Saturday, December 24, 2011

Aches, Pains, and Complains

5:20 AM - Wake up. Nose is full of thick yellow brown snot from week long sinus ruckus. Spend the next 10 minutes sitting on the toilet blowing it out, going pee, and spitting run off into the toilet between my legs. Multitasking at it's finest.

5:48 AM - Hop on the computer and look up directions to Shelly's house. Follow up by making coffee. Note to self: put water in coffee maker before turning on.

6:00 AM - Get dressed. Search frantically in the dark for leg warmers. I know I'll find them because I know they feel significantly different from the rest of the stuff in my sock/bra/underwear/tights drawer. OK, maybe not. Mistakenly found various pairs of socks before finding leg warmers.

6:15 AM - Brushing teeth and what not. Still haven't found my black do'rag. Not sure where it is, maybe in a clothing item or hunting gear? Haven't found it in a few weeks and I've been looking for it. Maybe it's time to give up looking for it.

6:50 AM - Finished getting ready. Mix up coffee. I look like a walking ad for H&K. I'm rocking leg warmers. I feel awesome. Today is gonna be a good day.

6:58 AM - Leave house. Google maps tells me it'll take 20 minutes to get to Shelly's house.

7:13 AM - Parking out front from Shelly's. Looks like Google lied. Rummage through car to get stuff situated for the day's run.

7:35 AM - Waiting for someone to show up for run. We should have left 5 minutes ago. She shows up eventually. Start running.

8:00 AM - Where the f are we?

8:15 AM - I hate you hills.

8:20 AM - I really like these houses. OOH! Horses!

8:25 AM - That sounds like a gun shot. If I'm out near these woods all sweaty and hearing guns in this morning cold, I'd rather be hunting. I'm half waiting for a deer to pop out in front of me any minute now.

8:50 AM - Stop. Dogs. They're barking at us. We have to stop or they'll chase us. Or so we're told.

9:00 AM - Halfway point. Surprise brownies. Oh yeah.

10:00 AM - Almost done. Lost our fearless leader, but we keep going. Says a lot about our characters. Oh look! A siren!

10:30 AM - Back at Shelly's house. Fudge and cider up. Good times.

11:00 AM - Log miles. Take a bath. Loaf briefly.

12:00 PM - Get dressed and what not.

12:50 PM - Take Charlie to see the new Chipmunks movie.

2:30 PM - Head home. Feeling guilty for being amused by Chipmunks movie.

3:00 PM - Home. Headache from lack of sugar and caffeine. Feeling pains of run. Achy. Tired. Gotta get ready for church.

3:40 PM - Leaving for church. Charlie is being a butt. Jesse stays home because he has a caffeine headache and is watching TV.

3:52 PM - Get to church. Charlie is asleep. Dammit.

4:00 PM - We're early for church but it's already packed. Charlie and I stand in the back. My knees are seriously killing me now.

4:10 PM - Charlie has to pee. We leave.

4:12 PM - We return. Someone lets me sit down. Thank God!

4:30 PM - Charlie is restless. He starts making a hand gun and shooting at Jesus. I grab his hand mortified before anyone notices and tell him, "NO!"

4:35 PM - Charlie is continuing to be a butt. The childrens' choir is singing Silent Night. Charlie throws up the metal sign. Mortified, again, I put his hand down and say, "NOT HERE!"

4:55 PM - Leave church aching and frustrated my husband and child are heathens, but I love them. Frustrated that even though I'm in pain and tired from being up all day, I still go to church. Charlie, who fell asleep in the car, managed to be OK for the most part at church. Thinking people must think I'm some horrible person because I'm at church by myself with my child who is trying to shoot Jesus and throw up the metal sign. Further proof this child is the devil child. ::facepalm::

5:15 PM - Home. Jesse didn't take out the trash. I hobble down the stairs and to the trash to take out the trash and boxes.

5:30 PM - Hobble back up the stairs.

5:45 PM - Open one present each.

6:12 PM - Done for the night. Finished blogging about my day. Ready to hang up dress, throw on jammies, throw my arms up in defeat and crash. Just gotta add pictures.

6:18 PM - Charlie spilled OJ on the carpet. Why does he have a drink on the carpet? So much for having a clean house for Christmas. So much for the carpets being cleaned. OK, NOW I'M DONE.

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