Friday, June 5, 2009

The Alien Myth

I'm reading this book I found at Salvation Army a few weeks back Conspiracy Theories which doesn't seem to have an author only that it's "edited" by Kate Tuckett. It deals with things from JFK, 9/11, Area 51 to other more absurd things like the murder of Tupac and occult references in Harry Potter. One of the things they talk about are aliens and how they're cynical beings trying to take over our planet.

Let's pump the brakes for a minute here. I'm thinking back about all the things I know about aliens purely based on what I've seen on tv shows and in movies. When you're little and you see cartoons, they're little green space men with big eyes that are mischievous. When you're older, they're like the ones on Married With Children that need Al Bundy's socks for their space ship. Then you see movies where they're more predatory like in Signs and they're still green with big eyes but now they're taller and creepy. A few things are consistent: they're green and have big eyes. Sizes vary. They all come in space ships. But where do these space ships come from? If they are from a distant planet, why have we not discovered it yet? Why do they cruise around like a bunch of intergallactic freeloaders living from couch to couch? What's with the anal probing? Really, what do you plan on learning by sticking things in our chili rings? If they have these super fancy pants high tech space ships, why are they leaving their planet? What do their space cities look like? What do they eat? Better yet, what do they breathe?

What do they breathe? If you think about it, when man goes into space, if he steps out of his space ship, he needs a big suit with air tanks and what not to be able to survive in another atmosphere. Did anyone watch Armagedon? Do you remember when they were on the asteroid how at one point it would be frozen as hell but then it went to being all ass hot? Does atmosphere and climatic differences not affect these aliens? I mean, seriously, they're matter and all matter is affected by temperature. Are you telling me that their organic chemistry allows them to be composed of cells that can function like ours to breathe and carry blood but that allow them to withstand extreme climatic differences? Because if I learned anything in science classes, the closer you get to the sun, the hotter it gets and the further you get from it, the colder it gets. Are you telling me that I'm to believe these guys can either be totally ok without any space suits in an atmosphere that's totally different from that of their normal one without being affected in a negative manner? Oh, and that they can breathe our air with no problems at all without any assisting devices even with all the smog and crap pollutants we have?

Seriously, I could maybe buy that organisms live on other planets and maybe even evolve out in space, but I don't buy the whole alien space man traveling in UFO's with high tech abilities and super charged intelligence abilities if all they do is fly from one end of the galaxy to our side just to ram things in our asses. To people who believe this alien myth, I don't know what to say. I just wonder why it's never intelligent people who they abduct and always some ass-backwards Apalachian idiot. I mean, really, if you want to know about a society, wouldn't you want to learn from their smarter people rather than their mentally challenged? It just goes to show what kind of people are believers of UFO's I suppose...

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