Sunday, January 3, 2010

Separation of Church & State (and some movie reviews too!)

Some people believe that church and state should be separate. I suppose in a way that could be a metaphor, in this case, in which it's sometimes better to keep your personal life out of your professional life. I decided to finally switch my personal blog here, ding!, to be personal and over the next few weeks will trudge through years of files to figure out what belongs on the professional portfolio site.

So on a completely unrelated note, I want to take a moment to talk about some movies. For starters, I think Pineapple Express was a horrible movie. I tried to watch it, I really did. I think I was even excited to see it when I Netflixed it. Another Appatow film with his usual suspects. I have enjoyed his past works and despite Katrina's feelings, I enjoy Seth Rogen. But dude, Pineapple Express was horrible! It was like the worst movie ever. It had like a moment or two but I just didn't like watching it. There were all these lowest common denominator lame pot smoking jokes and it just wasn't funny, or watchable for that matter. I'm a drug free person and it was just annoying. It's like someone who tries to push their views on you in an annoying manner. So I give it thumbs down unless you're a complete retard or love pot and you'll probably enjoy it. And this is coming from someone who is easily amused.

Along those same lines, Funny People. Has anyone even seen that movie? Were they being ironic calling it Funny People because I didn't think it was funny at all. I liked it, I won't go out and buy it or anything. I'll probably watch it again if it comes on cable, but it was really depressing. It just puts a lot in perspective about Hollywood and the "industry" and how people who are famous can be real big assholes even to the people they love. I'm kinda used to seeing Adam Sandler play assholes like in a comedic situation, you know, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore. But dude, he wasn't being a funny asshole, he was a very unfunny comedian who doesn't even write his own jokes and he was just a mean asshole who had no friends. It was hard to watch. Then you got Seth Rogen, who isn't very funny and is supposed to be the nice guy out of everything but he winds up screwing over his best friend and I dunno. I think the only thing funny in that movie was Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman because I their characters in the movie were very natural and believable and I'm guessing because they're actually like their characters in real life. Jason a cocky pseudo celebrity, and Jonah a genuinely funny and nice dork who is doing ok because of rich parents. But then you get the weird love story with Leslie Mann and part of you wants her and Adam Sandler to patch things up and get back together because he really loves her and she hates her new husband and then it just turns out he goes back to being a dick and she won't leave her husband because he's the father of her kids. Dude, if my husband was cheating on me, it doesn't make a difference if he's my kid's dad or not, he's out. I dunno, I felt kinda uncomfortable watching it. I'm wanting to laugh and I do at times because it does have some funny parts, but for the most part, its just depressing and you can't feel bad for a dying asshole except for when he finally repents and then it comes out it was just in vain? I felt betrayed!

I think Appatow needs to stop experimenting and stick with his crude humor shtick because it works. Pot jokes get old. Awkward virgins never get old to me. I love Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg, who seem to be typecasted as awkward virgins. By the way, how f'd up must it be as an actor to have your agents always hand you a script, "Dude, you're perfect for this one. The director specifically asked for you. The role is as an awkward virgin."

Can we do a quick awkward virgin count here:

Michael - Juno (1), Superbad (1), Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist (1) and for shits and giggles, we'll throw in Arrested Development (111111111). I don't know his entire catalog of work but 4 roles as awkward virgins? Wow.

Jesse - Adventureland (1), Zombieland (1), 2 right there for him and what the hell is with being in name-of-movie-land movies that just so happen to wind up at shitty amusement parks? Double wow.

Come to think of it, I think when Adventureland came out, Jesse and I sneered at the trailer thinking, "Great, a wannabe Superbad with a wannabe Michael Cera." Turns out it's not that bad of a movie (if you can look past Kristen Stewart's inability to act. Give me a second, I'll get to her.) Lots of weird parallels to how Jesse feels about work, particularly with crappy pay and having to hear the same bad songs all day long. Bill Hader never lets me down, either. That creepy mustache and short shorts. Love when he comes out of the office with the bat, "GIMME A REASON!!! GIMME ONE FUCKING REASON!!!!" Hahahah. Classic awkward cocky neurotic Hader character.

Kristen Stewart. Riiiiiiight. Does she ever play anything that doesn't require getting loaded before each set to pull off the perfect glazed over stare and complete apathy and vacancy of emotions? Seriously, her acting sucks. She must s a lot of d to get a lot of jobs or something. She needs to get in a car accident or plane wreck or something. Here we thought Liv Tyler's acting sucked. Turns out there's a new sucky actress in town and it'll be hard to outsuck Ms. Stewart.

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