause. Seriously. I am so over these people. All of them. Screw them all!

I heart the Salvation Army

I went with Charlie on a lunch date today to Juicys. On the way back, we stopped off at the Salvation Army next door. This same Salvation Army is the one where we bought our coffee table when we moved to Reno and if I've never mentioned it before, I am in love with my coffee table that looks like it is circa late 60's early 70's but I'm going to lean more towards 70's with a neo-classical revival style. Anyway, long story short, I scored a bunch of crap for $11.25 there. The finds included a kelly green sweater circa mid 70's that is very reminiscent to a pine green sweater I had when I was in high school that I loved and got rid of for whatever God unknowing reason. Then I found a nice white purse that looks like it's from 2 or 3 seasons back from Target or something like that. Then I got two 16"x20" picture frames for what I thought were 16"x20" canvas boards but are actually 14"x18". I can just put some sort of matting in there or something. Then I got a hard back how-to book on knitting, crocheting and sewing from 1984 called Stitch by Stitch A home library of sewing, knitting, crochet and needlecraft. And I picked up a book for Jesse called Spying On America (1992) about how the gov't got busted for invasion of privacy in the 70's when a group of burglars broke into an FBI office and exposed them for what they found in some 1,000 documents, and last, a fictional novel about a New World Order situation called The Revolt (1996) that sounded interesting and Jesse might enjoy reading as well. Anyway, we're surrounded by a bunch of awesome thrift stores, consignment shops, vintage and antique shops that are swarming with great finds at even better prices. The end.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Lulu's sweater *Super easy crochet project!*

Lulu (read: Jesse) got me a crochet hook set for Christmas under the pretense I make her a sweater. So I did that finally after 3 months. It morphed from a capelet I'm making for me. It's the same shell design concept but I did a different color for each row and added a neck and waist clasp with velcro fixtures. ETA: I posted the pattern I made for it if anyone is ever interested in making a pet cape/sweater. It's super easy and only took two stray evenings and part of Charlie's nap time.

Sassy Shell Dog Sweater by Me

Size 10 crochet hook
1 skein 2.5 oz Red Heart Sport or other same size yarn
(or 2 if you want a second color.)
2 3" strips of velcro
Sewing needle
Thread to match your yarn

CH - chain
SL - slip stitch
DC - double crochet
SK - skip
ST - Stitch

Chain Small 32, Medium 41, Large 50
Row 1: Work in 5th chain from hook *DC 2, CH 2, DC 2; SK 2 ST and DC 1 in next ST; repeat from * till you have 3 ST left. SK 2 ST, DC in last ST.
(Optional: insert new yarn color with SL and continue to next row, or leave one color. If you make this a multi-colored sweater, just add the new color with a SL at the end of each row.)

Rows 2 - 13 same as Row 1. Bind off last ST.
Rows 2 - 18 same as Row 1. Bind off last ST.
Rows 2 - 23 same as Row 1. Bind off last ST.

Chain Small 5, Medium 10, Large 15
Leaving tag chain hanging, insert with SL to top of BODY and SL through each ST to end (32, 41, 50). Once you reach the end, CH an additional (5, 10, 15) depending on your dog's size.
Row 1: *Work 1 DC in each ST to the end. CH 2, turn around and repeat from *.

Rows 2 same as Row 1. Bind off last ST.
Rows 2 - 3 same as Row 1. Bind off last ST.
Rows 2 - 4 same as Row 1. Bind off last ST.

Small start in 4th row from neck and make 3 ST wide.
Medium start in 6th row from neck and make 5 ST wide.
Large start in 8th row from neck and make 7 ST wide.

Row 1: Insert with SL and SL (3, 5, 7) ST.
Row 2: CH 2, DC 1 in each (3, 5, 7) ST.
Rows 3 - 5 same as Row 2. Bind off last ST.
Rows 3 - 10 same as Row 2. Bind off last ST.
Rows 3 - 15 same as Row 2. Bind off last ST.

Sew velcro strips on the neck and waist bands.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

60's hairstyles

Someone please teach me how to do them. I love them. Or is my hair too short?

Thank You For thinking of me in your Pyramid Scheme...

So today I get this fat ass letter in the mail from one C. Halverson in Sparks, NV. This name is totally foreign to me yet this man has my entire name and address, which looks to have been stolen from a direct mail listing. Out of curiosity, I open the letter and find 3 pages of pyramid scheme old school chain letter propaganda. Send $1 to the original sender of this. Add your name to some list and mail to so many people. You'll get hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'm half compelled to write back to Mr. C. Halverson a letter telling him thank you for considering me in his pyramid scheme but that I refuse to participate. I mean, if your life is that bad you mail things out to random strangers in hopes of striking it rich, well, I can't comment on how ridiculous and pointless this is, but even more so, for the suckers who believe it will work. Yeah, I'll pass on this one Clint. Thanks but no thanks.

