Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Plumes Make Awesome

Today this horrible thing happened where I felt like if I didn't eat I'd pass out. Fabulous. Never felt that way before, but it was mostly due to the need (or at least my body thought it needed) of salt. Fortunately I was able to get something to snack on and it was a choice between goldfish or trail mix. I went with goldfish because, while trail mix did have nuts AND chocolate, goldfish are happy and a fun color and cheesy and salty. Anyway, somewhere along the lines of snacking I was looking for inspirational patterns and things to download and I kept noticing birds in a lot of the patterns. You know, birds for the sake of birds? Like that Portlandia skit Put A Bird On It! We have birds with cupcakes. OK, cupcakes! That's over kill! Some of the birds looked like quail, or at least I thought they were of the quail family because they had plumes. It made me think how much cooler things would be if they had plumes. You know? Like zombie quail or goldfish crackers or bacon? Naturally I got to doodling...

Anyway, I think I want to be a quail for Halloween. I don't know how I'll do it, but I'll have a plume and maybe be a ravenous zombie quail. Yeaaaaahhh... awesome...

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Good People Do Exist

This morning I took Charlie to an Easter Egg hunt at the Caulighn Ranch and sadly, after we found parking and got there, all the eggs had been discovered and there were no more left. Charlie and I walked around with his empty basket and decided to make the best of our time there. We looked at the animals and were going to head home when a little boy in front of us dropped an egg and a lolly pop on the grass and told Charlie, "What's that?" as he pointed to the goodies. Charlie picked them up and put them in his basket, excited that he found something. I told the boy thank you as he was probably no older than 9 or 10 and was not told by his dad to do this. It was just a genuinely nice thing of this kid. So I hope the Easter bunny brings him lots of awesome stuff because that was one nice kid and you just don't see kids like that anymore. I kinda gave his dad the nod of "you did something right raising that kid" and a Happy Easter and we went on our way. After a few photo ops and exploring a firetruck later, we called it a morning, came home and dyed Easter eggs. It was a good day. Can't wait till tomorrow.

Networked Blogs

OK, so today while doing some virtual house cleaning, I figure I'd let you know, I used to have my blog fed through networked blogs on facebook, but after separating the GH and personal blog(s), you'll have to relink because I deleted the other one. So if you like my weird quirky stories, you'll probably want to subscribed to my personal blog. And if you like the GH stuff, you can subscribe to that one too.

<3 me

Separation of Church and State

I finally decided to make my blog just my blog again and take my GH blog and make it solely for that purpose alone. I prefer my mess of doodle ruckus and comical ridiculousness that is me to be my blog 24/7 and my GH blog to have it's own feel. After all, I think I'm a collection of about 47 different personas, all worthy of their own blogs, but to keep things simple, we'll just stick with 2 for now.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

April Showers E-Postal Match

I will be uploading an e-postal match on Gunslinging Housewife next month. In the meantime, all my little blog readers and facebook friends can take advantage of the sneak peak, not to mention you can print them out and start doing them now if you want. Practice, practice, practice and submit your best score!  Highest score(s) of each division gets bragging rights. But I'll put up a picture of your winning target and give you a shout out :)

Here's how it works:

Print the April Showers e-postal match target from www.gunslinginghousewife.com .  If you don't have Adobe Acrobat Reader you can download it for free at www.adobe.com .  

This is an honor system.
Shooter has 10 rounds to hit all the targets.
Start with the drop at the bottom and work your way up to the top.
Break up the rain clouds to prevent any future rain drops from falling.
Tally up your points.
Take a photo of your score with your name, date, division and score written on it and email your photo along with your name, date, division and score written in your email (in case I can't read what your photo says.)
Email it to jenny@gunslinginghousewife.com .
This is not timed. Plan those shots carefully.
Highest scores of the division will be posted on GunslingingHousewife.com and the GH Facebook page.

