Thursday, December 3, 2009

Self Interview To Help Explain The Creative Inspiration

The following interview takes place on a desktop computer as the logical thinking side of my brain tries to pick at my creative side in an attempt of processing and help explaining the creative inspiration.

Logical Side:
So, I understand you've been on a creative stint lately.

Creative Side: Yes. I've been feeling especially creative lately but I just don't know where to start. Being at home for so long has been building ideas in my head and it just feels so overwhelmed with creative juices like it's going to erupt; like some sort of creative volcano. Some of my ideas involve money, others just involve time and lack of interruption. Urgh! Those always suck because I find myself never having much of either. Oh well. 'Tis the nature of the beast I suppose, right? I guess at this point I've been writing a lot. It's the only thing I can do that doesn't cost and comes naturally.

LS: So what are you doing now?

CS: Right now, I just finished a few rough drafts. I had two that kinda tied in together and one that is a total rewrite of the main part of the first one.

LS: Exactly what do you mean by that?

CS: ::drinks tea:: Well, I had this one idea for a story and I wrote it. But then it didn't seem quite right because it seemed like some parts could use a little more explanation and instead of going into detail in those parts and getting super wordy, I just decided to create a whole other story to explain the back story. They kinda stand out on their own as individual short stories, but if you read them together, it starts to form a novel. I didn't want to leave the original story hanging with this questionable ending. I mean, I suppose it could work either way. Maybe I'm making a mistake by making it longer than it should be? But yeah, it was supposed to be a few collections of random short stories that maybe had connecting themes, but then I thought it would be kinda fun to have these little stories that held up on their own as a short story but tied into each other so if you read it chronologically, you would wind up with a novel. I guess I just don't have the patience to sit and consicely write a novel or read one for that matter. I'm notoriously lazy when it comes to reading yet I'm selfish in the sense I totally want others to hear what I have to say. You know, like someone who talks too much and doesn't shut up when you're trying to have a conversation.

LS: So instead you're trying to break the conversation up?

CS: I guess I just need a drink or two in between stories so I can shut up and hear what someone else has to say. ::hahahah awkward laugh:: You know, have you ever been in that situation? You go out with friends and suddenly realize you've been talking about yourself for way too long so like you just stop what you're doing and become so involved in your drink and listening to someone else just to level the playing field? Sometimes you just sit there wondering what the hell they're going on about but you listen anyway hoping to find a way to turn their story back to you even if it has nothing to do with you at all? God, I totally sound shallow right now, don't I?

LS: Completely. So do any of your stories have common themes since you said they're all connected?

CS: Kinda. I'm a fan of introverts. Bad decision making. Self realization and awareness. Awkward moments. Nothing your average person hasn't dealt with at some point in life or another. I love characters who are just awkward with insecurities. I guess we never really grow out of our insecurities.

LS: Probably not. Would you care to elaborate?

CS: Well, ok, I think most people can agree they have had a period in life where they were awkward and didn't feel comfortable in the world. I think for me jr. high was pretty crappy. High school sucked too to an extent but jr. high was the worst. When I was young and going through an awkward phase, though, I used to write letters to people who weren't from this lifetime or that I had even known just for the fact of feeling like I was reaching out to someone. I threw them all away but some of the things were pretty silly normal teenager stuff. You know, stuff like, "gee, how come guys don't like me" or whatever. Just stupid stuff. But the thing is, when you're young and awkward, even when you grow into your confidence, that awkwardness is still there with you and it follows you for life. It kinda makes you who you are and you will always be defined by that. Only difference is when you become an adult, they call it quirkiness and somehow it becomes socially acceptable, especially when alcohol is involved! ::hahaha::

LS: I see. So how are your people awkward?