It's time for you to learn a new word....

Charlie learned a few words. Mom-Mom. Dad-Dad. Lu-Lu. But he seems to favor saying Mom-Mom as that's the one that he gets the most responses from. Well let me just say that while it was cute at first it is now very annoying. I would love for him to say anything else in the world other than call me. Mom-Mom needs a break. Poor Dad-Dad thinks no one loves him cos no one ever asks for him. And Lulu, well, she could easily do without being bothered as pug dogs need at least 20 hours of sleep in order to function all crazy like the other 4 hours in a day. So yeah, Charlie, start saying other things. Cut back on the Mom-Mom.


I've been finding that I have been distinguished as a person as a "gunslinging housewife". I was dubbed that by a gal who did my hair once. The term has stuck with me and I find it to be quite the perfect description of me. So I am taking it and claiming it. Anyway, I decided to redo my blog look/feel to reflect that and hopefully it comes off as so. Not sure about the squiggle in the headder but I like the weird unaligned text. It's quirky like me. That's all.

Oh and the background with flowers reminds me of wallpaper or these chairs I vaguely recall having in our backyard when we were little.

Short term answers don't equal long term solutions

But damn, do I like them. I know everyone says the stimulus plan is bad because the gov't is borrowing money from bankers to get us to spend money and stimulate the economy and most people aren't going to go out and spend frivolously but use their refunds to pay bills and basic daily living expenses and then in the long run the gov't will have to pay back the bankers with interest making it harder on our economy and resolving nothing. But I am one of those victims of credit who doesn't look at long term effects and only see that now I have more money and get giddy about it. I understand giving money to everyone with their tax refunds has a purpose which will never be fulfilled but I gotta give Obama props on part of this whole stimulus plan which affects people who truly need a little extra money. Who you ask? The unemployed! As of Feb. 22nd, the gov't passed a stimulus bill adding an additional $25 a week to unemployment insurance benefits. That means I get an extra $50 a pay period on my unemployment checks. I do feel giddy about this. It's like getting a surprise raise or something. Of course it'll just go to normal living expenses and possibly moving expenses. It's a good thing for me and my family none the less that we will be getting an extra $100 a month. I know a lot of people who can see the reality of what the stimulus plan does to the economy are probably cringing at the thought of this but for me, someone who is close to rock bottom financially, this means good news. At least temporary good news till we can get on our feet. I feel as if we've been crawling along for the last two years and one day we'll get to that standing position.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Unrelated thoughts

1. Because Jesse's on the phone and has no interest in my concept of taxation, I'll tell you. He says tax vices if there's tax. I say just do it like church. Say 10% but only if you can afford to do so. If not, it's not the end of the world and you won't go to hell. Just a suggested tax.

2. I had this flashback to when my sis took me to her friend's birthday party. Her friend hired 2 male strippers who were lamer than shit. All the girls thought the guys were super hot. I thought they were super lame. In fact, I think strippers in general are lame but that's a whole other mound of ruckus. The funny thing was one of the guys was going on about how it's the "bride's last night!" and was talking about a bunch of bachelorette party nonsense but it was for her birthday party. She didn't even have a boyfriend at that time and didn't wind up getting married for another 2 years. Again, if you are hired to do a service, please, know your client. It looks poor if you misrepresent yourself to people who are sober enough to pay attention.

3. I have the most fantastic idea for a painting and I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of my new brushes. And for payday so I can pick up some more paint and possibly canvas. I dunno. I can't tell if I want to do it on a canvas board or if I want it on a traditional canvas. If I do traditional, I may want to stretch my own and get a crazy custom shape. OOh I can't wait! I just wish my decor was modern enough to put it up when it's done. But it's not. Maybe someone will see it, like it, and put it up in their living room or whatever.

That's all.

Another one bites the dust

Looks like our neighbor downstairs is moving. Just to prove my theory that whoever lives in Unit A will never stay a full year. Hopefully we're not here long enough to see the new residents of that unit. Usually they get crappy people in. Our last neighbor wasn't bad though, which sucks. Oh well.

Nearly a decade of photos...

I just finished archiving what was close to a decade worth of digital photos. I saw a lot of blasts from the past. Then there were things I'd like to have not remembered. But oh well. One thing I didn't see which I regret not having are any photos of what I looked like the day I had my c-section. I wish I knew how big I was then. Anyway that won't happen again so again, oh well.

