Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Ghosts of Tonsils Past

As a child my tonsils were so huge I would stop breathing at night and my mom used to have to wake me up to get me breathing again. Today this is linked to sleep apnea and doctors now take tonsils out for it. Of course, as a kid, the ENT I used to see would tell my parents it "wasn't a big deal" and that I'd "grow into" my tonsils. It wasn't until June 2005 and several episodes of tonsillitis and strep throat each year that I finally found a doctor who agreed that while it was "too dangerous" to remove them because of potential blood loss, they could burn part of them off and "shrink" them. So, for a few lovely gross photos, here was my pre-op adult tonsils, nice and full of pockets where food would get stuck no matter how much I gargled with Listerine and vexed me with perpetual "rotten egg" smelling breath.

And then, seven years later, THIS happens! What the hell is this!? For comparison sake, the right tonsil is pretty swollen, not to mention hard as a rock.


The bad breath is back. I'm pretty sure there's some sort of infection going on in there and for the love of all things sacred, I would like just ONE ENT say I can have them taken out. Take out all that crap. Tonsils. Adenoids. I'm sick of being sick for six months of the year that other doctors peg as "allergies". I'm not feeling any better from Claritin every day, it's just not shaking a common cold! It's not rocket science! The damned things are plaguing me every year and I'm done with them! You'll cut a baby out of me where there is blood loss involved but you can't cut and cauterize my tonsils off with a laser? Come on, docs, don't be stingy bastards, just take my f'ing tonsils out already. My right side of my face is swollen and I have pain radiating from my right tonsil (which feels like it's going to explode from pressure, just an FYI) that goes up along my face to the base of my sinuses below my right eye, to my right ear, down along my jaw and I'm starving and deal with the pain because I love food too damned much to settle for a liquid diet! AAAAAHHH!!!! Seriously, I'm so done with these things to the point I'd just get drunk as hell and take an exacto knife and a hot spoon and try to cut the damned things out and cauterize them myself. Awful, I know, right? It sucks how my eyes water up in pain every time I swallow or yawn and how my ear gets stuffed up from pressure and my hearing is sucking and I yell because I assume no one can hear me just like I can't hear them. AAAAAHHHH!!!! FAIL!!!

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