I remember 8 years ago today when I woke up to get ready to go to school. I saw some thing about the Twin Towers getting hit by a plane and didn't think anything of it. I simply shrugged, turned off the tv, and went to school. I recall the freeway being completely deserted. When I got to school, I had the same experience of nothing surrounding me. By that time, it felt like one of those Twilight Zones where it's a last-man-on-earth type episode. No students were seen. No teachers. No one. So I headed to my studio and worked on some things for a bit. After an hour or so, I got back in my car and drove home. I made something to eat, probably mac and cheese, and got a DrPepper. I checked my email and turned on the tv simultaneously. By that time, the Twin Towers were gone, the Pentagon was hit, and some other places and talk of terrorists and Bin Laden were going on and on. I was thinking in my head, "Who the hell is Bin Laden? Have I really not been paying attention to what's going on in the world that there's some guy who is more evil than Saddam Huessin and I didn't notice?" I felt out of the loop that I had swarms of emails about what happened and how everyone suspected Bin Laden. Meanwhile, I just read a paragraph or sentence and proceeded to check other emails before eventually getting sick of it all, turning off the tv, the computer, and taking a nap.
In my mind, none of it really added up and at the same time, I seemed apathetic about what happened while so many others were so emotionally involved. People were crying and enraged. Why? Did you lose a love one? No? Oh, well it's unfortunate but why are you crying? Did someone you know lose someone? It just didn't make sense to me. Then came the tribute concerts to raise money to help the families. Then the fashionable patriotism. It all seemed so absurd. Why did it take a disaster of this scale to make America care about their fellow countrymen? Why did it take this event to make people realize that maybe they should care more about others? Why the hell did this event make country music so damned popular when it's horrible? Why were people now so concerned about flying flags on holidays and putting yellow ribbon stickers on their cars? It seemed so, for lack of a better word, showy. Did any of these people really care about what they were doing, or the symbols of patriotism they were showing? Did any of them really support their troops? Support Our Troops. How? How do you support them? Are you sending monitary support? Food? Doing volunteer work at home? Agree with the fact they are being forced to fight a bogus war? What?
For me, 9/11 was just another day. In fact, I recall my alarm clock radio going off and Oingo Boingo's Just Another Day happened to be playing as it went off. I wasn't emotionally hurt by what happened. But I did wake up that day. I saw that what happened brought people together. But it wasn't in the true spirit of helping another man. It was in that selfish nature that people developed. People helped because it was the cool thing to do. People helped so they could say "I was a part of this". People helped not because they were concerned about their fellow man, they helped because they wanted in on the action. I woke up to realize what a selfish and absurd society our country has become. Everyone is so concerned about their best interest. What they can get out of life. Who they can sue for money. People don't truly care about other people. And I'm not gonna lie, I don't really care about strangers. I only care about my family, friends and community. I realize that there isn't anything I can do for people across the country so why should I spend my time worrying about it. When the problem comes to my community and it does directly affect me, then I will worry. I feel bad for them, but the reality of it is, there's nothing I can do immediately at that moment to help.
In the aftermath of 9/11, I became more aware of the world around me. I started to watch the news more. I started to pay attention to politics. I started to realize how bias the media is and which news channels would give you a Republican view and which would give you a Democrat view but none seemed to tell straight facts. A few years ago, my husband who was just my friend at the time, turned me on to a site called www.infowars.com . It wasn't a right or left wing news feed. It was just news. It was information that was pulled directly from source mouths. Cited facts. Not slants. I realized then, that the world around me was not as it appeared for the past 24 years. There was other stuff going on. All the stuff about 9/11 that didn't make sense was starting to make sense with all the other information that was out there. It was almost like Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come." This man, Alex Jones, he knew that the information and the facts were out there and if he could make a place for these facts, people would listen. Lots of people got upset. He gets lots of hate mail and calls. But he also makes people think. What if everything you've been told for your entire life was a lie? What if there was a truth that no one wanted you to know? What if you started to gather pieces of the truth and it upset you? Would you believe it? Would you ignore it even if you had evidence it were true? It is so much easier to live a content, peaceful life of blind faith in what the media tells you as truth than it is to open up to the reality of their lies.
I no longer take the news seriously. I have serious doubts about politicians. I take anything people tell me with a grain of salt until I can find facts.
I believe that what happened on 9/11 was horrible. I believe that no man, woman, child, person, anyone, should have died a tragic death. I believe the families of those who lost loved ones should not live their life suffering the loss of their loved ones. And most of all, I believe the people who schemed this tragic event should be captured, held accountable, and punished for what they did. Unfortunately, I also believe that we will never catch those people. I also believe that God will judge them when their time comes and if they have an ounce of good in them, they will feel guilt, and living with that guilt for the rest of their lives, knowing they consciously did a horrendous thing all in the name of their greedy, selfish endeavours may be punishment enough; that no doctor, no drugs, no priest and no person or thing on earth could ever fix, and that guilt will be torment and punishment enough. Of course, I believe the people who schemed 9/11 don't have an ounce of good in them, because if they did, it never would have happened.