Never Ending Saga of Trash Diggers

Tonight Jesse had to run off yet another trash digger. I don't know if someone's moving in Auntie Anthrax's building or what but there's this huge pile of crap in the alley. Jesse hears some rummaging and looks out the window and there's a dude with a bike and a flashlight going through the trash. I have a weird suspicion I'll read a blog about this on the Reno Really Really Free Market myspace site but none the less, I believe if you are going to be a trash digger you need to have ethics about it. For starters, if there's stuff in an alley that is trash like furniture, a box of clothes, etc. that looks like it is intentionally left out for free taking, go right ahead and take it. That's what it's there for, right? In hopes someone will take it? But do it during the day. Don't ride up on a bike at night with a flash light and rummage through things at 9:45 pm. Second, the people who collect cans, I understand they recycle them for money, but my rule and this applies to the first rule as well, don't go taking trash bags OUT of the trash, dumping trash onto the concrete and sorting for cans and other recyclable goods and then do a half-assed job putting it away or not even bothering to put it away. It's just wrong. In fact, it's littering. Anyway, back to tonight. So there's some guy who is going through the trash all ass late at night. Jesse goes out to run him off because he's not taking the stuff that's out in the open, he's opening up bags and going through things and what not. So he does his flashlight routine of shining his high powered flash light on the perpetrator and his surrounding area. The guy looks up like a deer caught in the headlights and Jesse tells him if he wants to go through the trash to do it in the day time. The guy asks what time and Jesse says he doesn't care just not at night when it's dark out. The guy then continues to go through the trash and Jesse yells at him to stop and the guy tries to get confrontational and says, "Or what?" Jesse replies, "We'll see what RPD has to say about it" and walks off. Two seconds later, the guy grabs his bag of goodies and hauls ass on his bike to flee the scene before the cops show up. We never called them. For a minute there when the guy started to get mouthy I thought there might be a shootout but in the end all was well. So trash diggers, don't show up at night. And if you dig through the trash for cans, only take the cans or plastic. Don't take paperwork. It's ok to take stuff if it's left out like it wants to be taken away like furniture and boxes of stuff. Otherwise, watch what you do and mind your trash digging manners.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Victory! Garden.

One of my life dreams is to flash back to days of yonder and have my own victory garden. Of course since I live in an apartment, I can't do it. So I've done the next best thing and invested in some little cheap windowsil (sp?) planters and seeds. I got this little strawberry kit in the dollar bin at Target a few weeks back and it has been growing like crazy. Then about a week or two ago I got a "salsa garden" kit from CVS for $7. I was disappointed when it was in our bedroom window because it seemed like it was not getting enough sun even though it was a totally sunny location. Today I put it on the counter in the kitchen and I go to clean up and notice a bunch of little green sprouts! At first I thought some trash fell in there and then upon closer investigation I saw it was in fact plants starting to grow! Anyway, if I play my gardening cards right, I may have some strawberries, tomatoes, bell peppers, cilantro and cayanne pepper by summer. Hopefully. I'm pretty thrilled I've accomplished this much indoors considering all attempts at growing plant life indoors here in the past has failed miserably with exception to my aloe vera plant that will not die despite the fact I haven't watered it in well over a year. Maybe I should give him some water and think that there's a chance I'll get a sunburn this summer?

The "salsa garden". Tomatoes, bell peppers, cilantro, cayanne pepper.

The strawberries

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Won't happen to me!

I was leaving Plato's Closet tonight and saw these old ladies trying to get into a silver Toyota. The one lady kept clicking her lock to unlock the car and it wasn't working. The sound was happening but it wasn't opening. She thought it was broken and tried to use the key. The key didn't work. She then goes, "OH! This isn't my car!" Her car was the silver Toyota next to the one she was trying to get into. The one whose lights were blinking every time she'd click the lock to open it. The one that was also next to another silver Toyota and a silver Honda for a total of 4 silver cars that all looked the same next to each other. Her friend comments, "Goodness! All these cars look the same it's hard to know which one is yours!" Um, yeah. That's why I'll never have to worry about not finding my car in a parking lot. Although, there is a Buick the same color as my car that I'm guessing belongs to an employee at Walmart because I sometimes confuse it from afar with my car and continue to walk down that aisle before realizing it's not my car.

Gluttony '09!!!

I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner tonight and I figure something with ground beef. I decide on something with ground beef and pasta sauce. I open the can of sauce, which claims to have "mini meatballs" in it. Jesse doesn't like those, so I decide I'll pick them out and eat them so he doesn't have to pick around them. I wind up eating half a jar of pasta sauce. Cold. Not mixed in with anything else. I felt kinda gross for doing it but at the same time I felt more hungry afterward. So now I feel even more gross, not sick to my stomach, just like some gluttonous freak.

Decoys aren't decor

I've been noticing a bad trend in our neighborhood of people using hunting decoys of geese as lawn ornaments. It needs to stop. Its tacky and not in a cool kitschy way. I'm so bothered by it I'm writing on my phone web browser that sucks at the lavandaria.