CS: I wouldn't say they're completely socially inept but they definitely have issues. I'm a big fan of domestic violence. I think it makes for great fiction. For me, it doesn't get any better than a weak woman who consciously chooses to stay in a bad situation and when they have an opportunity to leave, they choose to stay. I think that is rich. Yet so many women are like that. They are defined by their husbands and fear that if they leave, they are nothing. But then there's a moment of self realization in which someone, and I say someone because without being mean, usually these women stay around too long and don't realize they're in a bad situation because they are blinded by a pseudo love or fear, and someone makes them realize that and they say, "Hey I think it's time to go." So for me, the whole insecure abused woman theme is almost always present; a woman who is in some form of abusive relationship, whether it be physical, mental, or just that feeling of isolation and loneliness and lack of love. Which, come to think of it, I have to correct myself in saying I have been in the latter half. I dealt with a relationship for 5 years in which I was pretty much belittled and in a relationship to speak of but emotionally wasn't there and I guess I could say I'd probably rather be beaten because at least that would make more sense. :::hahah nervous laugh:::: drinks tea::: But then there's a lot of other things like grudges and revenge. I love a good grudge and I love great revenge. I think it's amazing how the human species can hold grudges. I mean, you kinda see stuff like that in the animal kingdom but revenge, that's all man. It's awesome. I love having bad guys with a conscience. I think I've grown out of the whole bad for bad sake thing. I think when you put someone in that situation, it just makes them some sorta sociopath. When you have someone kill someone for a justifiable reason, or they show compassion towards their victims, it kinda makes you like that person a little more. I've always been a fan of the bad guy. I've always wanted to know more about him. What makes him tick. Does he care about anyone or is he just some vacant evil being. I think when you make the bad guy human and not some super killer, it makes them more likable and more real. I'm the type of person who watches a movie where the bad guy gets hurt or something and you want to give him a hug and say, "It's alright, let me help you." :::nervous laugh::: I guess I always find them more interesting than some stuffy hero who saves the day. Do you ever notice how they're always a little cocky? I hate cockiness. In heroes anyway. I'm totally ok with a bad guy who is a little cocky when you meet him but then softens up a little later on. I love me some villains!

LS: Let me guess. You like the bad guys? So with this fascination with bad guys, what are their roles?

CS: I like them as my protagonists. I think they make far interesting characters and you can play more with their psychological depths and make them cruel yet likable. I like to give them a sense of morals and ethics, I think he's a little more compassionate towards others and how he treats them. Like, people who get killed, he likes to do it quickly so he doesn't grow attached because there's that possibility that if he gets to like someone, he won't be able to kill them. I like this guy, though. He's likable and compassionate but without being a total wuss. And I think he even provides a little bit of black comedy at times.

LS: So who is the real villain if your bad guy is your protagonist?

CS: Who do you think? I believe all signs point to the abusive husband. He's really a key point in everything. Without him, there's really no plot. The guy is a jerk. Everything kinda revolves around him in his world and he totally will step on anyone to save his ass, including his wife. He's just a scumbag and you don't feel bad for him at all. At least I hope you don't.

LS: There really are only three main characters. What about the supporting characters?

CS: It's funny because the only other characters I can think of off hand right now is just the whore. Her role kinda re-instates the whole issues of betrayal towards the wife and how the wife is kinda a doormat sometimes and people can walk all over her. I mean, you have a woman who is not only sleeping with her husband, but also getting paid to do it and it's like dually insulting to the wife, yet the wife feels sorry for her because she's a single mom going to school. But then, she's kinda a little more than just that because she's also a reinforcing wake up call that the husband has a problem and she has no emotional attachment to him, he's just paying her bills. But yeah, that just goes back to the whole insulting thing, though.

LS: So is this a town thing?

CS: Kinda. I wasn't too sure about a location at first, but now I'm totally feeling Reno. But I like small towns. I grew up in a big town. Everyone was just a nameless face in a crowd. When I moved to Reno, I kinda got this small town vibe from here. I think most people out here feel this town is kinda big. Not as big as the valley was but it's big enough. But yeah, if there's two things I've learned I love in my life of limited traveling it's small towns and deserts. Give me a small desert town and I'm a happy camper. :::hahah::: Really though, I don't think I could ever live in a small town unless I was going to snap and go on some sort of over the top dramatic rampage. Although I sometimes joke that I want to die in old town Albuquerque. That's a beautifully depressing place. It feels kinda like you're in a dream state somewhere between life and death. It's remarkably bleak. I think it actually makes a nice backdrop for some stories. I think I might use it one day for a Paddington Ramirez story of some sort.

LS: Oh no, not Paddington Ramirez.

CS: Oh, yes. :::a shared hahahaha with LS::: I loved blogging as him but I think it kinda got old after a while, but I think if I went a little more in depth with things it could be kinda fun. Or just do it a diary style. The Diary of Paddington Ramirez. Ha! But really, I think that's about all for now. I'd like to do a collection of stories in the desert. Not sure where yet. I'm thinking Arizona or New Mexico. Or even Reno. It's still technically a desert and it is a lovely backdrop.

LS: Well, if that's it, thank you for your time and your insight. Good luck with things.

CS: Not a problem. Thanks!

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