Division 1: Rimfire Pistol - shoot at 15 feet
Division 2: Centerfire Pistol - shoot at 15 feet
Division 3: Open All - Any rimfire or centerfire pistol with optical and/or performance modifications - shoot at 21 feet
Division 4: Rimfire Rifle - shoot at 25 yards
Division 5: Centerfire Rifle - shoot at 25 yards
Division 6: Open All Rifles - any rimfire or centerfire rifle with optical and/or performance modifications - shoot at 50 yards

My silly little rain drop and rain cloud illustrations will not appreciate being shot at, but I'll appreciate seeing people go out and shoot as the weather gets nicer! Good luck and Happy Shooting!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Adventures in Potty Training

I'm not sure what I do wrong, but between the past few months, Charlie goes on and off with wanting to use the potty. The times I work with him, he pees all over the house. Yesterday, when Jesse got off work, Charlie magically goes in the potty on his own and pees in there 3 times. Yay. Today, he pees in there all day and only had two accidents. But by the evening, he told me he had to go potty and then proceeds to go to the potty and pees. Yay! OK, so he'll be 3 in a month, but technically he's still 2 and if I can get him using the toilet for good while he's 2, well, hey, I'll be a happy camper. But it seems like Jesse is the magic trick in this equation. Ever since Dadda was home to see him use the potty it was like the magical missing element. Anyway, I hope he keeps it up and I hope he's 100% potty trained by May.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


I always make a point to check the toilet after I flush because I don't trust a lot of toilets. I don't want to be that guy who goes and leaves "presents" behind. Like the other day, I went into the bathroom and for the same reason I check after I flush, I also check before I go. Well, let's just say I looked down and did a Hank Hill sounding, "Aaaahhh!" Someone went poop. Someone didn't flush. Somewhere in my mind I like to pretend I know "whodunnit". So I flush, then pee, then flush again. And of course I do what any American would do, I run and tell my friend, unable to tell the story completely because I'm laughing so hard and all she can say is that I'm beet red and she can barely understand me, which gets us both giggling like a bunch of baffoons. Good times, good times.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Ghosts of Tonsils Past

As a child my tonsils were so huge I would stop breathing at night and my mom used to have to wake me up to get me breathing again. Today this is linked to sleep apnea and doctors now take tonsils out for it. Of course, as a kid, the ENT I used to see would tell my parents it "wasn't a big deal" and that I'd "grow into" my tonsils. It wasn't until June 2005 and several episodes of tonsillitis and strep throat each year that I finally found a doctor who agreed that while it was "too dangerous" to remove them because of potential blood loss, they could burn part of them off and "shrink" them. So, for a few lovely gross photos, here was my pre-op adult tonsils, nice and full of pockets where food would get stuck no matter how much I gargled with Listerine and vexed me with perpetual "rotten egg" smelling breath.

And then, seven years later, THIS happens! What the hell is this!? For comparison sake, the right tonsil is pretty swollen, not to mention hard as a rock.


The bad breath is back. I'm pretty sure there's some sort of infection going on in there and for the love of all things sacred, I would like just ONE ENT say I can have them taken out. Take out all that crap. Tonsils. Adenoids. I'm sick of being sick for six months of the year that other doctors peg as "allergies". I'm not feeling any better from Claritin every day, it's just not shaking a common cold! It's not rocket science! The damned things are plaguing me every year and I'm done with them! You'll cut a baby out of me where there is blood loss involved but you can't cut and cauterize my tonsils off with a laser? Come on, docs, don't be stingy bastards, just take my f'ing tonsils out already. My right side of my face is swollen and I have pain radiating from my right tonsil (which feels like it's going to explode from pressure, just an FYI) that goes up along my face to the base of my sinuses below my right eye, to my right ear, down along my jaw and I'm starving and deal with the pain because I love food too damned much to settle for a liquid diet! AAAAAHHH!!!! Seriously, I'm so done with these things to the point I'd just get drunk as hell and take an exacto knife and a hot spoon and try to cut the damned things out and cauterize them myself. Awful, I know, right? It sucks how my eyes water up in pain every time I swallow or yawn and how my ear gets stuffed up from pressure and my hearing is sucking and I yell because I assume no one can hear me just like I can't hear them. AAAAAHHHH!!!! FAIL!!!