Social Distortion is not an "Irish" band

I was at the mall two days ago and there's all these sales on St. Patrick's Day paraphanalia (sp?) and one thing I notice is in the window of Hot Topic a black t-shirt with the Social Distortion skeleton with martini logo on it and behind it a giant clover. It is inside a circle with some writing about Social Distortion and something pertaining to Irish pride. OK, wait, back up the bus a minute. At what point did Social D get lumped in with that whole Irish punk scene? In the store Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphys had their own little section with other kelly green things to celebrate being Irish and St. Patrick's Day, understandably, because both are Irish/Irish descendants proud of their heritage and make that a big part of their music, but whoever designed that Social D shirt is out of their f'ing minds. When I think of them I think of cars, drinking, drug abuse/recovery, prison, women, fast paced lifestyle but Ireland and Irish heritage has never popped up. If anything, I'd say with Mike Ness's excessive love of American culture, he's far from that and that shirt never should have been made. Anyway, I guess I'm still pretty mad at that. Yeah, I said mad. I liked old Social D (kinda lost track of what they were doing after White Light, White Heat, White Trash) and I liked Dropkick (before they switched over to the new singer) and I just find it frustrating how two bands who had so much underground street credit are now so mainstream. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they went from nothing to successful but when shallow sales stunts like this happen, it just compromises the band's integrity.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Blessed Be The Gods of Adobe!!!

So just as CS4 is coming out, I finally upgraded to CS3 and I have it all. As I have taught myself all I need to know about Illustrator and InDesign, I will one day do the same for Dreamweaver and Flash. I am super excited and hope to find time to do this in my spare time, what little there may be. Woo!

The Big Cheese

I painted more of our gun tests from last year tonight. I guess my mini-goal is to paint one each night till they're all done. My color schemes are limited right now as I desperately need to pick up more paint. I bought some new sable brushes online though and I'm eagerly awaiting their arrival. I decided once I get those I am going to become more serious about painting not-so-serious stuff. So I'm pretty jazzed.

Tonight I painted .45 ACP. It's the big cheese load of pistols. Everyone and their mother swears by it, but I say if you get shot with anything (with the exception of people in my dreams who can be shot head on with 7.62x39 ten times and still manage to come at me), you'll probably be going down. But that whole genre of tactical wienies swear by it so it's only appropriate the big cheese of pistol calibers be painted in colors of, well, cheese. Why not? Now that I think of it, I should have made the outside red so it looks like gouda or something. But I think the blue makes the yellow and white look that much brighter. Red would bring too much attention to the object and take away from the openings. And that's what the pieces are all about; emphasizing what various calibers do to clay, in other words, gun tests.

On a totally unrelated note: this morning I woke up and went back to bed and didn't wake up till Jesse left for work. Oddly enough, I had been dreaming about sex with Jesse (I know, I'm no fun, I have sex dreams about my husband.) Anyway, in our dream we were having sex when an old lady started moving stuff into our bedroom. We discretely covered up and stopped what we were doing and Jesse told me that she was the person taking over our lease when we move out. I told him she can't be there because we're not out yet and he said the landlords had her fill our spot before we're gone and I tried to see if we could get out of lease 2 months early but he said we couldn't. There was no explaination, just we couldn't. Then, the girl downstairs was having her parents move in with her and they were converting her place to a loft and the parents would live upstairs. There was a doorway in our stairwell to our unit and when it was opened there were bricks behind it. Just an FYI, I will never live anywhere that has a bricked off doorway because I believe that's a landlord's way of covering evil that once was and trying to keep stuff out. I went outside to call our landlords and my cell phone broke. The people next door were having a party and were being very obnoxious and rude to me. Then my sister comes over and tells me I have to go with her to the gym but there's these weird doctors there giving people shots and I don't want to get them and she says that if I want to go there I'll get the shot and I try to avoid it and I spend some of my time running away from these doctors in this gym which looks like the doctor's office where I used to go as a kid.

So naturally, later on in the evening when Jesse got home, I wanted to have sex. And we did after I put Charlie to bed. Funny thing about having a kid is that sex seems way better post-pregnancy. I'm not the first person who's said this either. The only thing is, most people I talk to seem to be in this school of thought: if they were pregnant and didn't want sex, sex post-pregnancy sucks and they want nothing to do with it ever again. If they were horn dogs while pregnant, they want sex more after having kids and it's better. I'm glad I fall into the last category. I can't imagine what I'd do if I spent the rest of my life not wanting to have sex. I'd say if I were like that I'd just never get married and have kids and be a nun or something because that would be the only way my life would have any meaning. Anyway, the sex, it was great. I'm happy to be married to someone who can satisfy my, er, needs. I love my husband and probably talk about it more than people care to know but, seriously, the man is a great man. On that note, I say goodnight!