Wednesday, March 25, 2009

People you might know...




I get an email this morning from my best friend. She says she was checking her Myspace last night and under the people you might know lists a Paddington Ramirez. She sees the picture and wonders, "Why does he look familiar?" Then she remembers, he's the fake person I created whose name derived from mishearing something my old coworker told me. All the photos of him were googled and separate sources of people who all look like they could be him. How disturbing is this?

His myspace reads:

I'm Paddington Ramirez. I'm from Old Town Albuquerque. I can be seen around Hello Dolle with a box of tissues until I see cops and then I split. I like dolls, mostly porcelain ones. I love teeth. I think women have beautiful smiles and great teeth. I like women who lack self esteem and dress like they're still 8. They remind me of dolls. I'd like to keep their teeth. I'm not capable of holding a relationship so please don't try to love me. I will not love you. If you're a woman with low self esteem and nice teeth, you can be my friend. I'll help show you the way. Maybe we can meet at the Church Street Cafe for a bite to eat then we can sniff paint by the Mary Tree behind San Felipe de Neri. Cheetos are really good. I like shopping at Walgreens too. They have cheap things.

Who I'd like to meet:
George Michael.

Interest include:
Porcelain dolls, teeth, tissues, cutters, women with low self esteem, my '73 El Dorado, moving, cities near rivers, police scanners, Cheetos.
Favorite bands:
The Mentors, Slayer, Venom, Krokus, Judas Priest, Journey, the Carpenters, WHAM!

Movies:
Love Story.

Television:
COPS, America's Most Wanted, the news, Desperate Housewives, Dawson's Creek (R.I.P.)

Books:
Anything true crime or how to do type things.

Heroes:
Freddy Mercury


Sound like the kinda guy you wanna hang out with or what?

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